Tantrums at bedtime - middle of the night - What to do??!?

[Claire2009]

DS is 2.8yo, for a couple of weeks now he's become difficult at night, putting him to bed is hard work now, he screams/throws huge tantrums saying he's not tired when it is clear he is! I ask him what he wants during these and he says "Muuummmm" I've resorted to either sitting with him while he falls asleep (have done this once actually) or leaving him to shout (wake DD) and generally have a hissy fit. Last night though he started at midnight, woke me, DD (3.9yo), I tried to ignore and see if he'd settle himself back to sleep, he didn't - he went crazy and when I went to him he was shaking, he wasn't cold but it was like a hyperventilating type shake iukwim? So I really don't want to be ignoring him in the hope he settles himself if this is what happens?!

I put him into my bed after his shakey/tantrum at midnight, he woke at 3am crying "mummm" again though, he's always been a brilliant sleeper so I don't understand this, he doesn't nap during the day (his choice) but goes to bed at 7pm (used to take about a minute or less to fall asleep) and wakes around 7-7.30am.

I've reassured him I'm only downstairs and not going anywhere but he is unbelievably clingy (never used to be this clingy, it's the last 2wks where it's all started) he just cries when I tell him this.

I can sit with him but I just don't think thats very wise?! He'll get into only falling asleep with Mummy sat on his bed stroking his hair

So, I'm not sure what to do here?! Any ideas/advice?

Thanks

do you think he might be having bad dreams/night terrors?

Possibly, that would also be why he doesn't want to go to sleep, right? I didn't even think of that!

yes that could very well be the reason. my dd is 2.6 and a couple of months ago had a 3 week period where she would wake in the middle the night crying and crying, shaking, pushing me away, calling out my name, really really distressed - looked exactly like full blown tantrum, it eventually dawned on us that she wasn't even awake at first and therefore she must be having bad dreams. All we did was to stay with her, give her cuddles (sometimes tricky when writhing about), gently soothing her and reassuring her quietly until she calmed down. At some point she must have woken up and found this very confusing which kept things going for a bit but eventually she wound down and went back to sleep. We didn't have a problem with her going to bed so can't offer any advice there I'm afraid but we always stay with her until she falls asleep after her stories (usually no longer than 10 minutes as she doesn't nap in the day and is flat out) .... we've always done that so not a problem for us.

It could be something else of course, but bad dreams do kick in around now. How is his language, maybe you could try talking about it in the day ... if he doesn't remember it definately sounds like bad dreams/night terrors.

It's horrible isn't it? Hope it works itself out.

Thankyou MissWooWoo!

I think that must be it, his language isn't great at all, just started speaking 3mths ago so it's still rather a lot of babble and baby talk, he's getting there though, will just try the soothing and if it is night terrors I am at least there and reassuring him. Thanks again!