3 year old waking up to 7 times a night

[Scarletti]

My 3 year old has never slept well; waking between 2-7 times a night every night since about 12 months. We now have a new baby and DSs waking is really becoming a problem. We are not sure what causes him to wake - there is no particular pattern ; occassionally he needs to go to the toilet but not often. He sleeps better when he has a sleepover at his grandparents - maybe waking only once or twice and if he sleeps in our bed with us won't wake at all.
He mostly still naps in the day but this doesn't appear to affect the pattern of waking.
I am completely clueless as to how to approach this problem . Anyone had similar or have any advice.

My DS1 didn't sleep through the night until he was nearly 4 so I can well understand that you are exhausted.

Do you have to cuddle your DS back to sleep? I was caught in this trap. What I did was gradually wean him off me over the course of a month. I stopped cuddling him in his bed but sat next to his bed just stroking his hair. After a week of this I moved my chair a foot away from his bed and every night gradually moved the chair a little bit further until it was out of his room.

This was 4 yrs ago so my memory of it all is a bit hazy.

This website could be helpful

Good luck.

Thanks - we just tuck him back or tell him to go back to bed. Just can't work out what it is that wakes him.

Don't worry got an 8 yr old who has never slept on their own, tried everything nothing works but at least we all get some sleep now I just let her sleep with me, even bought a double bed for them to see if this helped , it didn't, they now decide who , mum or dad they want to sleep with but at least we all get some sleep this way!!

Tried themoving away gradually , letting them cry, nothing worked!!

Have you tried sticker charts? Or a sleep fairy who leaves a present outside the bedroom door of a boy who sleeps in his bed all night?

Could you leave him at the grandparents for a couple of nights more regularly in order to get him into the habit.

Lots of people recommend "rapid returns", i.e.. taking him back to bed immediately, with a repeated mantra (such as "nighttime, time to sleep". It can take 20-30 times on the first night, hopefully this drops off after a few days.

Yes we tried the star chart although we are planning again in the New Year as he will be older and may have a better idea of delayed rewards.
Do some children just always want to sleep with their parents. At the moment I am co-sleeping with the baby whilst DS gets into bed with DH around 5 am having woken up various times in the night.
No chance of a third ever being conceived I think.

If there is a new baby in the house it can very often make their sleeping worse.

Rapid returns can often work very well but maybe wait a couple of months until the he is a bit more used to being a big brother.

It will get easier. They do go through stages of waking up, especially when siblings arrive on the scene, or a parent's away for work etc. Things that we take for granted as part of life can really upset their daily routine and I spose it has a knock on effect with sleep.

It won't always be this way. Good luck.

Have you thought about co-sleepign with both kids for a bit? WE did that (er... still do quite regularly) when ds was born, and I think it reassured dd enormously. She was happy to go back into her own bed/room after a few months. (and truth be told, I love sleeping in the middle of my babies )