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Original poster

blanket attachment at 4!

49 replies

blackmonday · 08/12/2009 16:50

hi, my dd2 (4 years) is really attached to a large blanket she's had since a baby. She walks round with the label permanently attached to her nose (sniffing the label gives some sort of security, it has to be this label tho, i've tried others!) It's getting beyond a joke now. She will not leave the house without it. it has to come everywhere with us and is mostly dirty looking. I do wash it on the rare occassions i can part her from it. She is due to start school next year and i obviously need to sort this problem before then. She needs it to sleep and as i said has it with her ALL the time. Please help!!

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DLI · 08/12/2009 18:10

my ds (just turned six) has a similar thing, he has a towel which he sucks, although only when he is at home and we are trying to get it down to only when asleep, we did try bribery but it only worked for a while. if he hasn't got it he sucks his bed sheet.

Original poster
blackmonday · 08/12/2009 19:10

she is rarely without hers. i could tolerate it just for sleeping with but it has to come everywhere! is cold turkey the answer do you think?

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thisisyesterday · 08/12/2009 19:18

oh she's fine! security blankets are the exception to all rules IMO!

honestly, if she needs it she needs it, I am sure she won't want it forever.
I think you would be justified in saying that it has to stay at home (in case it gets lost?) or that if it comes out then you hyave to carry it in your bag, or she carries it in a little bag or something, so that she only has it if she is upset or something

but really, she'll give it up when she's ready

dinamum · 08/12/2009 19:20

Speaking as a Mum to a 15 year old who had a blanket from the age of 6 months! I would not worry about it. Actually at times it has been a great saviour of mine, when they are poorly or are having a bad time the blanket and cuddle with Mum is an instance cure to everything!!

Every family photo has the blanket in the background. However she gradually weaned herself off it and I noticed that if we went out she sometimes left it behind etc .However now she is 15(!) I noticed that she went to a sleep over and the blanket was left behind. I had said nothing she just decided that they time was right!

There was one embarrasing moment when she had to have a GA and was lying in the spotless preoperating theatre everyone was sterile I was made to wear a mask and a gown and she was clutching her grimey blanket! However when she came around in recovery everything was fine because the blanket was there!

I would say don't worry about it. If it gives her comfort what is wrong with that and she will not be taking it to stay the night at her boyfriends I promise!

dinamum · 08/12/2009 19:22

Re school my daughter did leave it behind after the first week or so but I had to take it with me to pick her up and she would snuffle it on the wlak home. Gradually she let me leave it at home but I let her dictate the timing. She did take it to school on the first day and it poked out of her pe bag!

PrettyCandles · 08/12/2009 19:25

Schools are used to coping with children overwhelmed by the new experience and missing their blankie/cuddly/dummy/whatever. Don't worry about it.

You might like to get this lovely book.

webwiz · 08/12/2009 19:26

DS was terrible - dragging his "night night" blanket everywhere with him. I think I gradually weaned him off it ie it came out with us but it was in a bag and then it started staying at home (all encouraged by some sort of bribery probably those little thomas trains that he was mad on).

He still had it at bedtime for years later and it is part of family folklore now. It lives on a shelf in his room now with "tatty teddy". He's 13 by the way.

mamasmissionimpossible · 08/12/2009 19:27

I had blanket attachment until I went to university think I am relatively sane

Original poster
blackmonday · 08/12/2009 20:23

ahhhh thanks. I think a bag for it might be a good idea. It always looks so grubby! i really can't imagine her not having it at all but i'd love to be able to leave it at home when we go out. I've lost count of the number of times it's been dropped in a muddy puddle whilst out and then it takes me ages to get it off her to wash. Think i'll relax a bit. Hopefully she'll be a little bit less attached by next september x

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Original poster
blackmonday · 08/12/2009 20:26

thanks for that book link. Looks perfect

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shonaspurtle · 08/12/2009 20:30

Ok, confession time. I had a raggy old flannelette (sp?) sheet which I took to bed with me until I was at least 12.

And it's no coincidence that I often, to this day, have brushed cotton pyjamas

Anyway, my mum was very firm about it not leaving the house after I was a toddler, and not having it outside my bedroom (except if I was ill or upset) after I was about five. And i soon twigged that it wasn't something to shout about so it didn't get dragged down the aisle with me on my wedding day as my dad used to predict...

navyeyelasH · 08/12/2009 20:39

I'm 26 and when I was a child I had a woody wood pecker with a tag on it. To this day I still need a tag to sleep!

I bet if yo get her some double sided satin ribbon it would be the same sort of tag?

In terms of weaning her off, at 4 she is old enough to understand it could get lost, so bribe her into letting you keep it in the house so it wont get lost. You may need to bring it with you at school collection time depending on how she copes.

hmmSleep · 08/12/2009 20:50

I've just had to confiscate my poor little 2 yr old ds's blanket on Dr's orders.

He's been having breathing problems and the Dr said blanket had to go, she said she didn't care how we got him off it, but that it was going to cause all kinds of problems so we needed to do it now

It has also given him an overbite, he constantly had it in his mouth.

