Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Sleeping in big cot from 7 weeks

61 replies

Minxie1977 · 12/12/2009 22:13

DH and I have been putting our 7 week old DD in her nursery to sleep at night. We decided on this as she had been sleeping better in her big cot, where we'd put her for day naps (live in a bungalow). After reading some info on cot death, I see they recommend her to be in our room for 6 months and now I wonder if I should put her back in our room.

The thing is she sleeps so much better in her room, I think because it's pitch black and I'm not snoring like a field of pigs. She has even been sleeping from 11pm to 6am for the last few nights.

We have a video monitor which I check all the time as I'm so worried about anything happening to her, and if I can't see her move I go in there, but that's not really the point with cot death is it because I'd be too late by then.

Guess I'd just like some opinions, and to know if anyone else would let their LO sleep seperate to them this young?

She's just waking for her feed now so I may not be back for some time

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Meglet · 12/12/2009 22:20

This was one thing that I didn't follow the official rules on. Both my two were in cots in their rooms by 8 weeks, they seemed to sleep better in their cots. Mind you, my house is so tiny they were only 10 steps away from my side of the bed and I could still hear ds sucking his thumb when he was a little older. I had all the doors open too so the air could circulate and I could hear them.

TinyPawz · 12/12/2009 22:32

My friend's DD was in a big cot in her own room from a few days old. She is fine (10 now)

My own DD was in my room until she was 16weeks but I was bf and was easier for me.

You have to do what is best for you and your family.

NickeeS · 12/12/2009 22:38

My DD has been in her own room since she was 9 weeks, like your DD she sleeps better and actually goes through 8-8 now. I did get some stick from the health visitor and clinic this week though, but I just ignored her. My other half was sleeping in the spare room and we felt we need to get in the same room again. He is a light sleeper and fidgets all night so I think he and DD would have been constantly waking each other. Do what is best for you.

jkklpu · 12/12/2009 22:39

My ds1 was in his big cot in his own room from 2 weeks, right next-door to our room. Ds2, on the other hand, was in our bed co-sleeping till he was about 1, a true milk monster. As long as you know you'll hear your baby at the slightest sound, she and you will be fine.

YorkshireRose · 12/12/2009 22:41

I put DD in her cot from 2 weeks as she slept really well there, She slept from 11pm to 8am.

I can't really see the safety problem as if you are asleep and your DC stops breathing you would not be aware of it even if she was next to your bed.

Do what is best for you and your DC.

EvilTwinsStoleSantasSleigh · 12/12/2009 22:43

My DTs were in their own room from a few days. We all slept better that way, even though I was going through to feed them when they woke. Since there were two of them, it was partly because there wasn't enough room in our bedroom for them, but also because DH and I felt that it was important for all our sakes that he and I got as much sleep as we were able to with two tiny babies to care for.

Do what works for you.

Horton · 12/12/2009 22:44

I would personally not have risked it. The point is not that you would hear if a child stopped breathing but that listening to your breathing (yes, even snoring) helps them regulate their own breathing. Cot death is a tiny tiny chance and you would be very unlucky indeed for it to happen to your child but if it did and you'd put your child in his or her own room, would you ever be able to forget that it might not have happened if you hadn't done that?

Tommy · 12/12/2009 22:46

I would - DS1 was in his own room at 8 weeks (HV suggested it since he was sleeping through). I think as long as you have a monitor, there's not really an issue.

Horton · 12/12/2009 23:54

Except that for a very tiny and sad minority of people, there is an issue. Some babies stop breathing when they are very small. Some of those babies might have continued breathing if they were sleeping in a room with their parents or parent and might still be alive. How is that not an issue? Why on earth would you take the risk?

scottishmummy · 13/12/2009 00:13

used nursery from birth,adjacent room door open, close and audible, and video monitors all gadgets etc

spanna74 · 13/12/2009 05:31

DD1 used nursery from 6 weeks (but with our door and her door open almost like she is in our room)

DD2 still in with us as 23 weeks.

I wouldn't worry about it, I beieve the single biggest cot death risk is if you have a smoker in the the house, all the other things are much smaller in comparison.

If you are really worried though and not sleeping properly yourself anyway checking all the time so not really benefiting from the fact DD is sleeping better then move her back in with you.

ElenorRigby · 13/12/2009 06:52

DD was in a cot in own room from around 3 months.
She was always properly monitored though and still is.
Her baby monitor checks her breathing and any noise she makes. If she stops breathing it alarms. She is 2 years 4 months and I still have the monitor on her. I wake a couple of times at night look at the monitor to check she's ok and go back to sleep.

Mylittlebubble · 13/12/2009 07:12

My DD went straight into her own room when we got back from Hospital. We have a motion sensor which alarms if there is no movement for 20 seconds and that helped me relaxed about her being in her own room.
I agree that it is better alround for you all to get some proper sleep.

meep · 13/12/2009 07:17

I think you have to get all the information that is available about cot deaths and then decide what risks you want to take.

