20 week old won't let me me put her down

[sassyhopper32]

My 20 week old DD is gorgeous but still hates being put down on her mat, or in her chair or in her soft nest thing, and I end up carrying her round for most of the day.

It's exhausting. I kind of thought she might start to grow out of it by now, but even if I'm right next to her on the floor playing with her and showing her toys etc, talking to her etc. she still cries and grizzles until I pick her up. Will she ever grow out of it? What am I doing wrong? I can't carry her round for the next year. I did try a sling, but she hated that.

I don't want or expect her to sit or lie somewhere for hours on end, but it would be nice if she could play for a bit while I'm eating, or having a cuppa occasionally.

Sorry - haven't got all the answers, my DS had an altometer (thing that said how high up he was) for a long time and wouldn't even like it if we held him and sat down so you have my empathy. He DID grow out of it - I promise you they do - and luckily liked being in a sling.

BUT, just wanted to say, you are doing NOTHING wrong!

I used shopping trolleys a lot as I could balance him on the handle/in the seat and didn't have to carry his weight IYSWIM.

Is there a particular way she likes being carried, on her tummy?

Hi, thanks! She likes being carried with her back towards me, facing outwards, or over my shoulder, but facibg outwards is the favourite.
She also isn't keen on sitting down, and likes us to be standing up or walking, how I'm not really thin by now I do not know...

Good to know she's not the only LO who's like this!

No - you are NOT alone with this!
Clearly life is just much more interesting from you perspective, as she's carried around

Have you tried some different types of slings/babywearing. Some are easier to get them in / out of and that can sometimes make a difference, as I know it's BRILLIANT to get hands free time.

If you google baby wearing there are some sites that show a variety of slings/ties and ways to carry your baby around to get some hands free time IYSWIM. Haven't experimented yet - am working towards next time.

Good Luck - it does pass!

Oh God hahaha! at the altometer

DS2 (who's only 8 weeks old, but still...) is also like this. DS1 was fine if I carried him in a sling, but DS2 isn't keen on it. Plus I have separated abdominal muscles, which means that carrying a whopping baby around (in a sling or otherwise) can get blimming painful.

Sorry, not a v helpful post, but you're certainly not alone

I think I'll have to re-look at baby carriers and find one that she likes. My dad says she'll be getting too heavy to lug around when she's about 15.....ha ha thanks dad!
Thankfully she's a weeny little thing, 2nd centile, so not a huge lump yet.

Aaah bless her - it's actually very instinctive for you baby to feel safe and secure whilst being carried. Many years ago -a baby would never be put on the floor - a wild wilderbeast/mammoth would have come and eaten her! Unfortunately - our development hasn't caught up yet to todays high tech environment.

She really is only this small for a very short time. Invest in a soft sling like a moby/wrap sling/mei tai. Your hands are free and you can forget about her let her happily get on with gazing about.

Soon she will be crawling and will happily be down on the floor darting around!!!

My baby is like this too; but is enormous (only 15 weeks but about ten tons) and too heavy to carry all the time, in a sling or otherwise. Have been stressing about this issue, worried that I have been spoiling him by carrying him so much. If he's not in motion he is v grizzly. Argh!

It is the motion they seem to like - that's why sitting down holding them is "not good enough" - if the sling isn't working (much more comfy than holding them BTW and you will build up your muscles and be able to carry them for longer periods after a while) and you have tried different types (there are different slings with different positions) you could try a baby swing to get a bit of time off every now and again.

Singinintherain, you can't "spoil" a baby, especially not by cuddling/holding them too much. Some babies are just velcro babies whereas others are more chilled out and happy to lie under a gym etc on their own. Nothing you do can change this so don't worry, you haven't done anything wrong

I don't know what slings you've tried, but I would heartily recommend an Ergo baby carrier. Your dd sounds very like mine was and from about 5-6 months I could 'wear' her on my back - a techy version of the waist wraps that African women have. It changed my life. Putting them on your back means that they can peep out of the side and gives you the flexibility of having two free arms. She had all her day time naps on my back until she was about 9 months, when she suddenly decided that her cot was okay. I think Mei Tai wraps and others can be used in the same way.

I second the thing about a swing. My little one is now 6 months and wants to be carried all the time. I have had a breakthrough with a Graco swing though. It's up quite high and he can sit properly or reclined. You can set it on automatic swing and amazingly he's really happy in it. He seems to want the motion as he also isn't happy staying still. May be worth a try or see if you can borrow one from someone as they can be expensive to buy.

Same problem here too. I have just invested in an Ellaroo wrap (having tried 2 other types of sling). It is absolutely fab and I wish I had bought one sooner. DD2 is very happy to go in and we can wander around all day with no problems leaving me with hands free for dd1.

We had a very long stretchy wrap sling which was comfy to wear and made those early months more palatable. ds didn't like it much to start with but had to get used to it as dd was just 2 when he was born and sometime I needed both hands! After a few days he was usually quite happy to Be carried round like that. Ds used to scream like a banshee whenever he was put down - I can't remember how old he was when he grew out of it but I do remember the first time I put him in a bouncy chair for longer than a minute without all hell breaking loose.

Miserable while it lasts, but I promise it won't last for long!