We decided to go cold turkey, it was heartbreaking watching him wondering around like a little lost puppy whimpering 'cloth, cloth' to himself, and hearing him searching for it at bedtime was awful, nearly gave in and gave it him back on a number of occasions! Just had to remind myself it was for his own good. 5 days later he almost seems to have forgotten

Must admit though, if not for the health issues would probably never have taken it off him!

hmmSleep · 08/12/2009 20:55

Also, my dd, also starting school next yr but currently at playgroup, has a ted that she sniffs when in bed, upset etc. She used to take it everywhere but when she started playgroup at easter I told her they didn't allow teds, amazingly she accepted this and leaves him in the car or pushchair then is reunited when she comes out of playgroup.

Original poster
blackmonday · 08/12/2009 21:41

hmmSleep, what you've said about breathing problems has got me thinking. DD2 has frequent chest infections. She has not been diagnosed as asthmatic but is borderline. My DD1 has no such problems (but also no blanket attachment). I wonder if there is a connection? The problem with dd2 is that she is very, very strong willed. I've tried asking her to leave her blanket at home in case it gets lost, or if it's raining telling her it will get wet but she flatly refuses to leave the house without it.

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PfftTheMagicDragon · 08/12/2009 21:52

DS has one, and started school in September. If he is being clingy to the blanket, I let him walk with it to school but he leaves it with me.

NEVER EVER let it go into school. Once you do it once, they want it all the time. Make it a rule. I find that he accepts this as long as he has unrestricted access at home.

frakkinaroundthechristmastree · 08/12/2009 21:57

My brother had (still has) a 'silky bit' which was the edge of his cot blanket. He is 17....

My mother went through a phase of worrying until she figured out she could detatch the silky edge from the blanket and that he'll drop it when he gets a girlfriend.

navyeyelasH · 08/12/2009 22:03

hmmsleep when she is sniffing it does she also stroke it??

hmmSleep · 08/12/2009 22:06

Have yet to get a proper diagnosis but GP seemed to think there could be a connection.

Ds also refused to go anywhere without, we simply told him it had gone, I have now thrown it out, so I can't give in either!

Think I would have a harder time getting dd to part with ted longterm though, she used to have the biggest tantrums going anywhere without him. I was really suprised she agreed to go to playgroup without, perhaps it's because I put it that it was the school that didn't allow it, rather than me not letting her? She still takes it everywhere else.

My 2 were younger than your dd though, so maybe that helped. Hope you think of something, if not I know my sisters dc's school really didn't allow comforters etc, so it may well be taken out of you hands! And although my neice doesn't take her blanket to school she does still sleep with it, (age 8).

My sister got my nephew to give up his dummy by telling him the dummy fairy would come and take it and leave him a present, like the tooth fairy, that worked, but he's a laid back little thing anyway.

You could try leaving it under the tree for father christmas to take back to the north pole to keep him warm?

Having said all that (long, sorry) I actually miss seeing my little ds wandering aroung enjoying his 'cloth', think I miss it more than he does!

hmmSleep · 08/12/2009 22:09

navyeyelash . . .she doesn't stroke it, she sniffs his paw . . . says it smells like mushrooms . . . wierd!

VengefulKittyInTheManger · 08/12/2009 22:11

OK - I beat all of you

I am like frakkin's DS with a 'silky bit'....except I am nearly 29!!! Lives on my bed and in the evenings accompanies me to the living room. In fact I have it now

Have changed blanket three times on my life due to old ones falling apart. Was totally distraught!

Gawd, the things you admit to on MN!

hindsightisgreat · 08/12/2009 22:12

My DS (nearly 5) loves his 'blankie' and does exactly the same with his (sniffing/rubbing the label!).

His use to go everywhere aswell, heaven forbid if we ever went out without it! In fact on numerous occassions we had to turn round & go back to fetch it. Luckily we had two exactly the same so never really had an issue with keeping them relatively clean. And no, no other label would do - believe me!

When he started pre-school he use to take it with him but leave it in his bag & would just ask for it if he got tired/upset. I think just knowing it was in his bag was enough comfort for him TBH - but then he was only there for half day sessions.

He started school this September so a couple of months before hand we started telling him he couldn't take his blankie with him to 'big boy school' as 'big boys' don't need blankies during the day. Luckily this worked a treat & come September he happily trotted of to school without it (after kissing it goodbye, bless!).

He still has his blankie at home whenever he wants it, always takes it to bed with him & will still take it with him when we go out in the car (although he leaves it in the car rather than carry it around now).

I really don't have a problem with it & think it's nice that something so simple can give them such comfort. I'm just glad he has two blankies though as i can imagine what a pain it is trying to get one clean!!

VengefulKittyInTheManger · 08/12/2009 22:12

Sorry frakkin - not DS, meant brother!

SpawnChorus · 08/12/2009 22:14

My sister and brother recently had a spat about who owned the last shred of their Blankie. They are 31 and 27

Original poster
blackmonday · 08/12/2009 22:18

i'm really loving all these blanket stories. i've decided I'm going to get her a pretty little bag to carry the blanket around in when we go out, for now. I've got over 9 months to work on the school issue

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