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Behaviour/development

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DS 11

1 reply

Flowertop · 21/11/2009 15:52

This isn't the first time I've written about my DS over the years but i'm just feeling particularly down at the mo. He is a lovely, sweet kind boy but has social issues. He has a very good friend at school and they have been buddies for a couple of years and even recently changed schools together (bullying issues at previous). Everywhere we go it seems that someone must put my DS down and be really nasty to him. There is always someone being really kind to DS's best buddy, inviting them home etc and in the process trying to exclude DS. DS is easily pushed out and kind of goes into himself. He isn't the most gregarious child and does find it difficult to make friends and lets people belittle him and behave badly to him. Over the years we have tried clubs etc as well as changing schools but am beginning to think the way he behaves towards his peers is actually inviting them to reject and be unkind to him. As I say the same scenario usually happens within his peer group situation. I am so worried he will end up going through his teens friendless and very low self esteem. We try to suggest strategies to help him deal with his peers but he just goes into himself with his shoulders and head down. I could cry just thinking about him. Has anyone got a child with similar issues and can you help me to help him please.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
DillieTantie · 21/11/2009 20:48

This is so sad for you and your DS.
Have you considered talking to your GP about a referral to CAMHS?
My DS had some issues that were different, but similar in some respects - low self-esteem, not gregarious, introspection, lack of self-confidence. CAMHS were brilliant with him, and with DH and myself working with him and them, he is a completely different child - happy, confident and (almost) outgoing. It took a year from referral to CAMHS "discharging" him, but it was a year well-spent.
I didn't want to take DS to an appointment with the GP in order to discuss this stuff in front of him as it would have felt like criticising him, IYKWIM, so I arranged a telephone appointment where I told the GP about DS's issues. He accepted what I said, and referred him to CAMHS on the basis of what I told him on the phone.
I do feel for you and hope that you find something that works for you and your DS.

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