OMG! DS did not like the Xmas pressie given at the school party and threw it on the floor.

[JollyPirate]

Am utterly mortified, he's 7 on Sunday so waaaayyyy old enough to know better.

His teacher greeted me at the classroom door to say what had happened and said "some of the adults were a bit annoyed but I'm not because I know what children are like sometimes".

I am horrified. DS is not settling well at night and most evenings is still awake at 10pm. I know he is tired but even so.

Had a long talk with him on the way home and have said that tomorrow he will be aplogising. I have to go to work in the morning but I collect him at 3pm so will be asking him to accompany me back to the classroom to see his teacher and say sorry. He is really worrying about this.

Now he says he is sad. I asked him what about and he said "because I was bad", so I suggested he thinks about how to make the situation better .... if he doesn't come up with "I need to say sorry" though I will be telling him that's the answer and taking him to do so.

Am I handling this right? Any other suggestions?

Have told him that if he is rude and ungrateful for things that others will not like him or want to be around him. Am so so embarassed about this.

I think your reaction is a bit strong. Nothing to be mortified or so so embarrassed about. He is a young kid. Didn't like what he got and acted out instinctively. Just a gentle chat about trying to consider others feeling's when giving and receiving and suggesting etc. But don't be overly mortified - will make a minor thing into a major one and cause anxiety IMO

Yep I think you should do a bit of backpedalling now tbh - you've made your point.

As long as he knows that he shouldn't have done it then I think it's fine.

Most kids imo are so overexcited and frazzled and tired by now (and we've still got over a week to go, gawd help us) - it's such a big build up.

well I have to say I would also have reacted similarly to you JP - imo nearly 7 is old enough to know that even if you don't like something you're given you smile and say thankyou.

Don't be embarassed though

But I do think he should apologise. I just don't think it's such a big deal.

Don't have any suggestions, but It sounds like he is tired, over excited, and run down by the end of term - and that he realises that he got it REALLY wrong.

Its sounds like a good to get him to apologise, and hopefully it will make him feel better, but perhaps not make too big a thing of it & just see it as a learning experience for him?

I'm sure he's not the only child to have done something pretty grim at the school party, its just that time of year, and they're all a bit frazzled (no doubt teachers included )

Making him wait until 3pm to say sorry seems a bit mean - he will be worrying all day about his teacher's reaction and thinking he's in trouble.

Why not get him to write a note/draw a picture for the teacher to say sorry? Or even write it in a Christmas Card?

He's realised that he's been 'bad' and so I think now is time for the 'I still love you' cuddles. Make sure he knows that he's been naughty, but you forgive him and he mustn't think about it any longer.

if the OP's DS (or indeed if it was one of mine) was 3 or 4 perhaps 5yrs old then I could understand his reaction and I'd say she'd overreacted.

But at nearly 7 - nah - over excitement etc no excuse at that age.

And I agree that Yr2 (or P3 if you're in Scotland) is about the age that other children react to stuff like that - certainly that's when DS1 started mentioning behaviour from other children at schoool when they were rude etc.

I'm big on manners me - so will probably be in the minority agreeing with the OP's reaction

I think you're handling it well Jolly Pirate... I would do exactly the same and I wouldn't be at all happy...
Got to say, what's with the passive aggressive crap from the teacher though..."some of the adults were a bit annoyed but not me"! What's she passing that on for? really helpful

It's that time of year when kids start acting up, isn't it? I think he should apologise tomorrow morning and then you can all move on. He shouldn't be worrying himself all night about it, though. Take his mind off it with a nice Christmassy film or something.

ooooo my last sentence came out all wrong - I don't mean that people who think that the OP over-reacted aren't big on manners

Thanks girls - have calmed down and given cuddles. I suggested that he did his teacher an Xmas card (he's doing them tonight anyhow) and says a "Sorry" in that. I won't make him wait till 3pm to do it.
He knows he messed up and he knows that what he should have done is say a thank you out of politeness.
I made my point to him I think...... just was so .

He is tired and over-excited but he honestly does know better. I think his behaviour today was an immature over-reaction due to tiredness etc. But he definitely needed picking up on it as I don't want a repeat.

sounds like you're handling it really well and that's the main thing

If he was doing this all the time then yes he should hkow better at 7

but it sounds like a one-off, he won't be the first or last over-excited, over-tired kid to throw a strop

the teacher sounds wise

When my child was 4.11 she was given a book for having 100% attendance. When she looked at it she told the Head she already had that one and again with the second one. She was given a different one later. I thought this was funny but still felt I needed to say something to the Head. She was MrsCat'sBumFace and said "she isn't old enough to know yet about how to respond..'" or words to that effect, I can't fully remember. I pointed out she was only 4. Knowing my daughter she would have said it so as to not waste a book as she already had it.