2.5yr old DD has no respect, how to discipline?

[LUCIA22]

DD is 2.5yrs and v cheeky. If she is told not to do something she just ignores us and doesnt seem to care if she is punished. Have tried naughty chair, no tv etc. She often wont eat her dinner and has to go to bed with nothing but it doesnt seem to make any difference. We ask her to say sorry if she is naughty or hurts someone which she will sometimes do but I dont think she really understands as she will just go and do it again. She shouts 'dont tell me not to do it!!!' or 'no!!' when asked to do something. Am I expecting too much from her? Its her cheekiness which upsets me most as I cant think where she has learnt to speak to us in that way!!

she is 2.5 i think you are expecting too much from her.

I think its fairly normal, there's noone born with respect i think its more learned over time... (Plus there the terrible two's & all that) they know they can say 'no' now & will! i think she is still quite little & distracting her or removing her from the situation before she can get herself into trouble & also turning the odd 'blind eye' to minor things & trying to give loads of encouragement & praise for even the smallest good thing... Does she go to playschool? Maybe trying to be extra polite within the family unit aswell so she can see thats how ye do it, thats how she should do it too... Ya know what i mean?? And as for sayin sorry then doin it again 5min later i think the majority of them do the exact same thing! HTH

I think your problem is that you are concentrating on getting respect- 2yos are natural anarchists, as Libby Purves puts it, and this simply isn't going to happen. At this age, you'd do much better concentrating on getting the job done- stop naughtiness, remove her if she is hurting someone, let her go to bed hungry (though I really wouldn't sweat this last)- just stay calm and cheerful. If she tries to play with the china vase and you take the vase away from it- that's it: you got your way! Job sorted! She doesn't have to be repentant or feel the right thing: the point is that she will experience again and again that Mummy always gets her way, and eventually (give it 3 or 4 years) she'll decide that she might as well let Mummy have her way, seeing that she's so determined.

The calmer you stay, the more impressive you'll look.