ds 's behaviour is getting worse according to his teacher...

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well, not worse exactly but his concentration is at zero, he refuses to do anything he doesn't want to do and seems to have been very hyperactive recently. he will be 5 in april.

i wasd't that worried until now, thought that he was going through a stage and trying to cope with me working, dh being about to join RAF and starting school in Jan. but teacher says she is worried about it and will need to watch him over the next few weeks.

i dont know what to think. ds has always been a lovely, placid little boy. but has always been very stubborn and is often immovable. there is nothing i can do to persuade him when he digs his heels in and i cant make him do anything he doesnt want to. now his teacher has really worried me (dh spoke to her, i was at work) he can do things like read, count and write his name, but his writing isnt great because he isnt interested. he loves reading though and is great with his lego, can build pretty much anything.

id kind of resigned myself to the fact that he isnt going to be academic like dh and i were, but now i dont know what i should do to help him.

Bloody hell, he's only four!

He can read, count and write his name. What is 'non academic' about that?

i know, but shes got us all worried now. apparently he should be doing more. he is our only and i have no idea what to expect from him.

sorry, didnt mean from i meant what stage he should be at developmentally

He is SUPPOSED to be learning through play, not sitting writing reams of information. It's actually to do with government recognition of the fact the four year olds are generally not ready for formal learning

nationalstrategies.standards.dcsf.gov.uk/earlyyears

the above applies until the child enters YEAR 1.

almost forgot, he is also getting v tired. is in bed by 7pm every night and gets up at 7.30, yet come 4pm he is shattered.

he should be able to follow instructions, recognice his name, and count to 10, I think.

reading is NOT expected.

thank you. feel much better now. it just seemed to come out of nowhere. i know that he is often stubborn, and the way i deal with it is by ignoring him. when he throws a tantrum (as 4yo's do) i give him time out, if that doesnt work i confiscate a toy. but shes made us feel like he is a problem child and we have failed him.

he can do all those, but tbh the following instructions thjing is where he falls down. he CAN, but there are times when he WONT.

Lissie nor do most 4 year old boys!

I have to fill out EYFS standards for each child, and reading and writing does NOT come under his age group!

Is it first term in reception then? They're all pretty knackered by now and tend to "go off" a bit, IME

Being shattered at 4pm is normal. His skills are way beyong first term reception, I assure you.
He is stubborn ? so is my son.
His reception teacher last year was the most beautiful person, inside. she bought out the best in him and goaded him in a really subtle way to do what she wanted. she is an angel in disguise he worshipped her , as did I.
His year 1 teacher is fab too.

I have to say that I don't like the sound of this teacher. Do you like her. she sounds too harsh. discussing worse behaviour, behaviour gettig worse, at such an early stage. I think thta is truely odd.
is she not clever enough to get the best out of a strong willed child. my teachers could.
sorry didn't mean to worry you or upset you.

Pull him out one day a week if you think itr's too much for him. TOO TIRED is a perfectly good excuse to not attend school when you are four years old.

Bloody nora, he's only a year older than my ds2, who still poos his pants on a weekly basis.

thank you, i feel much better now. think its his teachers issue rather than ds's. we tried putting him to bed at 6.30 last night and it does seem to have made a big difference, the problem is, she is the deputy head of the school he will be going into.

he sounds like my dd who started recaption in september except she was born on the 30th august

except she doesn't read so hes actually doing better

she is stubborn and has been stubborn with her teachers as well.they are not worried at all.

don't worry the teacher sounds like she might be over worrying

ok, he has been lovely today. tidied up as soon as i asked him to, put his pyjama's on when i asked him to and went straight up to bed. we read Charlie Cook's Favourite Book and The Ugly Duckling. he was reading with me and pointing out the words as we went along. i really dont get what she was talking about. walk round the school on Weds, so will speak to her then about it.

quick update, he has been really good over the last week or so, however, teacher told dh that "his latest thing is going to the toilet when she is taking register" Im very a bit cross about this. he is 4 ffs. when you are 4 and need the loo, you need the loo. does she want him to wet himself?!

The register is taken first thing in the morning and first thing after lunch. Going to the toilet is often a displacement activity used by people who don't want to sit still on the carpet for 5 minutes, I have a lad who always wants to go around 15 mins after he's had to start writing.
Teacher could check he's been as he comes into the room if she doesn't want the disruption of down up down and him missing stuff.

so i should take him to the loo when we get into school?

"id kind of resigned myself to the fact that he isnt going to be academic like dh and i were, but now i dont know what i should do to help him." What a sad statement for a mother to say about a 4 YEAR OLD!!!

i know life, but the teacher has made us feel so bad about him. he is our only child, we are new to this and dont know what to expect. if the teacher tells us that he is "naughty and not doing things he should be like writing his name" we are going to believe that all the other children his age are writing their names.