I am with Horton. The recommendation for a baby sleeoing in the same room is not just that you can hear if anything goes wrong, it is so that the baby regulates their breathing by being able to hear the paerents. If that lessened the risk of cot death then I was all for my dd's sleeping in the room with us.

Some people think that this theory is nonsense - each to their own. You read the info - you make a decision.

It is certainly not a risk I would want to take.

But - I am lucky enough that a full size coty fits down my side of the bed - some people have no choice once the baby is out of a moses basket.

Yes, babies are very noisy at first - they get quieter!

Yes, your dh/dp may be in a different room to start off with - you have the rest of your lives to sleep in the same bed together - what is 6 months?!

dd2 is still in with us (8mo) but that has been more due to her being ill and night waking so we don't want to move her in with dd1 quite yet. But dd1 was with us for 9 months (and I wasn't bf, co-sleeping or anything).

When she moved to her own room her sleep didn't change much - and it was a PITA if she did wake up as I had to get out of bed to go and stroke her tummy. Babies sleep improves (mostly ) as they get older - so may not always be due to a room change.

Anyway - everyone does what is best for their family. But I think a lot of poeple don't know why they are supposed to have babies in with them for 6 months. If you have all the info then you can make a proper choice.

Georgimama · 13/12/2009 07:25

What Horton and meep said. I wouldn't have risked it and didn't (DS was technically in his cot from 10 weeks in our room, but in effect we co slept until he was well over a year old). It's entirely up to you.

Is there really not room for the cot in your bedroom - even if you have a shifty about of the furniture temporarily? Even push one side of the double up against the wall? A pain I agree but probably worth it.

canella · 13/12/2009 07:36

All my dc were in a big cot in their own room from 4 weeks.
No-one in the house smokes, they were asleep on their backs and they werent too warm. I felt we had minimised any risk of cot death.

I think you can over analyse this and you could say there were risks of co-sleeping but that seems to be ok on MN!!
as long as you think there are no other risks of cot death then i dont see a problem with your dc being in their own room.

Georgimama · 13/12/2009 07:43

There are risks of co-sleeping if you smoke, are drunk, or have a sleep disorder which makes it unlikely that you would be aware if you rolled onto the baby. Otherwise there are no risks whatsoever.

Babies are more likely to die of cot death if someone smokes or they are put on their fronts, but babies do still die of cot death, and not being in the room with their parent(s) when sleeping under the age of 6 months is the biggie after those other factors. So to me it just isn't worth the risk.

meep · 13/12/2009 07:48

I wouldn't say that reading the recommendations on how to minimise the possibility of cot death and following them is over analysis?

But it is up to each person to do the reading and make a choice. I just think a lot of parents don't know that the reason for babies sleeping in the same room as them is because the babu can hear the parenet brething and not just that the parent can hear the baby.

BigusBumus · 13/12/2009 07:58

At 8 weeks my DH and I were despairing at the lack of sleep we were getting as we are both light sleepers and any tiny noise from DS2 would have us both wide awake. He has to work 8am-5pm and being permanently knackered wasn't good.

As DS2 was a good sleeper anyway, I asked the HV at 8weeks about moving him and she said yes absolutely. She said that as she had seen our house, seen that it was new and modern, clean and warm and well kept, that his cot and matress was new etc.she didn't have a problem with it and in fact agreed that it was better for us all to have proper sleep.

So we moved him, doors open, no need for a monitor. Plus, almost immediately our sexlife and therefore our relationship as a whole improved dramatically. Much happier all round. DS2 is now 3 and perfectly fine.

Georgimama · 13/12/2009 08:01

That's lovely for you Bigus, but the fact remains that there are people who will do exactly what you did and their babies will die. Whether or not they would still have been alive if they were in their parents' room we will never know.

meep · 13/12/2009 08:10

The fact a HV has no problem with it doesn't take away from the fact that it is recommended to have a baby share your room for 6 months. The recommendation is there for a reason - hv approval doesn't change it.

Sorry - I just hate the arguments "X said it was okay" or "Y did it and it was okay"

Again - be armed with the knowledge (not just stories from HV's/friends/family) and make a decision that you are comfortable with

BigusBumus · 13/12/2009 08:12

And there are many who will die whilst co-sleeping with a parent. And they would wonder if the baby would have lived if in its own cot..

Its personal choice. Even the SIDS website itself say this:

"Ultimately the choice of what to do lies with you, the parent. By taking in as much information as possible, however, including conflicting theories, you will be in the best possible position to do the right thing for your child."

Georgimama · 13/12/2009 08:12

Indeed meep. My grandmother smoked 30+ cigarettes per day and died in her sleep at 77 from causes totally unrelated to smoking. Does that make smoking safe? Of course not.

BigusBumus · 13/12/2009 08:15

I wasn't suggesting that the HV saying it would be OK made my child therefore immune from cot-death, meep!

I am aware of all the regulations, having her approval was one of the many factors,for and against that i used to make my well informed decision.

Georgimama · 13/12/2009 08:16

Fine, do the right thing for your child, but I don't actually think your sex life has any relevance to your child's well being.

Flip

1 2 3