telling others about DD's speech problems

[Mishee]

DD has developmental verbal dyspraxia, which means that, despite being just over 3, her speech is very poor (although improving by leaps and bounds due to being lucky enough to have weekly S&LT). When we meet other people, I feel that I should warn them she has speech problems before she speaks, so they will know her responses will not be clear and so they can listen more carefully, but I do not know if I am doing her a mis-service by doing so. They probably think I'm silly for praising her if they ask her name & she says it clearly enough for them to understand, but for us it's a HUGE achievement. Some thoughts please.

don't worry about what anyone else will think, tell them or not, they'll soon figure out how to relate to her if they're someone she's likely to talk to regularly. if something is an acheivement for you and your daughter then of course you should praise her for it! every child is different just as every adult is. you should never feel silly for going with your gut reaction, especially if it is one fuelled by love! good luck

hi, my 3.8yo also has verbal dyspraxia. he has also improved massively recently, but others still find it difficult to understand him. i end up repeating most of what he says certainly at the beginning.

i don't really know the answer to your question, perhaps depends on the situation. i certainly don't want my ds to be 'shy' or feel inhibited to talk, he has enough issues with strangers or new situations! but i do sometimes tell people.

Thanks for those comments. I work in a school nursery, and sometimes dd comes in if I pop in on day off, for school fetes etc. This means the parents of ch in my class will talk to her and am sure they are thinking 'Oh, what's wrong with her?' & that if I said 'This is Sally, she has speech problems' it might make the situation easier on everyone. Or am I 'putting her down'?

My 4 year old also has speech probs but more of a late talker than verbal dypraxia (we are currently waiting for his 1st s&lt session) and I also feel the need to repeat what he has just said but feel embarrassed on his behalf about doing it!
The worst moment was recently when his grandma couldn't understand him 'cos she hadn't seen him for 3 months! She started pulling faces and all sorts

Perhaps just repeat what she has said so she knows that she is understood and those around you can "tune in" to her speech patterns.

To be honest you should do whatever makes her feel more confident.

DS has verbal dyspraxia but he does not care if I tell other people so I tell. It makes them try harder to understand him and stops them saying anything inappropriate.
I have also though repeated what he was trying to say back to him ( so thatthe other person can hear it) and praised his effort. People 'get' that really quickly. So I may have said " thats great pagboy - you said I want a biscuit please really clearly to grandma. That is really hard to say - well done'

But do bear in mind that explaining that she has some technical difficulties with speech is NOT 'putting her down'.
Her speech issues are not a negative thing any more than having an allergy or having difficulties with balance or having dyslexia.

You should make sure that you are not viewing it in negative terms before you let her pick up on that subtle message

You do what you need to do for her. Don't worry about anyone else. TBH it's not at all abnormal for a non-family member to be baffled by a three year old's babblings - ds2 has no speech problems but people still sometimes don't catch what he says, and he'll be 4 in April.

I'm an slt, not a parent of a child with speech/language difficulties.

My only worry with introducing your daughter and always telling people that she has speech difficulties is to be careful that the verbal dyspraxia does not 'define her', iyswim.

I would play it by ear in each situation. As many people have said, lots of children the same age have difficulties pronouncing things and so, it is expected that parents/carers have to translate what has been said by them- I still have to translate for both of mine, on occasion.

Continue giving her praise too. It's great to give her confidence in communicating and that is very important for the future

My ds had some speech problems between 2.5 and 3.

I would forwarn people ahead of any meetings where I could so that could be patient and not finish sentences etc for him or get him to hurry up etc.. It was very apparent as it could take him up to a minute to say the word 'I' and we did get alot of looks.

Couldn't forwarn everyone but he seemed to be more comfortable around people adults who wouldn't rush him.

