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Terrible 3 year old

4 replies

stircrazymum · 24/11/2009 12:59

My dd is causing us lots of problems at the moment, having tried a few things I feel at a loss of where to go next. I have always I feel had a close and good relationship with her, I guess its the arrival of a new baby 12 weeks ago which has exacerbated bad behaviour e.g. tantrums, demanding attention constantly.

We went away this weekend to stay with a friend and she had us up most of the night. She was then tired the next day and pretty much ruined the next day and we ended up going home early. She sleeps well at home generally but is terrible when we go away.

At the moment she has one or more major tantrum a day. Everything is a big deal, refuses baths, every minor step of the day is a deal to be negotiated e.g. getting dressed, teeth, hair, 'my tv'. Thankfully she is affectionate to her new sister and I know this is probably just adjustment but it seemed to be getting better.

I have tried ignoring, rewarding good behaviour, naughty step/time out, pasta jar method ( only in last week).

I have resorted to smacking her hand on a few occasions. I don't really want to do this.

I dread going away as we just end up up all night and its just not worth it. We don't do it often. Is this a common toddler thing that she will grow out of? Other people who I have asked about it say their children sleep fine away from home.

My instinct tells me if I keep trying with the above ( not the smacking) and with time it will get better but I feel I am not dealing with it very well.

To make it all the more annoying she is perfect at nursery, everyone thinks she is an angel other than those who have witnessed the almighty kick offs at home/when staying away.

Any advice or similar experiences?? Please tell me this will get better

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
slim22 · 24/11/2009 13:11

patience.....

Quiltedrose · 24/11/2009 13:29

I wonder if all of us with difficult 3 year olds should get together one day and just do a swap for a day I bet they'd be really good for someone else!!

I have just dragged my 3 year old up the stairs by one arm having caught her sitting on her baby sister's face. The baby thought it was funny but I didn't. So I am not one to advise on how not to lose your rag!

But I do think that with my dd I noticed a delayed reaction after the arrival of dd2 - she was really good for a few weeks and then we had a really awful few weeks a couple of months in - about the time that she twigged the baby was here to stay!

DD1 never sleeps well when we go anywhere either - it is all just too exciting and inevitably there is a change of routine. So we have stayed at home since dd2 was born other than go to my parents for the odd night here and there.

5 months in now and we have good days and bad days - the bad days are usually when I have 2 of them at home, I'm stressed from running between them and I think they feed off this. I am thinking of switching nursery sessions so that I have some 3 year old free time each day - I feel quite bad about this as I really wanted to spend some time with her before she starts school next year, but I just dread having her at home and I feel really guilty about it.

stircrazymum · 24/11/2009 13:37

I have got to this stage and have started playgroup one morning, plus she has nursery 3 days a week. I am thinking of adding in another morning but feel its a shame we won't have one full day together! I guess my problem is perhaps just typical of this situation.

OP posts:
slim22 · 24/11/2009 23:31

Very typical.

If one more days at nursery will help, so be it. Minimise the friction time.
But when she is around give her 100% positive reinforcement and get the baby OFF you if there is someone around to help and make her feel extra special.

If you can, do one little thing a day just with her.

Walk to the local shop, bath, craft. Just 10 or 15 mn special time and make a big fuss of letting everyone now that you should not be disturbed during this "grown up time".

She needs to feel you can drop everything for her just like you are now for the baby.

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