Please help me, I am fed up of being treated like sh** by dd1, and dd2 is starting now as well.

[thesockmonsterofdoom]

Dd1 spends the majority of her life shouting at me, having tantrums, slamming doors and generally being vile to me. I hav3e kind of got used to it and while I try my gardest to reward and make life nice and make her happier I accept that she is a highly strung child who is never going to be happy unless every thing is perfect. dd2 has now strted copying her and I really am getting fed up of spending my life trying to make small people happy when they do nothing but shout and scream at me. my mum was round earlier and she was horrified by the way dd2 spoke to me. I have tried everything I can think of, I have a psychology degree but I just don't know what to do anymore. Is it just an age thing, are all children like this, or am I just a bit crap at this.

How old are your DD's sockmonster?

6 and 3.5. it is the 6yo that is the biggest problem, she is just so angry and unhappy and sensitive. but then in a second she goes back to being as lovely as anything.

My DS is a bit like this at the moment, but he is 10 (nearly 11) and I was just putting it down to age, although he's always been quite sensitive and he wasn't a happy baby really looking back, my DD (3) has started to get a bit of a madam, although she's always been very wilful even as a baby,
sometimes I feel like tearing my hair out! I think it's just kids in general tbh they can be bloody hard work at times! I do know how you feel

How are you with them sockmonster? Are they mirroring behaviour back to you? Not saying they are, but when I caught my dd sighing a lot and rolling her eyes at me, I realised she was only copying me

Or are you 'too nice?' A friend of mine has a similar problem with her 2 dd's - I have noticed she gives them endless oppurtunities to order her around, something as simple as getting them a drink, she offers different drinks, different colour cups, then different straws, each time being screeched at for picking the 'wrong' thing - even if it is the thing they have just asked for.

They fuss and cry and scream and squabble and fight until they get the extra biscuit or whatever it is they want... they are at heart lovely girls but I wish I could tell their mum to grow a pair!

Worth bearing in mind that they may be learning to treat you badly from either how you let them treat you or how the people around you, treat you.

I hope that came out right... don't usually give advice on behaviour cos I have one dd and I don't feel I've had a hard enough time with her to comment, iykwim!

In any case, have a

Poor you, I know how you feel! I often feel like I've totally lost control with my sons (2 and 4.5). I think we should probably be more firm and stick to threats of no pudding/outings etc - I seem to always cave these days through tiredness.
Good luck!

Hmm, My DS (10), has been a right sod for a couple of months. Never did anything when asked, threw tantrums when expected to do homework/tidy room/do his standard chores. Cheeky talk, showing little respect.

On Friday, over dinner, I said we had had enough. TV and Computer time were banned, and bedtime would come forward by an hour. This situation would stay in place until his behaviour settled down, and he realised that he should show us the consideration and care that we show him.

Friday evening he grumped and groaned. On saturday he was a bit grumpy in the morning, but settled to do his weekend homework with little disruption.
We had a much more settled sunday and monday, and by tuesday morning he got up and did one of his jobs (emptying the dishwasher) before we even got out of bed. He has even brought us early morning tea on 2 mornings !!!

By the second half of this week, we have a much calmer house, cos he's not yelling at us, so we don't have to shout at him (or each other). I have allowed some computer time tonight, and he can watch TV with me later.
DS and I are making sure to tell him how much we like this improvement, thank him profusely every time he responds well to a request.

I don't know whether it will last, but privileges such as PC & Telly time will be allowed only while bedhaviour is good. Oh and I have banned ALL crap american kids programmes for good.

Maybe your 6 y.o. needs pulling up short.

I think you may have a point, I have said that the ds will go if she behaves like a toddler (ie tantrums) as toddlers don't have ds's. she doesn't really play on it much though. The 3yo is really just copying her but she has got so angry lately, she spent about 1/2 an hour yesterday telling me how father christmas wouldn't bring me anything because I am horrible. Wouldn't mind but I have never told them that about father christmas. I am actually really proud of them today though, there dancing show was cancelled last night which would have been disapoointing enough, but we didn't hear about it, went into town and spent an hour sat ion the theatre steps waiting for dh to pick us up. and they behaved so well. I think they are just normal kids really, sometimes it just gets a bit much is all, when you spend half your life running round like a servant for them and they do little more than shout abuse at you.