How do you stop children squabbling?!

[wonderingwondering]

My two are driving me mad: age three and five and they are constantly bickering and squabbling, then one will shriek/tell tales.

They played really nicely together until recently. Any idea on how I can stop it?

They started bickering during their bedtime story tonight, and I was so fed up I stopped reading, put them both in their beds and left them to it. They are now crying upstairs. Surely there must be a better way of dealing with it?

Any ideas?

Anyone?

Mine are a bit older, but depending upon my mood and the situation, I

1. Break into song loudly

2. Tickle them (both distraction methods)

3)Send them each to their rooms

4. Do what you did

I have almost 6 and 2.5 yo dds. They squabble almost constantly. The one sure fire way to stop them is to unite them against me. i.e send them to their room. They then become the best of friends again and team up to think of ways they can 'get eevil mummy'

Otherwise I just turn up my ipod and leave them to it, unless it is clear they intend to cause each other serious harm

I think I would have just done what you did in your situation and would now be sat downstiars with my ipod and wine

mine do it to! 3 and 4.11 so almost the same.

Any of the 4 points above and try to wear them out so they are too tired to fight.

DH puts them in front of Computer and has set it to only do CBeebies website for them and eldest does this whilst youngest watches.

Other than that there is no solution!

Thanks. I feel a bit better about sticking them in their beds, but I'd had enough!

I try the distraction thing, but it's usually while I'm trying to get something done - dinner, tidying up - so it is difficult to intervene. I just want twenty minutes to cook their meal without the arguing.

I'll try the putting in room, I'd avoided that as I thought maybe I'd be over-reacting but they are driving me round the bend!!

If they fight over a toy I do my "this toy is very bad because it's making you both unhappy so I shall throw it in the bin" act and there will be wailing and gnashing of teeth and then they will play nicely again. Usually.

Or separate them.

I also sometimes do the "since I have to be here constantly to be the referee there shall be no cookies baked/dinner cooked etc" act which so far has worked so no one had to go without cookies/dinners.

I try the threatening to bin/take away the toy, which usually works. I'll try separating them.

But I just want them not to fight in the first place! Rather unrealistic, I know . Where have my two little cute children who played together so nicely gone?

Perhaps DS having started school has changed things.

Ah, good tactic. I tend to just get cross with them, but you are right, a bit of cause/effect does work with them in other circumstances. Another good idea for the list!

Mine are 2 & 3 and bicker a lot. I either ;

1. Sing loudly and awfully, lol
2. Naughty step/shout
3. Bribe, lately it's "Right I'm calling Santa"
4. Threat, I'm throwing all toys away etc ..

All depends on my mood. Today was singing loudly..

WonderingX2: starting school probably do have effect. My DS1 behaves nicely in school and takes it out on us when he gets home. So he says. Said "shall I behave nicely like I do in school" and I resisted temptation to say yes please and said instead that I should hope he knows how to behave in all situations... Perhaps should have just said yes please. But they need to let off steam somehow ... But fights have grown a lot less frequent these days so there is hope there!

If I try distraction, they ignore me and hang on my legs telling tales! They are better at distraction than I am... .

But these are all useful ideas, I just get so fed up with it I lose the ability to think about what's best to do. It is very wearing, and I've been on my own for a few weeks so worse than usual.

Physical separation for 30 minutes then a good run around outside usually cools everything down.

Sing, it is definitely partly tiredness and letting off steam for my five year old. He is a lovely boy, and I know (hope!) this phase will pass, but my 3 year old has just started talking really well, so I get the full version of events from both of them, and they are quite good at arguing too!

Watching thread with interest, mine are only 2.2 and 3.9 but they squabble all the time, normally when one has the audacity to touch a toy the other one likes the look off

I do the 'I'm going to throw it in the bin' thing or I bring out the lego/aquadraw/train track to distract them.
Until they start fighting over that

Yes, we need to tidy up the garden so they can get outside (DH been away so it is quite overgrown and soggy at the mo). Standing back from it, I can see why they are playing up. I agree a bit of fresh air does wonders! And I can always close the door if they are arguing in the garden

Any change of focus, so I whip out the play-doh/crayons or stick on a CD/read a story. They seem to find play-doh particularly absorbing at the moment. At cooking dinner time, I confess to letting CBeebies sedate them for half an hour.

At bedtime I often have to count to ten to stop myself doing what you did. They are often a bit hyper at bedtime and I get so wound up when they won't settle. I know that the right thing to do is to get them to sit down and listen to a story to calm them, but I'm tired too, so the temptation is to howl at them and put them to bed, which invariably leads to wailing and catastrophe. So I now leave the room for a few mins and silent scream in the bathroom before returning.

Thanks ME. I wasn't very pleased about dumping them in bed - I hate putting them to bed unhappy. I do usually try to be smiley and calm, but tonight it was just the last straw.

I feel better prepared with these ideas, and also, it is comforting to know that other people get driven mad by squabbling children too!