I would really appreciate some advice on how to approach a problem with my four year old daughter, who is a lovely, affectionate and bright little girl.
We have a second baby, who is almost six months old. Initially, my elder daughter was very keen on the baby (very "in her face") but over the last few weeks she has become very jealous.
We did everything I could think of to prepare her for becoming a big sister; bought "A Baby for Grace" on recommendation of mumsnetters, made sure she had plenty of quality 1:1 time with each of us before and after the baby was born. We even held a huge birthday party for her when the baby was a few days old, we wanted to show her how special she is.
We have involved her in baby care and every night they are bathed together before one of us takes each of the children (alternating each night). She has about an hour of 1:1 time with one of us every evening.
Just recently I noticed she was trying to prevent me from speaking to or interacting with her little sister. For example, if I talk to the baby, she will stand in between us so I can no longer see her.
When I asked her to move out of the way so I could at least see the baby, she went off and sulked behind a chair. Eventully she came out and told me she was feelign jealous because the baby "gets more talking time" than she does (absolutely not true). She can't understan why the baby never gets told off.
She has also become more and more demanding at weekends, constantly asking us to play with her, which we do. However, we are beginning to feel as though we are being "held hostage" as we spend all weekend dealing with her needs, usually at the expense of the baby. On Saturdays she goes to ballet with her dad and as soon as she gets home she comandeers one of us to do arts and crafts at the kitchen table and might spend the whole afternoon demanding that we engage in make believe play. TBH we are both feeling completely exhausted by her and have absolutely no time for ourselves or each other. Weekends have become a real ordeal.
I am finding it hard to know how to deal with this. When I talk and play with the baby, I can feel her looking on with jealousy. I know it's daft, but it makes me feel really guilty. Also, she's four and she's still learning right from wrong so she gets told off for things. I'm finding it hard to tell her off since she mentioned how the baby "never gets told off".
I suppose the attention we give her at weekends is to make up for the fact that she now has to share us with her baby sister. I'm wondering though whether it's all gone too far. Perhaps we are giving her too much attention.
Apologies for long rambling post but would appreciate thoughts from anyone who's been through something similar.