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Original poster

17 month old touching everything.

37 replies

abitlostandconfused · 04/12/2009 23:18

I have the same conversation with him at least 30 times a day about him touching the remote controls, photograps and a little ornament thing I have. He just looks and laughs. This happens to both myself and my husband.

I've put up a couple of decorations. Some in the garden. You know those wooden things that say Santa Stop here and Happy Holidays. He just pulls them out of the garden, time and again despite saying no.

I am gutted as I don't think I can possibly put my tree up this year.

Do I just keep going with No - what am I doing wrong? Do they all do this? He knows what No is but just doesn't listen. Any tips.

OP posts:
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isittooearlyforgin · 04/12/2009 23:28

17 months is very young, I wouldn't panic, but put items higher up. Life is too short to argue with a 17 month old. He'll love it next year!!

3littlefrogs · 04/12/2009 23:33

He is a baby. He doesn't understand.

When they are under 3, (and sometimes for much longer) you have to put everything up high, well out of reach. He has no concept of certain things being "not for touching". He is behaving completely normally.

It sounds as if neither you, nor your husband, have any experience of small children. I think it would be a good idea to get some books about child development so that you have some knowledge of what to expect at different ages, and how to handle your ds. It will save you a lot of frustration.

Book shops and libraries are positively bursting with information. HTH

MegBusset · 04/12/2009 23:34

Yes, that's 17-month-olds for you! Put anything breakable out of reach, is all you can do.

Original poster
abitlostandconfused · 05/12/2009 01:15

Thanks everyone. I have some books but when he was younger they just made me feel like a nurotic freak who was bringing up a robot rather than a child. I may well dip in again.

I've asked friends about the christmas tree thing and other touching but they've all said 1 - 2 nos and everything was fine or they never touched in the first place. Just made me think I was doing something wrong.

OP posts:
Wallace · 05/12/2009 07:56

Keep things out of reach when possible, distract him when you can, and save "no" for really important things.

You can still have a tree but it won't look quite the same as it usually does - ours ends up bare on the bottom 4 feet

colditz · 05/12/2009 08:01

You shouldn't be having these sorts of conversations with a baby. Pick the stuff up and move it- they all do this. He is listening as much as a baby can listen.

colditz · 05/12/2009 08:02

I have found that every child who didn't touch anything ever, when ds1 was touching everything, has turned out to be not to bright at school

FiveGoMadonTheDanceFloor · 05/12/2009 08:02

My 17 month picks up everything too. It is what they do. Just take it out of his hand and put it out of reach.

JODIEwantsanewname · 05/12/2009 08:03

My 17th Month Old DS2 is into EVERYTHING! I've just chosen to pick my arguements, so everything moveable is now up high, or put away, and everything else he is slowly leaning not to mess! It's a long old process and soon he won't do it, and you'll forget what a PITA it all was. Enjoy him (and Christmas!!)

Wierdly, when DS1 was the same age (well he was 15 months over xmas) He was worse, but he never tried to touch the tree!!!!

JODIEwantsanewname · 05/12/2009 08:04

[waves at five!]

Besom · 05/12/2009 08:11

I have 18 mo dd. I don't have things in her reach in the living room that she could break.

What others have said is really important I think - if you're constantly saying 'no' to them they start ignoring you. 'Choose your battles' is a good phrase to remember.

I haven't quite thought through about the Christmas tree but I'll try to put it somewhere she can't get to it so easily. As long as she can't pull it over on herself. We didn't have one last year for various reasons and it isn't the end of the world either.

You're not doing anything 'wrong' - he's just being a normal 17 month old. You just need to find ways round it.

MaryMotherOfCheeses · 05/12/2009 08:11

Move what you can, and pick your battles carefully when you do say no. Pulling wooden things out is just him being curious, and it's not going to hurt. Focus on things like keeping him away from the cooker, perhaps, or something else which would actually be dangerous. Then when you do say no, you can say it with real confidence rather than risk sounding weak. He's more likely to take notice then.

Oh, and, stuff the books, MN is better

FiveGoMadInDorset · 05/12/2009 08:21

(waves back at JODIE)

CMOTdibbler · 05/12/2009 08:27

DS was a fiddler - some children aren't though. My colleague was all smug that his dd didn't fiddle 'oh, we just say no', then had a fiddle fingers ds...

ABetaDad · 05/12/2009 08:42

I think every new parent goes through this. Your entire life just needs to move upwards by about 75 cm.

DS1 ripped the little flap off the front of our TV just to look at the buttons underneath and destroyed several remotes.

We have friends who we visited with our then very young toddlers and they had beautiful china and glasswear everywhere in their house. Spent an entire weekend on edge.

Now our friends have a child themselves their china and glasswear is stored on high shelves and in locked cupboards.

He is just exploring and everything is interesting. Far better than him just sitting there passive not interested in anything. Then you really would be worried.

One thing we used to do was get all the pots and pans and stirring spoons, spatulas out of the cupboards and drawers for DS1 and he used to love it. Sit there for hours playing.

