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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Suddenly favouring daddy

8 replies

Bighair1 · 06/12/2009 19:10

I have a baby girl of nearly 11 months who, in the past month, has changed from being besotted with both mummy and daddy to becoming a little distant from me, and favouring daddy. It's a subtle shift-she hasn't rejected me-but I feel that I have lost the closeness we had and I'm at a loss as to what to do. Nothing has changed at home or in her routine.

Any advice or experiences gratefully received.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Happymummyof3 · 06/12/2009 19:16

I had this with my eldest she was a little older than 11 months when she started doing it but i read an article which explains that babies understand that they have 2 parents and try to work out the differences between these 2 and what they offer and the way they do this is to distance themselves from 1 whilst they establish the role of the other and then do the same to the other parent.
It does make sense I suppose. hope this helps a little.

ememum · 06/12/2009 23:21

I really hope the post from happymummyof3 is true. I am in a similar situation, my dd always reaches to dh when I try to pick her up and trys to push me away when all 3 of us cuddle. She's affectionate with me when we're alone, but it can be really demoralising having her favour her father so much. Having to pretend not to mind doesn't help either.

FernieB · 07/12/2009 10:15

It must be difficult but it won't always be like that. Kids go through so many phases, this will just be another one that will eventually pass and then you'll forget it. In the meantime, enjoy having a bit of time to yourself while your little ones attach themselves to Daddy.

PerArduaAdSolInvictus · 07/12/2009 10:23

Same happened to me at about a year. Was particularly gutting as I was with him 4 days fulltime, and DH only at weekends when he wasn't playing football (Sat pm and Sun am).

DH told me not to be silly as I sobbed...

And then got really snotty the next year when DS flipped back to me.

It's just something they do, and is absolutely no reflection on your parenting. You just have to grin and bear it

Oblomov · 07/12/2009 10:57

Both my boys are daddy's boys - aged 5 and 1. Doesn't bother me. I love it. I know they both love me. You need to look deep in, to work out why this is bothering you.

victoriascrumptious · 07/12/2009 12:33

My dd (16months) has been favouring daddy for the past week. She's been ill so i'm not sure if that has something to do with it. Generally she flits back and forth between us but can't bear it if dh hugs me and tries to push me away

IQuibbleThereforeIAm · 09/12/2009 10:26

I posted something very similar 6 months ago. DD went through a phase when it was all Daddy and I was chopped liver! If Daddy hugged me she wanted him to pick her up, then pushed me away from him!

I was devastated about it.

It really is just a phase though, she has tipped back the other way now and when she is really upset only Mummy will do.

Sympathy, I know it is really upsetting. It's nothing you are doing wrong.

BellasSparklyBaubles · 09/12/2009 11:36

It's a perfectly normal stage of development:

here

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