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Behaviour/development

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5 yo having "accidents" in the day

2 replies

dingdong05 · 06/12/2009 22:22

he has been potty trained for nearly 3 years, and knows full well how and when to go to the loo. he has had 1 accident at school, but the real problem is at home. he is having at least 1 accident a day, most days. i didn't do anything to a long time, only reassuring him, and coaching him on listening to what his body is telling him. i eventually decided to apply a sanction when he had an accident- going to bed straight after bath (usually less than 1/2hr early), it's something he hates but i couldn't think of anything else, i just couldn't carry on. it's not the washing or mopping up that worries me, it's a skill he has to develop. I fear for him in a social setting if he gets known for it.

i must stress that there is no physical reason for this! he can control himself very well, too well in fact. he pushes the pee back over and over (I see him jumping about) until he can't control it. i tell him to go, but he insists he doesn't need. perhaps i should frogmarch him through?

i really don't know what to do for the best. obv i don't want him to get a complex, but he needs to go to the loo!

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CirrhosisByTheSea · 06/12/2009 23:20

Since it's only at home he's doing this, I would take the pressure off you and him and not worry that you have to punish this in order for him not to get 'known' for this.

I would a) take him to the Dr to rule out some sort of urine infection and b) ignore accidents completely.

Yes he does have to develop this skill but in my opinion it's something that he will stop doing in his own time. As a normal healthy child it's highly unlikely to continue past the early years...It's also not that uncommon, I've heard of a good few kids around this age (and read threads on here!) having this sort of issue. Never read a thread about a 7, 8 or 9 year old doing it......

dingdong05 · 07/12/2009 13:04

Thanks for that. He has been tested for infections and is fine, although he does get a touch of thrush at times, which i think is exacerbated by wearing wet pants.
I thought as you did to begin with, and ignored it for months and months... and i really don't want to sanction him for something he's not developmentally ready to do, but I think he is ready, he knows what to do, and his body is telling him but he doesn't want to miss whatever is happening at the time so puts it off- until he can't put it off any longer.
Ach, I know we are all guilty of that, I can't count the number of times I've got to my own front door and realised I was bursting
Maybe I will lift the sanctions and start frogmarching him when he starts to boogie.

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