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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

mortified my toddler swore

65 replies

spanna74 · 10/12/2009 13:38

Things have been pretty tough here since DD2 arrived 5 months ago and I have lost my rag on a number of occasions recenty.

Yesterday DD1 (2 and 3/4) was putting books back on the shelf and they fell off and she said bl*dy bl*dy hell. I am literally mortified as I do remember screaming this at one of my lower points this week. She also kicked the door and said bl00dy door when she couldn't open it.

I do try no to swear in front of them but things have pushed me to the brink recently and I have snapped quite a few times.

I asked her very gently not to use those words as mummy shouldn't have said them but now wonder if i should just ignore it and not make an issue of it. Would die if she repeated it at nursery.

Feel awful about this.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

thenewbornnanny · 12/12/2009 08:44

teameric LOVE your username LOL

I think in the grand scheme of things toddlers swearing is only as big an issue as you make it. There are more important things to focus on like encouraging kindness and courtesy. Thesedays, I'm sad to say, I would be happier to hear a 3 year old say please and thankyou, than I would be disturbed to hear the same child say f*ck.

pranma · 12/12/2009 09:35

When my ds was 7 he called my dd[3]a tw**.I told him what the word meant and went on and on about not using parts of the body as swear words-oh I was so self righteous in my indignation.He said crossly,'I didnt call her a gina[family word]I called her a TWIT.Oh heck-my hearing was awful even then!

SueFley · 12/12/2009 10:07

the better parent was a gag tbh but i dont think swearing around kids is funny or nice or endearing expecailly when they then see it as the norm.
And I dont think someone needs to be criticised for saying so!

The ability to tailor your language to the environemnt you are in, isnt hard imo.

a one off fair enough but to hear kids that age swear is just NOt nice

StripeyKnickersSpottySocks · 12/12/2009 10:14

Oh do fuck off.

(that was a gag by the way)

SueFley · 12/12/2009 10:16

The hting is that I think everyone swears oocasionally but for eg i have never ever heard my parents swear or my dhs parents so it is possible. and to do it often enough that your kid repeats it shows a lack of self control.
If someone was hitting their kid( not at all the same in severity I know) and you said "i cant help it" youd think someone was nuts!

MarioandLuigi · 12/12/2009 10:25

My DS is now 8, when he was about three he was playing at the kitchen table with his trains when he said 'And Thomas said to Percy 'Fucking Hell''

I didnt make a fuss or say anything and he never said it again (Inside I was mortified and trying not to laugh at the same time)

at the holier-than-thou parents

SueFley · 12/12/2009 10:25

i think the criticism for trying not to swear is a little unfair. its like slagging off the girl at school who does her h/w!

StripeyKnickersSpottySocks · 12/12/2009 10:31

I was the swot who always did her homework, but I never slagged off the kids who didn't do their homework. That's the difference.

Some people won't like being told that they have no self control and insinuating that if they can't stop swearing then they're nuts.

HEIFERmerrychristmas · 12/12/2009 10:41

I'm with old pudding face. My DD has never repeated a swear word (in front of me at least).

Not saying I have never sworn in front of her but not often enough for her to pick it up.

Nearest I have gotten so far was saying "Oh for Fecks Sake will you please shut up"..

She looked at me with shock on her face and said,"Mummy, we don't say shut up in this house"..

Phew, got away with that mostly because it was the first and only time I had said Feck in front of her.

Kids swearing is not big and not clever and certainly not funny....

debs40 · 12/12/2009 12:40

Heifer Kids swearing is not big and not clever and certainly not funny....

Not unless they smoke too..

You can do these things without realising sometimes. I swear. I try not to do so in front of the kids but sometimes, particularly in the car, you do it without realising.

I remember being on holiday when DS 1 was 3 (he's now 6) and we couldn't find a parking space in a car park, so we went elsewhere.

For days after, DS1 kept saying 'fuck it'. For example, I'd say 'breakfast is ready' and he'd say 'fuck it, I'm reading my book'.

We realised that one of us must have said 'fuck it' when we couldn't find a parking space.

Shit happens . He no longer says it. But I'd be more worried if he started calling people 'stupid' or 'an idiot' or 'fat' or anything else horrible.

busybutterfly · 12/12/2009 12:55

We went out for dinner with some staunch catholic friends.

DS1 (5 at the time) said in a really loud voice "FUGGER!"

It was sooooo embarrassing.

Next time we went to see them their DD1 (7) said in the car "Mummy, what does cun* mean?"

I did to myself.

Her mum was extremely and I know they would NEVER use language like that.

Kids eh?!

SpangleMaker · 12/12/2009 15:52

When I was about 3 my 'party trick' was reading out my Lady and the Tramp book and turning the page at the right time (I wasn't G&T, just insisted on it being read to me 1,000,000 times). Once, performing my trick in front of grandparents and other assorted relatives, I got to the bit where Lady has been out with Tramp and looks in the mirror and piped up with 'and Lady looked in the mirror and said 'B*gger me I look a mess!'

LOL at 'f-ing ninky nonk'

MrsMattie · 12/12/2009 16:03

My DS went through a phase of saying 'oh, shit!' repeatedly after witnessing me stub my toe and screech it at the top of my voice. Some solid ignoring worked a treat and he stopped saying it within a week or so.

He once announced to his nursery teacher that it was 'pissing down outside'. Just shows, you really do have to watch what you say around toddlers

A friend once told me that the nursery teacher at her DC's nursery pulled her aside and said 'Unfortunately little 'Timmy' has used some bad language today. He said 'Oh, for fuck's sake'. Friend was mortified. Nursery teacher said (totally straight-faced) 'If it makes you feel better, he said it right after another child knocked over his tower of lego, so at least he is using it in context.' !!!

CatIsSleepy · 12/12/2009 16:17

dd1 went through a mini-phase of muttering 'fucking dinner' at a similar age-I actually have no idea where that came from as at the time i was being ultra careful about swearing

The worst thing dd1 says these days is 'oh. my. god.' like some kind of teenage valley girl

oh and when she says she wants to suck her thumb for some reason it comes out sounding like fuck her thumb which has me desperately shouting "SUCK DD1 SUCK your thumb". Her cousins thought this was terribly amusing...

MeringueUtan · 12/12/2009 17:59

I was thinking about this as i had a hilarious time int he local pissoir swimming pool.
If a teacher swore in a lesson all hell would break lose.
Yet swearing is seen largely on this thread as ok. Then i wondered if teachers are more skilled at using two diffo registers ALL the time ( hence the stress of the job - you are never just "you")

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