I wish dd would reply when people say hello

[MaMight]

My dd is 3.5. She is not particularly shy and has no reason not to be polite or friendly. We live outside UK and over here it is normal to smile and say hello everywhere we go. Dh and I are smily, hello-y people.

Dd blanks everyone.

I'm talking about people in shops, our cleaner, parents of her friends, staff at nursery, my friends who she sees often.

Actually, this is an improvement on a couple of months ago when she blew loud raspberries in reply .

Sometimes I think well, she's only 3. Social interaction is hard to learn and she's getting there. No biggie.

Other times I think nnnngggggg!!! Can she not just SMILE and say a cheerful "hello"? She is perfectly capable, she just doesn't want to.

It is awkward that she doesn't.

Is 3.5 old enough to jolly well be polite and answer up when someone says hello?

I never put any pressure or make a big deal other than gentle encouragement and move on.

Anyone have an opinion?

ds is the same, bit better now he's 4.

its just a phase,i think they feel kinda pressured by it and not know what to say. I wouldnt worry about it, too much. however, i understand it feels a bit embarassing for you, but if they know kids they'll understand (IYSWIM)

well at least she doesn't roll her eyes and say "what do you want?" if anyone looks at her. You've got that to look forward to in about erm......12 years time!

I'd stick with the gentle encouragement and the setting of a good example.
Ds is the same age and generally very outgoing, saying hi to everyone, but he does blank people sometimes. I always say to him to say hello, but try not to make a big deal of it. SOmetimes wee ones just comem over a bit shy and if you and your dh are friendly, she'll get there in her own time.

My DD is 12 and I have to nudge her when people say hello. She has improved over the last couple of years.

My ds (4.5) has only just started coming out of this. He still won't say hello to our lovely cleaning lady when she arrives but if he's here when she is (i.e. during half-term) he warms up almost immediately and they have a great laugh. Even before he started school I'd go round Asda with him and half the kids in there were like "hello [ds]" and he'd never reply. I just got used to replying for him. In the last few weeks, when I've walked him home from school he's amazed me by giving a really strong "hello" to whoever says hello to him, even from the other side of the road and stuff, even though then when I say "ds, who is that?" he says "well I don't really know". LOL.

She probably doesn't do it because she knows that's what's expected - I don't mean in a bad way but that's exactly what my ds is like. I would just chillax and let her come to it in time.

I wonder if there is a book or something about saying hello.

I really do think it is important.

But you're all right, she is young enough to still be learning at the moment.

I wish I could find a better way of encouraging her. Encouragement doesn't really work because she is a contrary little thing (like most 3-yr-olds) and if she knows I want her to say hello she will do the opposite.

Also, although I don't make a big deal out of it, other people do. It is expected that children speak up and return greetings here and when she doesn't she is often taken to task about it.

I wonder if role play would help? We could role play arriving at nursery and saying hello to people.