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2.4 year old just said he doesnt like himself

16 replies

bumbly · 07/12/2009 18:34

said he does not like the pictures of himself in the house

OP posts:
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scorpioamo · 07/12/2009 18:43

Awwww did you ask him why??

tadjennyp · 07/12/2009 18:52

Poor little mite. Give him lots of cuddles and tell him why you think the photos are great - really cheeky smile, cute nose etc. Perhaps that will prompt him to tell you what he doesn't like?

pigletmania · 07/12/2009 19:51

That is sad at such young age that he has such a strong self concept, i am glad that my dd 2.9 does not have a clue and just enjoys playing and nursery. Would normally find that in an older child, does he go to nursery or pre school are the kids there ok towards him.

TotallyAndUtterlyPaninied · 07/12/2009 20:11

This has made me so sad I tell my little boy (18 mo) that he's 'beautiful', 'gorgeous' and that everyone loves him, every day. I also constantly compliment and kiss and cuddle him and tell him he's a clever boy. Do you do positive affirmations all the time? Is there perhaps someone else in his life who makes him feel bad about himself? Even an older sibling teasing him?

I am sure you can resolve it- you're clearly concerned.

bumbly · 08/12/2009 15:43

yes very concerned and yes goes to playgroups

only child

however he has been going through a phase where i have been discipliong him a lot and when he bit me very badly recently told him his toys/santa were not impressed

so i think there perhpas is an elelment of knowing he is the wrong and seeing it when he sees himself...rather than a physical thing though he does mention his physique a lot too

most odd

he def says it a lot re seeing himself in mirror and pictures

and i always tell him he is beautiful all the time

but he is very clever for his age

still...very concerned at the mo!

OP posts:
smileyboy · 10/12/2009 09:14

I don't want to trivialise what you are feeling as you are obviously very concerned but I really wouldn't worry too much. D as others suggest and compliment him and the pictures a lot but don't panic. My ds is 2.4 and will ofte nsay he doesn't like something just for attention or sometimes just to show he has an opinion. He often says 'I just don't like you mummy, I love you' and 'Id on't like that song' etc but then he'll ask you to sing him it 2 seconds later. I think at this age they say a lot just for a reaction or just for the sake of talking. I could be wrong but it doesn't sound like something to worry about. He has no concept of self image of loving/ disliking himself etc, his feeling and emotions will change on a minute by minute basis if he's anything like my ds anyway!

bumbly · 10/12/2009 21:53

thanks for that

really mean it!

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Fruitysunshine · 10/12/2009 21:55

Something I work by is that for as much discipline I may give out in a day for any of our kids I always give much more love back in the same day.......

I have this thing about them remember the day as good and not having anything on their minds when they go to sleep, i.e. feeling bad.

You are clearly worried about him.......just try giving him even MORE hugs than you are lately to see if that makes him feel more secure about himself.

RockBird · 10/12/2009 22:02

Oh goodness Fruity, I wish I hadn't just read that. I gave dd (23 months) a bollocking today because she darted off in a car park. Luckily it was a quiet church car park with parked but no moving cars but I tore strips off her. I had to as she must learn how dangerous that is but even so, I can still see her shocked little face as I was strapping her into the car

Hope she's not dreaming of that now Like the sentiment though, must make tomorrow a cuddly happy day.

Sorry OP, got sidetracked then. I can only echo what everyone else said. Try not to worry too much, keep emphasising the positives and lots of hugs, which I'm sure you're doing anyway. I also think he's too young to have any real sense of self beyond basic wants and likes.

Fruitysunshine · 10/12/2009 22:07

Sorry Rockbird!

enjoy your special cuddly day tomorrow with DD.

mumtofour · 10/12/2009 22:14

It is understandable that you are concerned about what he has said but try to remember that he is so young and would not understand the implications of his words. Often as adults we forget that sometimes the language does not always reflect the level of understanding. He is just learning to develop his language and will hear many things said around him in different environments and sometimes put these into his vocabulary. I wouldn't worry yourself too much or read too deeply into it unless obviously as time passess he still keeps doing it.

JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 10/12/2009 22:21

my ds is 2.4, and not very verbal yet. I tell him every day that I love him, and daddy loves him, and he's gorgeous and clever and funny etc - but sometimes when I say "mummy loves you" he'll very firmly say "no." He always says no when we ask if he loves us, but we think that's just for effect as he's usually got a cheeky grin on! I call him a meanie.

I'm not sure why your little boy is saying he doesn't want pictures of himself around but I wouldn't read too much into it at this age - any time they say something random which gets an interesting reaction they're bound to say it again, they just feed off attention. He's probably just pushing your buttons. Mine likes to say he's had no fun at playgroup, with a sad face on. When I've seen him moments earlier through the window running round like a loony having fun with the other kids!

lilacpink · 10/12/2009 22:29

I tell my DD (3.5) that I always love her, but don't like her behaviour when she's naughty. I started to tell her this when she was 2 (but in simpler terms). We also have a cuddle and 'make friends' after I've told her off and she's said sorry. This has helped her to understand that being told-off doens't mean I see her as always being 'bad'. Funny thing now is that if I'm tired and show it (e.g. drop something and get fed-up), she says "Mummy, I always love you, but don't like your behaviour"! Then I can admit I'm not perfect and get fed-up too. May be worth a try, not completely sure if it relates in your case, but hope it helps.

bumbly · 11/12/2009 20:44

thanks though just lost it today after incessant winging!

feel so bad

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lilacpink · 11/12/2009 22:46

I think DCs have to learn everything, and unfortunately this includes whinging! My DD (3.5) has just passed a long phase of moaning about being tired if I ask to get/do anything, while then running around to do what she wants. Arghh!!

Forgive yourself for showing anger - remember DCs need to learn that people get angry and then calm down again too . Sorry if that sounds flippant, I worry about being too moody with DD all the time, then realise she doesn't worry about it at all.

MavisEnderby · 11/12/2009 23:07

I think you are overthinking this slightly.I am sure your dc doesn't hate himself really.he is 2.4!

Children come out with such stuff sometimes.

ds (albeit older) told me he didn't like me today.The reason?I wouldn't let him have chocolate at breakfastime!

At 2.4 I doubt that he could really conceptualise the idea of self hatred.He maybe just doesn't like the look of that particular picture in his own particular 2 year old way.H eis exploring his world.You are doing nothing wrong.Sometimes giving children boundaries (It sounds like you have guilt about disciplining re the biting,is to my mind the mark of being a RESPONSIBLE parent)A lot of people may disagree and there are many parenting styles,but reallly imo he is just "being 2" and sometimes there IS no rhyme and reason!As long as you give praise for the good as well I can't see that you are doing anything wrong

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