At wits end with 3 1/2 yr old!

[mamaprincess]

I am (as the title suggests!) now at my wits end with DD2 and would love some helpful tips! DD1 had her moments but was fairly manageable. She understands where the line is and occassionally crosses it, as you would expect. DD2 is an enitrely different kettle of fish. We have tried rewarding good behaviour (sticker charts etc), ignoring bad, naughty step, removal of favourite toys and NOTHING works when she gets into a strop. This happens on an almost hourly basis and usually occurs when she has been told no, has to go out (even to somewhere she wants to go!), has to get dressed, wind is blowing in the wrong direction, you get the picture! Now I get that to some extent this is normal and that no two children are the same but this has been going on for months and I really don't know how I can change things. She goes to nursery 3 days a week and is angelic and very compliant there. Please please someone give me some suggestions or reassure me that she will not grow up to be a menace to society!

Well, I can give you lots of sympathy - I have a 3 1/2 yr old dd too and we dread the weekends when she's at home all day!

I did find the 'Divas and Dictators' book helpful and we go through phases where we try to praise her 6 times for every 1 time we tell her off. But I have just this minute come down from upstairs, where after trying every trick in the book to not go to sleep she's poured water all over her bed and is talking back at me already. So the praise thing is hard - but she does respond to it.

Is it a girl thing? Is it a 3 1/2 year old thing? Not sure.

My DS was 4 in Aug and is a nightmare, great at school but the minute he gets out from school he starts. We too have tried the naughty step, taking favourite toys away etc but he actually does these himself now ! he says "mummy i'm going to go and sit on the naughty step now" and off he goes (grin)
DH does not have the patience to deal with him so I have to which is hard day in and day out.
We have good days and bad days, The only advice that I can give is that we try and make sure that he gets some quality 1 to 1 time with one of us each day (this is hard with a younger DD) and he's great then and lots of praise when he's good and ignoring when he's naughty - we have also resorted to (when he's done something really bad) him loosing his "play in the bath" time and stories at bed as these mean alot to him we also make out that it doesn't matter to us it's him that's loosing out and that it is his fault he's lost out because of his behaviour.He has recently started asking (about 3 times a day) if he's been good today.I can really sympathise with you and will be watching this thread with interest

Good to hear I am not alone then. DD is also 3.5 with a younger sister of 21 months. Just spent the most horrific weekend of strops and shouting (including me and her father at her) which I know I shouldn't do but just lost it. I am sure its attention seeking but have no more time to give. Only other thing I can put it down to is toxins building up as she hasn't done a poo since Friday. Took her fav toy away tonight and said she couldn't have it until tomorrow. Feel like my whole life is threats which is soooooo far away from where i want to be. Will check out the Divas & Dictators book but at least its good to know I am not alone. Will watch this with great interest. Thanks all

Think I'll check that book out too, another one here with a 3 year old diva , mine starts nursery in jan and I'm hoping it will calm her down a bit, but I fear she will probably just get worse with age!!

I was going to start a thread with virtually the same title!!

DS1 is exactly 3.5 - DS2 is 5 weeks, so we are making allowances for his behaviour but to be honest it is not noticeably different than before the baby came - major strops about everything, constant demands, further strops when these demands are not met. He wakes at 5am every day as well, and I think overtiredness is a factor, but it is hard to get him to have a nap in the morning, and then he is at preschool in the PM - where he behaves beautifully.

DH and i give him loads of attention, 1 to 1 play , making things etc and althoug it sounds silly i think this is part of the problem - he seems to find it hard to play by himself for even a very short period. could this be possible?!

Today after he went to bed i sat on the sofa in tears - i hate shouting, but i lost it a few times today, and feel miserable!

(excuse ropey typing am bf'ing ds2!)

Soooo good to hear I'm not alone! Who is the book by? I must get it! Hrc, I loose it on a regular basis which is also not where I want to be. She shouts back so it just escalates the whole thing. V difficult to remain calm though!

Not sure if it is a girl thing or 3.5 yr old thing. Having had a girl and 3.5 yr old before this one is certainly different!

Had a reasonable day today with no TV and no barbies to play with (as a result of yesterdays antics!), but did spend 1 to 1 time doing puzzles and playing with guinea pigs! Maybe good wholseome fun is what's in order.

How has everyone else's day been?

Sorry JemL just read your message. Sympathy to you to! At least he is behaving well elsehwere . Just a shame they save it all up for us poor old mamas.

I think it is by Charlie Taylor.

Thanks. I will read and digest.