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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

How do I wean an almost-two-year-old of a dummy?

35 replies

somethinganything · 05/12/2009 14:51

DD has got used to having a dummy at nighttime and at nap-time to get her to sleep. Saw the dentist yesterday who lectured me about how bad it is for tooth development and told me to go cold turkey. Have another baby due in Feb and DD is already going to have to adapt to a lot of change before then. New bedroom, cot to bed etc all about a month before the baby arrives so I don't want to add any extra stress. So I guess I either have to wait another six months or do it right now - and presumably the longer I leave it the harder it gets. It's just such a useful way of getting her back to sleep if she wakes up, I just dread not having it in my armoury (so to speak).

Any tips on how others have done this much appreciated?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

nancy75 · 05/12/2009 14:53

start telling her today about how if you wrap the dummy up and give it to father xmas he will leave her an extra present, then on xmas eve make a big deal of putting it in a box and leaving it out for him, them put a thank you for the dummy note on a present.
we did this with dd (used the dummy fairy as it was summer) she never asked for it again.

Original poster

somethinganything · 05/12/2009 15:02

Thanks Nancy - I like the idea of that but I"m just not sure she's old enough to understand the concept. We've mentioned Father Christmas a few times but she's not taken any particular interest - Christmas Day is also her 2nd birthday so perhaps she's just a bit confused about so many things happening on the same day! Still, will try raising the idea and see how she reacts

OP posts:

SantasKinkyKnickers0nMaHead · 05/12/2009 15:04

Just take it off of her and get shut of it and endure the couple of weeks days upset.

asuwere · 05/12/2009 15:08

have you tried just not giving her it? DS3 ended up with a dummy from about 8months (long story) he was obsessed with it and I thought it was going to be awful to get rid of it. He was just having it bedtime/naptime but one night, I just hid them and didn't offer him one. He did ask but I just told him 'all gone' - it took him about 30mins to finally fall asleep then he slept all night! no middle of the night trying to find a dummy! It was a lot easier than I ever though!

(Much easier than trying to get DS1 to stop sucking his thumb!)

asuwere · 05/12/2009 15:08

knickers said it much more concisely than I did

Original poster

somethinganything · 05/12/2009 15:18

Yes, was hoping there would be a magic solution but I guess cold turkey it is - appreciate the honesty! She does always ask for it both at naptime and at nighttime so I know there'll be a lot of tears involved. Just feel mean depriving her of something she gets such comfort from.

Having said that asuwere that's a really good point re not waking in the night looking for it. She only started having it at night after a summer holiday where she was struggling to sleep in a strange place (before it was just for nap times) and she's far more likely to wake at night since then so maybe in the long run it's for the best. We've got really noisy building work going on in the house at the moment so I might leave it until things are a bit quieter then bite the bullet

OP posts:

moaningminniewhingesagain · 05/12/2009 20:51

I weaned DD off the dummy at about the same age, and had her brother a month or two later.

He is almost 1 now and she still takes his dummy off him as often as she can

She knows she doesn't have a dummy anymore but blimey she still wants one. I just take it away every time, say it needs washing and don't give it back.

Littlemissmuppet · 05/12/2009 21:43

I went through the same stressing about this, but when I finally went ahead with it DD was absolutely fine. Yes, she asked for it, and yes there were a few tears, but we bought her a new little teddy to cuddle, and to be completely honest with you, it took maybe two nights and she was fine (not to mean she woke up during the night, but literally when she was put to bed the first two nights she had a little moan, but went off to sleep within half and hour and day 3 three she didn't even ask!). Every now and then she says "Mummy, I don't need a dummy cos I'm a big girl!"

ChilloHippi · 05/12/2009 21:51

Ds was two exactly when we took his away. We told him that he was a big boy and didn't need it any more. The health visitor told us to expect two weeks to hell at bedtime, but thankfully it was just two nights.

HSMM · 05/12/2009 21:54

Cold turkey worked for me. I had to throw every last dummy away, or I know I would have given in. She moaned and groaned a bit (2 or 3 days), but was absolutely fine. She still asked for it for ages afterwards, but knew they had all gone.

Bookswapper · 05/12/2009 22:00

My dentist told me that dummies are not so much of a problem for tooth development as previously thought. The shape of your jaw has much more influence.

I'm not so sure on this.

However he did say that if you took dummies away too early the baby just substitutes with a thumb.

