poo withholding nightmare

[Leo03]

I have a two and a half year old who for the last 6 months had been withholding poos. It is ruining his life and making us all very miserable. He becomes very tired and anxious and then lies on the sofa clutching himself. If we make him stand up to try and get him to poo he shouts no! no! i dont want to. He gets very very upset. This can go on all day, sometimes for two days. He can withhold for up to 4 days. If we ignore him he just gets into a big sweaty mess, and it is difficult to ignore.
He is on lactose solution, but i dont think he is constipated. When he eventually poos, he says it didnt hurt. His bum doesnt look sore. He is a new man as soon as it is over....until the next time. Any help or advise would be appreciated as this is driving us mad.

OK - I am writing to update. The last poo was done within a minute of taking him to his room! He is still holding on to it and going every third day. Day two is difficult. I dont want to take him to his room and make him go until I am certain he is desparate, because I am scared he might genuinely not be able to do it. It might sound cruel, but last time we went to his room he just said 'I am going to do it mummy' and three attempts at pushing and it was done! No tears. No drama. And went down stairs shouting 'I done it!' Just got to hope we dont digress, and try and get it to every other day. If this does prove to be the turning point, it is as a result of getting firm with him. We were told to try and ignore it and give him laxatives. This did nothing and the behaviour just went on for months and months. Of course there is always the possibility that he is coming out of it naturally and our new tactic is just helping him along. Anyway, so far so good. But lets see what tomorrow (day 3) brings.

Hello Leo and everyone else We are in the same situation with ds who is 2, He is currently on senna and lactulose and in spite of having got him into a routine of going every 2 days (and consequently thinking we were getting somewhere)he now hasn't been for 5 days.

He was previously on movicol but we had a horrific incident where it took 5 days to begin to work and then poo ran out of him for 4 days leaving him totally raw and setting him back terribly. I have shed so many tears over my poor little boy. It has been unbearable.

We are with extreme trepidation starting him back on the movicol tomorrow on a lowered dose in the hope that if we can get him accustomed to going again then he will eventually learn that its ok and he can do poos without being frightened.

sorry posted too soon, I also wanted to say a big fingers crossed for you leo that things are improving for your ds....

My daughter is 2 and we are potty training because nursery needs her clean and dry in January and I didn't fancy doing it mid-winter! (tights and boots - yuk!). She is fully verbal and bright so is well capable. She wees on the potty, loo (with or without seat) with no problem but she will not poo without hours / days of fuss. "I don't need a poo Mummy" over and over again and prowling around like a caged lion. She clearly is busting but just can't let it go. When it does finally come, ofcourse it is huge and quite hard. She used to poo at least once or twice a day in nappies. This is doing my head in. I'm almost at the point of giving up and putting her back in nappies. I'm miserable and so is she! It's so random. One day she did 3 in a row and I thought I'd cracked it with the poo poo chicken who flew down with haribos but it only worked for one day. She laughs at her poos when they do come out, describing them etc but she just seems so afraid of the act of letting it go. It seems emotional rather than physical, but I guess fundamentally it does become physical as she gets more anxious. Perhaps I should try laxatives just to get her in the flow?

I would put nappies back on ASAP and see if you can get her to poo regularly again in them. I think your main focus right now she be to stop her withholding, because withholding can become a nightmare and can take a long time to solve (see descriptions above).

If that works, wait at least a month before trying potty training again (so her bowels get used to regular rhythm). When you do try again, follow her lead - i.e. wait for her to be ready and show interest (you can read potty books etc to keep the topic in her mind). I found my children would show total lack of interest and then - voila - one day they would be ready and it all went quickly. Don't stress about nursery - you have lots of time, potty training really doesn't take that long when the child is engaged in the process.

If the nappies don't work, I would go for laxatives, possibly with nappies back on (you may need anyway with laxatives). In other words, prioritise fixing withholding problems over potty training

I have 3 potty-trained children and 1 had a bad withholding bout.

Hello everyone, so I am going through this with Liam my toddler of 2.5 yrs... a couple of weeks back he had a couple of big bm and he started witholding... he would jump run and cry but he doesnt let it out.. i had to take him to the emergency one night because i was going out of my mind hearing him cry and run and jump for 3 hours... they gave him an enema and that was on monday... we r now thursday and he had a small bm at daycare but thats about it... he soils his nappies all the time... not potty trained yet...he doesnt even want to sit on the potty...n he doesnt even want to go on his changing table saying it will hurt...its been going on for 3 weeks and tonight i will give him a suppository as lactulose and restoralax not working.. i have increased his fibre intake.. he refuses to drink water or juice.. its been a nightmare... i have taken to blend pear prunes and flaxseed with his milk before he goes to bed.. and no bm still... i am running out of options.. my DH workes away from home...so sunday to thursday i am with Liam all by myself and my little boy is not the same anymore, he doesnt enjoy playing with his cars or anything as he is always trying not to poop... i filles the tub with warm water and put his fav toys there and thought he might go...but no as soon as he had the feeling he was up and standing and was like poop is gone... no more poop... this is really exhausting.. i have tried enslax as well...nothing works

He might not be constipated now but it's probably hurt him at some point so now it's become a bit of a thing for him. My DD had poo problems, I feel your pain!

I would go to the docs and get him on some movicol. I was reluctant but honestly it worked so well. It will force him to be more regular so his poos will be smaller. Sometimes even if they are soft but massive it can still be scary / painful for them.

Movicol is great because you can adjust the dose to suit your child and then slowly take them off it when you think they're over it. Honestly I would give it a go, sounds like you are having a bit of a nightmare with it.