How would I know if my son had aspergers?

[Conundrumish]

I've become a bit concerned about my DC2 (a 6 yr old boy) and I'm not sure if I am reading into things too much or not.

Part of my problem is that DC1 is totally different and I'm not sure if my bench mark is out of kilter.

He seems to be bright and appears (though I am not 100% sure as I have never asked) to be in the top set or 2nd top set out of 4 in a high achieving church primary school. He's recently been sent to a workshop for 'more able' children, despite having really quite poor gross motor skills which shows itself in his writing and drawing. He has a fantastic memory, a good imagination, good at maths and is quite focused at school. I've noticed he is clumsy (so is my DH, and me a bit, I'm not sure if that is relevant). What worries me is that unlike my other DC nearly all our conversations are about the things he is interested in such as lego, starwars etc etc and seems almost incapable of talking about anything else. He is very chilled and doesn't get upset when my DC1 would do (i.e. received a nasty injury recently and just seemed to absorb it all without any thought). He has got out of bed to bother us just once in his life (!) and just seems to get on with things.

He's not really found a 'proper' 1:1 friendship like my DC1 has and seems to drift between groups of friends sometimes. I think he is quite shy, but he can sometimes come across as a bit loud too, which might intimidate other children sometimes. I don't think he is really connecting with his friends and it seems that people aren't really important to him at all.

I can't work out if he is at the 'boy' end of the spectrum and is showing typical male behaviour (whereas my older son is unusually articulate etc for a boy of his age) or whether there is a problem. I have read through the usual websites and some of the behaviours ring a bell with me but the descriptions are very vague.

look at this, this is very specific - not vague at all, its a chart that the professionals use.

www.udel.edu/bkirby/asperger/aspergerscaleAttwood.html

my son has aspergers. he is 17 now, but when he was dx at 7 years old he ticked alot of these boxes. plus trust your instincts. read anything by Tony Atwood. he is fab. best of luck.

Thanks Vicar. At a glance I'd say probably only 50% of those, so thanks for that.

have you checked out dyspraxia?

if your at all concerned about his motor skills id speak to your GP. they could refer him for an assessment with an occupational therapist to check out his level of difficulty and offer advice.

my son has problems with motor skills, but he is also dyspraxic and dyslexic.

you can get special grip pens /pencils, also do exercises that help (write from the start is one my son used) and now he is older he uses a laptop for everything, he gets one provided by college. also uses a dictophone to record things, a PDA etc. these things have made his life far easier, but he only got access to them at college. if id known id have pressed far more when he was at school.

I did mention dyspraxia to her reception teacher but she thought he was OK (though struggling with writing).

Thanks - think I am probably worrying about nothing