I feel like such a failure - toddler eating issues(longish)

[sazlocks]

My DS is 22 months and eating feels like its always been an issue. He was exc BF til 13 months and weaned at 6 ish months. Mixture of soft foods and finger foods. He is on the low side weight wise but has maintained steady weight gain since birth. He developed constipation when he stopped BFeeding but this has been successfully managed with Movicol and some dietary changes since we found out.
I think I had this idea that at this stage we would sit round the table as a family and all be eating the same foods. It feels like we are light years away from that. Every meal starts with no, no, no and the list of things he will eat seems to be getting shorter and shorter. I try hard to make no comment if he chooses not to eat and I don't withhold a pudding or treat it as a reward if he has eaten something savoury first.
Today he has eaten a weetabix with dried fruit and milk, an omelette with cheese, a satsuma, a yoghurt, a babybel cheese and my DH is downstairs with him now trying a stew but with little success.
All I seem to hear from other parents is the huge amount and variety of foods their LO's eat and I can't help feeling I have got something wrong somehow.
I suppose I am looking for some reassurance that this phase will end at some point and I will look back and wonder why I was so wound up about it.
I am 32 weeks pregnant and am feeling more than a little tired and hormonal !
Thanks

Your child has eaten a large and varied quantity of food for his age today, and it doesn't matter if he doesn't eat another bite, he's had enough.

PS Other parents lie to make themselves look good. I recently "fed" a 6 year old who "eats anything, really!" - except chips, red pasta sauces, chicken on the bone, fish, meat, any vegetable bar raw carrot and fruit. And he didn't like my bread. Or my butter. Or potatoes. Or the sort of child friendly, non lumpy yoghurts I had in my fridge (he prefers different child friendly non lumpy yoghurts). Or eggs, or baked beans.

He ate some cheese. And a breadstick.

Moral of tale - other people's kids probably subsist on weetabix, bananas and cheese, just like 75% of all 1 to 4 year olds. They don't wish to admit this, so simply lie!

Oh the joys! My DD was exactly the same. He will get through it as will you, but it seems like an age away at the moment.

I was rather strict with my DD and refused her sweet foods without having eated a certain amount of savoury first, even if it is 2 mouthfulls of something initially refused. Have you tried dips? I know it is messy but they love it, its more exciting for them. As long as he is fit and healthy then i wouldn't worry, he'll come round when he is ready.

that sounds like loads of food. My DS is a dreadful food refuser - he just isnt interested. It really upsets me actually, as i cook nice meals that are just rejected. I have no advice, but it sounds as if he is getting enough. I know my DS has boundless energy, so maybe they just dont need as much as we think they do. My nephew of the same age eats a huge amount, but he does loads and loads of poos!

colditz is right, no bloody child eats what you want them to eat, and if you hear otherwise it probably isn't true. My DD required ketchup with practically everything to eat it. And yes i know ketchup is full of sugar and god knows what else but she is a healthy 5 year old now, so cant be too bad! Oh and her taste in food has now improved, thank god.

Don't feel like a failure!

I was like you and thought that if only I only offered my DD a wide variety of proper adult food, she would eat with the family from an early age.

It was watching my DSSs (7 and 9 years older than my DD) eat, and observing their clear preference for "children's" food, that convinced me that adults and children do indeed have different food preferences and that it is unnecessarily demanding of parents to expect small children to enjoy exactly the same foods that adults do.

I've always found with my DCs that if you put food in bowls in the middle of the table, they love helping themselves and eat more than if you put it on a plate, although it's not practical for every type of meal. Makes them feel they have a choice.

FWIW I think he eats well.

Good luck, and it DOES get better.

Thanks all for your responses, advice and reassurance.
I will try some of your suggestions and also try and chill out a little !

My ds is 2.4 and doesn't eat half the things you discribed saz. He won't eat ceral or weetabix with milk on. If he has cereal it's a few flakes of my special K and apricots with no milk. The things he will eat are litterally the following.... cheese (usually), dry brown bread, sausages, grapes, chicken, apple, baked beans, spaghetti bolognaise (although he has to eat it with his fingers even though he is very able to use a fork), breadsticks with cheese dip and that's it! You aren't alone. Most of my friends kids are either the same or worse.