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3yo DS wetting himself 6 times daily - bc of divorce?

1 reply

Pixle333 · 14/12/2009 22:04

Sorry for the long message...my three-year-old son was potty trained in May and has never really taken to it that well, but was doing fine when, six weeks ago, my husband walked out and said he wanted a divorce. Since then, my son has slowly but surely started to wet himself, and today he wet himself six times. The staff at his nursery seem fed up with it and I feel totally judged. My estranged husband totally diminished it today and said, 'Well, I've googled it and it's totally normal'. I said it isn't and besides, it's easy to say that if you're not the one dealing with it.
I feel like I've tried everything - rewards, sanctions, saying something, not saying something, asking him if he wants a wee (to which he says no or even shouts at me for asking before promptly wetting himself). If I notice he's got a wet patch I'll say, 'Sit on the potty' and he'll do a big wee, so clearly is able to hold it in (which makes me think it's not physical, such as a UTI).
Should I go to the GP and ask about it? And is three too young to ask to see a psychologist, or am I mad for even considering this?
My son knows that his dad isn't staying with us anymore, but because my husband hasn't sorted out anywhere permanent to live, it feels like we can't even say things like, 'You've got two homes now' and start to explain what's really going on.
Help me...please!!!

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Washersaurus · 14/12/2009 22:28

Hmm I think it isn't that unusual for a 3yo to have this many accidents each day (as a mother of a boy who still has days like this at 4.5yo), and it isn't that unusual for them to regress, as my son did. I guess that could have been started by the recent upheaval and he may be picking up on your stress. It must be very difficult for you.

I don't think it is anyone's fault and trying to pin the blame will probably make things worse.

I hate to say it, but you just have to go with it and always be prepared for the worst. My approach is to have lots of trousers rolled up with pants in ready to be changed into that DS1 can go and get when needed.

Try not asking if he wants a wee; tell him it is time to wee at set intervals until he starts improving. Remember, there is no shame in putting him back in pull-ups if that is what is needed in the short term.

Nursery should be supporting you not making you feel bad too btw.

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