2 year old developing lots of fears

[laurielee]

Hi,

My otherwise happy and chatty 2.2 year old DS seems to be developing some seemingly irrational fears about things. It started when he got really terrified about bonfires, which is actually quite understandable, but he hasn't seen one for weeks now and is still telling me that he's frightened of them. He has also developed a fear of dogs, when he loved them a couple of months ago, if he sees a dog he can sometimes get quite hysterical and demands to be carried and really clings on to me.

A photographer recently visited his nursery and apparently he became really hysterical, although did calm down eventually. This was about 3 weeks ago and he is still saying to me 'Mummy, I don't like photographer'.

After being a brilliant sleeper for a long time (very lucky I know!) he has now started to wake up 1 or 2 times per night crying for me and saying that he is frightened of the fire/bear/dog, and some other things.

I was just wondering whether anyone else had any experience of this type of thing and how I should deal with it. I've tried talking to him about it, and most recently, ignoring it, as suggested by the nursery (who thought it could be attention seeking). But I can't ignore an obviously upset toddler who is telling me he's frightened in the middle of the night!

Any advice gratefully received.

Hopeful bump

my DS, now 5, had lots and lots of apparently silly fears when he was that young, too. From an even younger age (about 10 months old) he was terrified of a character on a Comfort fabric softener ad to the point where he would become hysterical.

Since then he has been scared of balls, dogs, cats, Numberjacks TV show, the sensor lights in our house (and still is scared of those), fireworks, balloons, to names but a few things.

I really think that it is just part of growing up - making sense of things and when they are too overwhelming, the child seeks comfort from their mother or father.

As far as I can remember, dreams and nightmares can also start becoming an issue for little ones of your age. And they are able to start talking about their dreams, too, so it seems that they are more of a problem now than before.

DS has outgrown most of the fears I listed above, but not all. If it reached a point that his fears hampered his expected development in any way, I would have sought professional help. But as things turned out, he became less and less scared of things as the months passed and how he even talks to me and DH about things that scared him when he was younger.

I gave DS lots of cuddles and comfort when he needed it - i personally don't think that ignoring it is the best strategy: how awful would it be if you were petrified of something and your Most Important Person just ignored it? I think that talking it through with your DS and not pushing it aside may be a better course of action.

I am sure that he will outgrow it.

good luck!

Thanks Numberfour, that's really helpful. It's so horrid seeing them so frightened about things, isn't it? I seem to remember having lots of irrational fears as a young child, as did my sister, so maybe the poor boy has inherited it from us!

yes, it is awful seeing a young child so frightened, I agree. The first time i noticed it, DS was in his high chair and the tv was on. I was in the kitchen when I heard him really scream. Somehow I managed to work out the the advert for Comfort fabric softener was on (the ad had a blue rag doll type "doctor" whose face suddenly appeared on the screen and it had piercing black eyes - soon got me frightened too!).

For months after that I dreaded having the tv on in case the ad was played. DS was at a childminder at that stage and I had to ask her to keep a check on the ads too, when she had the tv on. It was DREADFUL! I even wrote to the advertising authorities..... looking back i can understand why i received no reply!!! but being with DS when he became hysterical was no walk in the park.

if it does not get better with your LO, go and see your GP or HV. hopefully you will get one who listens!! (not that none of them do... just some are better at it than others!)

I read it's normal at that age and to give them lots of cuddles and help.

My ds1 was the same at that age (hes now 5). Things that he was previously quite happy with, he just suddenly became really scared of, some were completely irrational and it can be quite hard to understand why these things are scaring them. He did grow out some of them, but hes still not keen on the dark (quite understandable i feel) and still does not like my ornamental clown (he told me i had to bin it, but i have had it since i was small so no chance!). In fact the clown must be facing the wall at all times so that he is not 'watching' ds1!

I agree with Comma2, lots of hugs and i also found trying to get him to explain why it was upsetting him was helpful, though it can be hard depending on how articulate your wee one is. Its a stage they all go through, its just some are more frightened than others-dd went through it, just waiting for ds2 now!