Is it normal for sibling rivalry to re-emerge as the baby gets bigger?

[Ceebee74]

DS2 is 13 months now - we had a difficult time when he was first born with DS1 who was 2.4 at the time - quite aggressive towards DS2 (biting, hitting etc) which we dealt with by ensuring he couldn't get to DS2 unsupervised, rewards. It gradually got easier and whilst DS1 has always been very boisterous with DS2 and manhandles him constantly, it has not been aggressive.

These last couple of weeks, DS1 (now 3.5) has started being aggressive towards DS2 again - this time, it is pulling him to the floor when he is standing up, kicking him to the floor when he is sat on the sofa and DS2 is stood up holding on. In hindsight this probably started as DS2 started getting on his feet much more and becoming mobile with his walker (as soon as DS2 stands up and starts walking with his walker, DS1 goes straight over and pulls him down).

Does this sound like those initial feelings of jealousy re-emerging now that DS2 is no longer a 'baby' and more of a threat??

And how the hell do we deal with it? I am back to taking DS2 with me everytime I go upstairs/kitchen/toilet

Bump - anyone?

I think it is probably quite common, as baby can do more / get attention more / grab ds1's toys etc. he will seem more of a threat.
It sounds like you dealt with it well last time, so hopefully this phase will pass too.
Can you find any books to read to ds1 which might help him to understand his feelings? I find that if my ds1 seems angry about something it helps if I try to talk to him about it - even if at the time he only seems to be half listening!
Another thing I have done, if ds1 is getting cross with ds2, is give him an alternative way of dealing with it - e.g. if he wants to have a quiet play with his cars or whatever without ds2 interfering, he should tell me and I'll distract ds2. If you could find out whether there is a particular thing that ds1 is finding hard, you could try to think of a solution.
We also recently started to give ds1 a special bit of time with us, when ds2 is asleep, and tell him this is his time to have us to himself and we'll play/read/whatever he wants. Although we don't manage this every day, he really enjoys it and it has been worth doing.
Good luck

I didn't have a problem with jealousy when DD was born (DS was 24 months). No problem at all and we were surprised!

However, when DD started cruising etc, DS knocked her down like you are describing. Because I didn't have jealousy in the first place, I don't think this was exactly jealousy, just something else - the baby has been sitting down/whatever for so long, it feels threatening for them to get up I suppose. My DD is now nearly 2 so very able to walk around and get anything she wants. DS is nearly 4 and he does get quite cross when she wants "his" toys sometimes, but it is getting better because both understand the concept of sharing. I think now what I am into is just sibling squabbling which will continue forever . As your smaller one gets bigger, they will stick up for themselves more. This week, my DD was fed up with DS snatching stuff off her and she went over to him and bashed him over the head with a toy a few times (he is a very big boy) and he started crying. I keep having to remind him to share etc, but as the smaller one is growing more quickly than the bigger one at the moment, so physically, they are becoming closer in size.

banana thanks for your advice. We are probably guilty of not spending much 1-2-1 time with DS1 because DS2 is quite a demanding baby so as soon as we put him down for a nap, me and DH tend to get on with jobs that we can't do when DS2 is around or sink into the sofa - really should try harder.

I know it will pass but having gone through it this time last year (we had a pretty tough Christmas last year because of having a newborn and a very jealous toddler on our hands) and literally counting the days/weeks until things started to get easier.....to find myself back in exactly the same situation now makes me want to scream

I know exactly what you mean about wanting to use the time to get something done / have a much needed rest. I think I tended to play a quick game / read a story etc. but then be hurrying off to do something. I was surprised how much ds1 appreicated it when we set aside an hour to really concentrate on him - especially both of us at once. I made me realise that he didn't really get us both to himself very much.
Hope Christmas is easier this year.

We've found the same thing - DS(3.9) is obviously feeling ambivalent about his little sister at the moment (she's 10 months and has been crawling since 7 months). I don't know if it's the right thing to do, but I take him away from her and put him on the stairs for a time out. I'm also trying to do some more one-to-one things with him, but it's really hard. And it upsets me to see my lovely boy being deliberately mean to my lovely girl, so I do sympathise.