I am sure he was right on this.

lisad123wantsherquoteinDM · 05/12/2009 22:03

we use a dummy box with dd2. She has it by her bed and gets thats where dummies live. She only takes out for sleeps and puts back when she wakes (shes 2 btw) What we will do when she is slightly older is explain that other babies need the dummy and put a little pressie in the box. Worked for dd1
HTH

Original poster

somethinganything · 05/12/2009 22:44

Thanks, all - really helpful to hear what has/hasn't worked for everyone else.

Still a bit nervous about it because in the next 2 and a half months I have to:

wean her off dummy
move her out of cot and into bed (which can only be done the month before next DC is due)
move her into a new room (as above)
introduce a tiny, noisy sibling

But really comforted by the people who've said it only took a couple of days. So thanks again for the feedback

OP posts:

pigletmania · 06/12/2009 21:59

OOOh i have just done this with dd 2.9. On Friday i told her that she is a big girl now and that santa was coming to take her dummies away and give her presents, i took her dummy cut it up and did not give it to her. I thought that it was going to be very bad, but at the moment it has not been all too bad. The first night she kept waking up and not settling properly, on Sat she did not ask for dummy during the day but at night asked for it, i said no santa has got them and will give you lovely presents at Christmas, lovely long restful night, Sunday did not ask for dummy, did now but i kept repeating the same thing, so hopefully she will forget about them.

Original poster

somethinganything · 06/12/2009 22:39

Thanks piglet - there's hope then!

OP posts:

MistressIggi · 06/12/2009 22:44

My cross face is for the advice we have to sift through about our children. Last time I was at the dentist, he said he was pleased to see DS (2) with a dummy, as much better than thumb-sucking. I try to limit it to bedtime (and stressful times like the dentist!) but have decided not to sweat too much that he still likes it.

PotPourri · 06/12/2009 22:46

Send off to santa claus for babies. That has worked for my nephew...

WickedWitchSouthWest · 06/12/2009 22:47

Ah this is the anti dummy brigade is it?

I'm sorry but I was going to say leave her be. She has alot of other changes coming up in her little world, why remove a source of comfort? She's 2 fgs, a baby still.

My dd (3.5) still has hers at bedtime, our dentist said it makes absolutely no difference, as long as she doesn't have it when she's 7 and the adult teeth come through, which is not likely.

aristocat · 06/12/2009 23:08

my DD used to bite hers(so i used quite a few) and then Mothercare discontinued it so i had to go cold turkey.

bought a few different ones - which she didnt like!! so then i explained that mummy couldnt buy them anymore and to my amazement she just accepted it. we had a few cries / tears but it honestly was fine.

agree with some others, send it to samta and tell her shes a big girl now

pispirispis · 07/12/2009 08:55

Oh FFS would these experts ever make up their minds!

PrincessToadstool · 07/12/2009 08:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pigletmania · 07/12/2009 09:04

Thats ok, last night dd had a bit of an unsettled night, just whining and not setteling no loud crying thankgoodness, i think that it will get better once the week progresses. It has to be done sometime IMO she is nearly 3 good luck with it, i am expecting my dc in July so at least i have some time but i really dont want her to still have them once baby is born.

pigletmania · 07/12/2009 09:10

No not the anti dummy brigade at all just think that there is a point in which they will have to let it go eventually, i will not stop giving her bottle though full of milk at nap and bedtimes. I personally did notice my dds teeth were slighlty arched as she used to use the dummy a lot. I think that as dd is nearly 3 she has to let it go really, she does understand about santa and brining presents but not too much detail. The crunch came really at mums and babies, she howled for the dummy and was the only one there apart from a young baby with one , i knew that she had to let it go and is doing better than i thought.

Naetha · 07/12/2009 09:37

DS is nearly 2 and has a dummy for sleeping. DD was born a week ago, and I'm glad he still has his dummy as I dread to think how he would have settled himself to sleep over the past week with all the upheaval and emotional chaos going on.

Especially if your DD has yet to move rooms and beds give her one constant she can hang on to.

I don't think another 3 months will make a difference, but that's just my opinion.

StarExpat · 07/12/2009 09:45

I know it's different because she is nearly a year older, but DS needed his dummy to get back to sleep for a while. I was sick at the thought of taking it away because I thought we'd never get any sleep again.
There was a bit of crying the first night, but then one day, he was just about 12 months, we just took them all out of sight, put them away and never gave him one again. He actually sleeps even better now without it. Of course, since she's older it will probably take a few days longer, but it won't last forever and she'll soon forget about it.

He's 14 months now so it's not been that long, but we moved the bookcase yesterday and there was one behind there. He got ecstatic to see it, squealing and laughing. Then he took it and played with it in his hands, and threw it on the floor. lol he couldn't remember what it was for, just remembered that he liked it! Of course we put it in the bin when he turned away.

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