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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

swimming, wont put head under

17 replies

kateeliz · 25/11/2009 04:34

Hi,

Does anyone have any tips for me. My boy is 4.5 and we've just started taking him to swimming lessons. In a group of about 5 the same age none had been swimming before and all were a bit scared for the first lesson.
now though they are all going under, jumping off sides etc, but my boy just cries, he hates getting splashed, he just hates it. So yeah, its getting a bit stressful for me now so was wondering if anyone has experienced this and what we can do to boost his confidence. Hes the sort of kid that is not really sporty or confident, hes brainy and a great artist and perfect as far as his Mums concerned, but yeah, just some strategies as I find myself now kind of getting frustrated with him and i dont want to make it worse.
practical strategies please. no lectures on not getting stressed and frustrated.....thanks.

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NotQuiteCockney · 25/11/2009 06:36

Can you practice these things with him, either the splashing etc in the bath, or the jumping in, just the two of you at the pool?

feetheart · 25/11/2009 06:53

Not sure if its the done thing but goggles helped my DD at about same age - she was fascinated by what she could see underwater (mainly feet and bottoms which she thought was hilarious!)
Lots of fun swimming as a family with no pressure to do anything and talking about the lessons and what he thinks about them - what he likes/dislikes and why.

HTH

vinocollapso · 25/11/2009 06:58

Hi there

I used to teach swimming to children your age, and this is such a common thing - so don't worry. Hope some of this helps - feel free to email me off the forum if it helps!

Firstly, does he have some groovy goggles so that his eyes aren't getting sore?

Don't worry about him actually swimming yet - confidence in the water is the first thing!

I would suggest some time outside the lesson with him and try the following in the baby pool. You can get toys (or ask to borrow some from the pool if you explain the dilemma) that all help - kids love props!

Gentle bubble blowing, so you both just have your mouths in the water - you still have your eyes above the water line. Hold on to the side so he doesn't feel anxious.

Push and whoosh - using a float held in front, push off as fast as he can from the side like a rocket, with his head down - call them superman pushes if that helps, or whatever hero he's currently into!

Diving for treasure - you can buy or borrow 'sinkers' which are brightly coloured and sink to the bottom of the pool. Practice diving to the bottom (in shallow water!) to collect. Winner gets a treat!

Hope that's enough for now - just relax and give him a bit of time on his own with you and he'll be fine - to be honest, if the lesson he's not in is freaking him out, take him out. You can always go back when he's more confident.

Good luck - let me know how you get on!

shootfromthehip · 25/11/2009 06:59

I had the same problem with DD and we practised with her wearing googles in the bath. She started by holding her breathe in the water (face down) and counting how long she could hold it for. It really helped her confidence and she is now swimming underwater like a fish.

I stopped taking her to swimming lessons as I felt that I coulld make better progress with her myself as they don't 'make' them do anything they aren't comfortable with. SHe is now doing really well but it has taken ages (stoopped the lessons at 4.5 and she is now 5.5)

Good luck

vinocollapso · 25/11/2009 07:00

Oops, meant to say lesson he IS in!

And as the others all say - just relax and make it fun. x

Original poster

kateeliz · 17/12/2009 07:21

thanks everyone great tips!! x

OP posts:

FernieB · 17/12/2009 08:21

Mine were exactly the same at that age. Stupidly I kept them in lessons and they made no progress at all. When we moved abroad I didn't bother organising lessons and just took them to the pool myself (outdoor pool in summer) - they loved it. Took them all summer but they pretty much taught themselves to swim (aged 6-7). Now aged 9, they are either up on the highest diving boards or under the water.

rabbitstew · 17/12/2009 16:17

Well, you certainly aren't alone. My nearly 6-year old has had 6 months of 1-1 lessons and 2 terms of group lessons, as well as having been taken swimming regularly for fun since he was very small. I've also tried getting him to wear goggles in the bath, etc... And still no progress on the face going in the water. He will swim on his back with his head right in the water (except, of course, for eyes, nose and mouth) and will let people pour water over his head, he will even jump in the water so that his head goes under very briefly (although he does not like to do this and you have to be holding his hands while he does it) but he will NOT put his face in the water to swim. It is beginning to irritate me intensely. He is not going to learn to swim properly until he can do this, because his terror at the thought of sinking means he just will not try to swim without floats or armbands, and he can't practice the arm movements, the teachers have to manhandle his arms for him to enable him to keep his head right out of the water.

AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! I wish I could just give up trying, but then I'd only feel guilty that I hadn't taken responsibility for teaching him to swim.

