He's got more than me!

[Othersideofthechannel]

How do you handle this?

There are some foods the DCs love eg sweetcorn but I can almost not bring myself to offer them because I know the first 5 minutes of the meal will be continuing shrieking or whining of
'he's going to take it all'
'she's taking too much'

I lost it with them today on this issue.

I don't mind 'he's got more than me' said in a calm voice but to they get sooo worked up.

They are almost 5 and almost 7. Is it too much to expect them to understand that there is enough food for everyone and they will get some.

The next time they do this, I would take the plate away and throw the sweetcorn in the bin. If that seems too brutal to you, then you can warn them if they carry on then you will take the throw the sweetcorn away. Explain that everyone gets their fair share. If they carry on, then do it.

Another trick - with cakes etc - is to get one of them to cut the cake in half, and the other one chooses the piece they want.

From that "how to talk" book, "oh you're really hungry you would like more sweetcorn?" rather than trying to rationlise with them.

I'm afraid I have no truck with this - I have 2 sons.

However, at a works "do" recently, a colleague noticed that I held up 2 glasses of wine to check there was the same in each before giving them to my friends. Sure sign of a mother

"Another trick - with cakes etc - is to get one of them to cut the cake in half, and the other one chooses the piece they want."

That! It was the only thing that ever worked when my brother and I were young

yy the one child gets to divide, the other gets to choose will result in nano-perfect 50-50 division

So Cargirl, you would completely ignore the tone of voice and just breezily take on board what they are communicating?

I suppose I could throw the food in the bin but then I wouldn't get any.

It's not really a question of wanting more than they already have. The problem arises when the first child to serve themselves is doing so and the other one is continually shrieking or whining that the other one is going to have it all when there really is plenty for everyone.

Mine are 6 and 3, any bickering about who's got what and why and how much results in whatever the subject of bickerment is going in the bin immediately

Ds1 gets more dinner. An extra fried egg etc. He's the biggest. FAct.

I was just quoting the book on this, I serve up onto the plates for every meal so I've never had this issue. I think perhaps there has been over pudding and I've commented in so much as said "you wish you had got that bit"

Can I just say I really dislike mealtimes!!!! Eating with dc 7 days per week is not pleaurable IMO

This is not a problem that arises with cake but I will bear in mind for the future.

I suppose it could work with sweet corn. We could have it in tiny bowls on our plates and rather than helping themselves, I suppose I could get one child to serve everyone and then we help ourselves.

lol at "bickerment"

otherside So let me get this straight - you have a bowl of sweetcorn an they serve themselves ?

Use the cake trick -dish out yours first, then get one of them them to dish out equal portions for each other. Whoever didn't dish, chooses.

(they'll probably argue about who dishes, at which point you can either
a) explain that they will take turns or
b) throw the sweetcorn in the bin)

x POSTed. Serve yourself first in case the ultimate sanction (throwing it in the bin) happens.

Cargirl I also dish up, but they'll still argue so and so got more .

As someone who vividly remembers counting the peas and chips on my plate in an attempt to prove that I was right and he did indeed have more than me, I would say there is little if anything rational you can do to combat such madness Shock tactics are the only option - one warning, then into the bin!

I hear you, but throwing in the bin does not need to happen very often once they have got the message - that there are consequences for their behaviour. If you are really very uncomfortable, merely take it away until they have stopped having their argument and calmed down.

Yes, you've got it Jamie.
I think this technique can work.
Good old mumsnet.

I suppose I just say "oh did they, you wish you had more?"

If they carried on they'd be removed from the table and get a time out. Perhaps that's why mine don't really make a huge fuss because they risk missing tea altogether