I used to really stress about this - DD1 is 4 has severe verbal dyspraxia - until I realised that a lot of 3 -4 year olds who have no S & L difficulty don't speak to strangers either

I have always been very conscious of not saying anything negative about speech in front of DD. Yes, sometimes, I have to repeat things so people will understand and I do have to say her name for her as its got 4 syllables and she probably won't be able to say it for another year or so . What I will say in front of her is things like "dd is going to x school because she needs some help with talking and she's learning really well" - DD knows this is true as we have discussd why she is not going to the local school. She is very aware she has a problem, though we have never put like that,but rather said there are some things that she needs extra help with IYSWIM

As others have said, you have to do what gives your DD the most confidence. The more people who know she has a difficulty, the better, but maybe starting a conversation about Verbal Dyspraxia in front of your DC is not the best way. I tend to go into longer explanations when I can get other parents out of the DCS earshot - it can be surprising how understanding people are sometimes

Hi,

Just seen that your children have verbal dyspraxia and wondered if you are aware of the policy review going on for what services should be provided for kids with verbal dyspraxia. My boy has verbal dyspraxai and I was shocked by how little of the right therapy was available compared with what it is that these children need to progress. If you are interested in being involved John Levy's contact details and the details of the meeting are below.

--

Advance notice for 24 November 1400 to 1700 hours in London

Pencil it in your diary and confirm to the e-mail below.

Are you able to influence the direction of potential service delivery and commissioning for DVD?

The London Specialised Commissioning Group has been involved in developing the Pathfinder Pilot around services for children with DVD (Developmental Verbal Dyspraxia). As places at this stakeholder event will be limited please register your interest and further details will follow.

We are seeking a range of views and this invitation is extended to you in order that you can both participate and have your views heard. Further details can be obtained from;

John Levy (Project Lead for LSCG)

Mobile 07974 440969

e-mail ? [email protected]

Independent Consultant to Health, Justice & Social Care e-mail [email protected] web www.kiwiconsultancyltd.com

I think it depends on the situation and how you think someone will react to you telling them. My DD has co-ordination problems (which also affects her speech) and I'm never sure whether to say something before it becomes obvious or she falls over or something

I just find it takes a while to explain things and some people will (as DaftApeth says) 'define' her by her problems.

My DD is four and has little understandable speech to others who don't know her well. We use a bit of makaton signing which has helped as much of it is fairly obvious even to people who aren't used to it.

Idon't really know the answer when it comes to explaining. Sometimes I say sha has some delays. Or I do what others have said and sort of repeat it back if she does answer people(sometimes I think people must be thinking I am very ott doing this it is almost habit now even when she says something more clearly).

I worry about her confidence too especialy as I often have to say even to my parents and her dad "did you understand what she said-she said ..." but I feel its worse if people just pretend to understand her when they don't. My good friends often say did she say ... which I think is nice as they are taking an interest.

I have discussed it with my 4 year old and other children, that his words get stuck, but that he has them in his head and knows what he wants to say - I got the idea from this book which I think was very good(apart from bit where they talk about the child being bullied - annoying that they had to put that in! www.amazon.com/Brother-Very-Special-Amy-May/dp/1412034590/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1292012289&sr=8-1) - after he read it, he explained to a little girl the other day who asked why he sounded funny, that his words got stuck, but that he had them in his head.

My DD is 4 and can 't speak. I never ever say anything to anyone in frnt of her about her having any SN. i just think they should take her as they find her and I don't really care what others think, if they are being judgemental.

I have sometimes said she is shy, if strangers remark on her not speaking, but that is really because I don't want to embarrass THEM.

Could someone please tell me what is the difference between a speech delay and dyspraxia?

I've just done a search online and plenty of material. Sorry about my ignorance. I will find out on my own!

with dyspraxia, the speech doesn't develop in normal pattern. Even though you know what you want to say, you can't make your mouth do it - and even once you 'find' a sound, it can disappear again, so you can work on a sound for months or years, even though they first said it ages before. Is a problem with co-ordinating and sequencing. For our boy nothing really just came, each sound has to be learnt.