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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

4 year old having accidents...

6 replies

bradbury342 · 29/11/2009 18:01

I've got the problem where my 4.5 year old son wont do a poo on the toilet?! he dont seem to mind doing it in his pants, and then wont tell me he's done it! He has no problem going to the toilet for a wee. Have tried talking toys away when he has an accident, and even tried sticker charts. Run out of ideas! Please help me?

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MollieO · 29/11/2009 18:03

Does he actually know that he's been? Ds had fetal incontinence at that age and didn't actually know.

Original poster

bradbury342 · 29/11/2009 18:05

he knows that he's done it, and he has had the odd poo on the toilet, that he's said about before it came

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MamanCochon · 29/11/2009 18:09

have a google for encopresis, might give you some ideas. Might also be an idea to take him to the doctors to check for constipation. Best not to punish him for accidents, he might not be able to control it.

leggybird · 30/11/2009 14:40

I'm having a similar prob with my 3 yr old. He has een dry (day and night) since last May but has never seemed to hae got the hang off pooing on the toilet! He can do it and has done previously. In fact, he did it last Thursday but on Friday we were back to pooing in his pants again. Ahhhh!
I have tried reward charts, making a fuss if he so much as looks at the loo, reading the riot act, ignoring it and I am seriously at a loss now. He starts nursery in January as I really want him to be sorted by then.

I googled encorpresis but I don't think it applying to Sam. He has a good varied diet, and is well aware that he has pood as he tells me afterwards!

I'm sorry I can't offer any help but I thought I'd post so you know you're not alone

Luxmum · 30/11/2009 16:08

Punishment wont work, or at least it didnt in my experience. I SERIOUSLY notched up DS1's juice intake, and make a holy song and dance if he went near the loo. Plus a jelly baby if he did a poo. That helped. It took the pressure off him, and it also showed him how the act of sitting gave his poo more room to come out..

leggybird · 02/12/2009 09:59

Luxmum, I went through a stage of leaving a bag of sweets on the window sill in the bathroom but that didn't help. He got a sweet for sitting on the loo but still poo'd in his pants But I do think that you're right about punishment not being the answer but I also feel that I can't ignore what he is doing because it's not right. Sigh!

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