Original poster

kateeliz · 17/12/2009 18:02

rabbitstew I know how you feel, its hard not to get irritated!! Infact i was feeling just like you, wanting to stop but now that i've started feeling guilty about that. Lessons have just finised for us and everyone is telling me to keep send him back next year but I wonder if we would be better to just keep going on our own.

OP posts:

amidaiwish · 17/12/2009 18:13

DD1 was like that, i kept perservering til she spent more and more of the lesson standing beside the pool freaking out. I stopped lessons for 6 months, took her swimming with friends and then all of a sudden she went under water etc having a great time as if she was a different child.

get some good goggles that fit well - makes a big difference. Can he stand up in the pool where he has lessons?

amidaiwish · 17/12/2009 18:15

rabbitstew - same qu, how deep is the pool? DD1 had at least a year of lessons in a pool she couldn't stand up in (swanky leisure centre). now she is in the local school pool (skanky) but it is warm and shallow like a giant bath with just 6 kids/2 teachers in the whole pool. difference in her is incredible.

rabbitstew · 17/12/2009 21:00

Alas, the pool is not too deep - it's the learner pool at the local sports centre, and he has lessons in groups of 6-8 children, with two teachers. He likes his teacher. The water is not too cold. He likes being in the water (up as far as his neck, that is...). He watches all the other children stick their faces in the water all the time. Nothing seems to encourage him to think that he might just survive a bit of water on his face and that if he does go right under, he won't actually drown. He is by nature an unusually cautious child, but this anxiety about his nose and eyes going in the water is just getting silly, now. I feel like I'm damned either way - put too much pressure on him and it becomes a full-blown phobia, don't put pressure on him and wait for him to do it in his own time, and I may end up with a child who is totally unsafe around water for many years to come.

I thought maybe trying a swimming mask, instead of goggles, might help, as it would stop water going up his nose, but haven't managed to find one that fits comfortably for a child of his age, yet - I tried a cheap one this summer on holiday, but he panicked about that being over his face, because it was very tight and uncomfortable... I don't suppose whether anyone else has tried this and whether it might be an avenue worth exploring further?!

verybusyspider · 17/12/2009 21:11

Will he have a shower at home? I have put mine (although not ds3 yet as he's only 6months) in the bath when I'm having a shower with some toys to play with. ds1 now has lessons at 3.5yrs and is really confident in water - although not great at listening away with the fairies most of the time!

I'd start with water confidence at home in the bath, washing hair, blowing ping pong balls around and build up from there... is he ok in the bath?

rabbitstew · 17/12/2009 21:51

Nope, he hates showers, although he will tolerate them unhappily. He will happily lie back in the bath for his hair wash (in fact, he enjoys lying back in a warm bath), but will not lean over to go under the water face first. And he's been blowing bubbles and ping pong balls around in the water for the last 4 years, so I don't think that's going to get us anywhere. Basically, he has no problem with his mouth going in the water, he just has a problem with his nose and eyes (inside goggles) going in. I think he seriously believes he might accidentally try to breathe underwater and end up with a lungful of the stuff.

verybusyspider · 17/12/2009 22:44

nope sounds like blowing bubbles isn't going to help - sorry am not a swimming teacher or anything, maybe work on the shower thing and see if it helps? sounds like its the water on his whole face and being in control of breathing at same time, problem is if it scares you the breathing becomes really hard... sorry thats no help, only link I can make is ds1 is happy in shower and happy in water too.
good luck x

rabbitstew · 18/12/2009 13:15

Thanks, verybusyspider.

JBM123 · 14/03/2024 05:56

I read this (quite old!) thread with keen interest. Thank you for the posts and ideas so far. I am particularly interested because I am trying to work out why my child (just turned 6 this week) is so uncomfortable with water on his face. When I was younger than him, like with many other kids, I loved jumping in the water and was always happy going underwater. All his friends and the other kids his age also have no problem at all and are always going underwater. He loves playing in water, but refuses to ever put his mouth, nose or eyes under.

When they were slow to get in, his friend's parents often did the goggles thing or blowing bubbles thing, or blowing ping pongs, or thrusting forward from the poolside, and so on. That all worked for them, even when their kids were much younger than mine. My child (now 6, so not tiny) refuses to do any of these things and gets very anxious whenever anyone tries to gently encourage him. If he has a shower, he freaks out if the water goes over his head so that it comes down on his face and I usually have to run the shower head just over the back of his head, avoiding the face. Same in the bath, where I have to carefully lower water onto the back of his head to wash his hair.

We also recently discovered that he displays mild elements of neurodivergence among his peers at school (nothing too strong, but general issues breaking routines, overreacting or picking up social cues). So I was interested to see if there were any links with this and his fear of ever going underwater. Not sure if any parent has discovered this link? Thanks everyone.

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