FrannyandZooey · 05/12/2009 08:49

oh yes no tree this year
we also have a 17 month old - aren't they fab?
do you want to spend your day saying "no" all the time and feeling cross? just move your ornaments etc, you can have them back in a year or so

tbh you do sound like you are not sure what you are doing - why can't the baby play with the remote control? do you spend much time with other parents? your friends sound like knobs if they all say "oh we just tell them not to touch and they don't"
my 17 month old doesn't do a ruddy thing i tell him to unless he wants to - that's life
they are programmed to touch and fiddle with everything, it's how they learn
just use distraction and humour - this is more or less the rule for the first 5 years or so
expecting obedience at this age, or at any time in the next few years, is setting yourself up for disappointment IMO! adjust your life to suit the child's age and get on with it - are you really "gutted" that you can't have your tree up for one year? be an adult and make life more pleasant for your child and yourself

GibbonInARibbon · 05/12/2009 08:59

Hello Franny! DS is 17 months

Gosh last time I 'saw' you on MN you were pregnant...wow time really does fly. Hope you are all well

apologies for that.

And yes at 17 months they have the most delightful desire to explore. It may always feel delightful to you but try not to get stressed, it does pass

I remember getting so stressed trying to keep DD away from the (not lit) fire, in the end I got a fire guard. Relief and peace all round

GibbonInARibbon · 05/12/2009 09:00

may not always feel delightful to you even

LaDiDaDi · 05/12/2009 09:03

I was really worried about putting up my tree when dd was 19 months. In the event she really wasn't that interested in it at all, or at least much less interested in it than she was in all of the other things that she wanted to touch iyswim.
So it might not be as bad as you think but whatever you do, tie it to the wall so it can't topple on him!

Poohbearsmom · 05/12/2009 09:45

You are expecting too much from him... This is soooo normal how else can they learn? He is still very young like others have said jus Make life easier & happier for ye all & move temptation out of his way... I think with our 1st we tend to think they r a bit 'older & wiser' then they actually are, sure he can now say 'yes' when you spend half an hr explaining why he shouldnt touch the photo's & ask if he understands but the vast majority will run off & play & 10min later be right back to the wonderfully interesting toy mummie wants to keep for herself its natural & a sign of his intelligence & curiousity be happy & proud of him he is not a 'houligan' tryin to trash your home he's a very little boy who is exploring his world

DaftApeth · 05/12/2009 11:22

Ds had his own remote control when he was going through his 'obsession with all things small and electronic stage'. It was from an old video player that we had binned.

He could press all the buttons, suck it, bash it and it didn't matter

With the christmas tree. Get a small one and put it up onto a table so he can't reach. Or only put the sturdy decs within reach.

As everyone else has said, don't give him lots of attention when he does it (othrewise he sees it as a game - hence why he laughs). Move his hand away, a simple 'no' and then distract distract distract . Long explanations at this age will not be understood and so, are useless.

weebump · 06/12/2009 00:30

I agree with most of what's been said: move precious ornaments and breakables out of the way completely, and anything else like remotes. But do let him have something to touch and play with - a little cupboard or shelf with things he can reach for himself when he wants them. Keep the stern 'NO!' for really dangerous things like cooker, fireplace and plugs/tvs, but don't keep at him all day as it looses impact. If he goes for something you don't want, like a remote, remove it and give him something he CAN play with.

Just how bad is playing with a wooden decoration? If it's dangerous, put it away so he can't pull it up. Otherwise, I'm afraid you have to put up with your little explorer.

BrightonMama · 07/12/2009 21:23

Had to laugh when you said you were having 'conversations' with a 17 month old! Maybe yours is more advanced than mine!

My nearly 19 month old DS also touches everything so I just put breakables somewhere he can't touch them, and try not to be too precious about things. I always think it's my fault if something gets broken, because I shouldn't have left it out.

IMoveTheStarsForNoOne · 07/12/2009 21:30

heh, DS was and still is like this (he's 2yo)

anything you don't want him to touch, put out of his reach, simples. He's FAR too young to understand reason - his urge to explore everything is just so much stronger than his understanding of why he shouldn't. Natural and essential stage of development.

Pick your battles - if he's into something that isn't breakable or dangerous, then let him - he's not going to do any harm. Save NO for the things you really don't want him to do, and just be consistent.

things just move up, more and more.

Just you wait til he starts climbing on chairs to get to high shelves

Adair · 07/12/2009 21:35

Hey there, I have a 17mth and a 3.5 yo. Yes, I had conversations with both at 17mths! They understand more than you think...

Dd would stop if I said 'leave it' but ds is a bit more normal determined. Think dd was pretty compliant - making up for it now aged 3 . I do find I yell NO and snatch him/things away for poor neglected second-born ds too often though .

What worked for dd, and is working (slowly) for ds when I do it (eg with our Christmas tree) is
a) distraction. "DSSSSS!!! elloooo, can you put your hands on your HEAd, yes YOUr HEAD (while doing it) ?YAaaayyyy, leave the fireplace alone... good BOY"
b) showing what you CAN DO. so ds, can you STROKE the baubles, look, aaahhhhh, aren't they beautiful, don't take them, STROKe aahhhhh'
c) very simple consequences. if you bang the fork again, I will take it away (if hey bang, take it away. wait a min. give it back. EAT with your fork, good boy)

And definitely putting those important things way up high!