Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

What do you do with a "bolter"? (23mths)

30 replies

Caz10 · 15/11/2009 21:56

DD will be 2 next month and she is a feisty little madam! A total joy but knows her own mind...

Anyway we are having real problems with her atm taking off and running - she's not too bad in town etc, think she is actually quite wary re cars etc which is good, but put her in any wide open space and she's off like a shot - fine if we are at the beach, but not so fine e.g. across the giant Ikea cafeteria...

I don't know how much she understands when I tell her not to do it, and of course I don't want to turn it into a goos fun game...any advice?!!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

whomovedmychocolate · 15/11/2009 21:59

Little life daysack (backpack) shaped like her favourite animal which has a very discreet reign which once she gets used to you holding the handle of, can be left off. Honestly they do grow out of this fucking annoying stage. DD never legs it now and used to for about six months. She loves her little life buzzy bee backpack, it even has a (fairly crap) rain hat attached with antenna and everyone asks us where we got it when she wears it (Amazon btw are cheapest)

Original poster

Caz10 · 15/11/2009 22:01

Oh we have one! Cue "NO bag, NO bag, NO baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag"!! Sometimes she rolls around the floor too like a new puppy on a lead {grin]

Do I just have to glue it permanantly to her back till she's 3?!

OP posts:

MrsWillis · 15/11/2009 22:05

I've got a bolter too and no amount of backpacks or reins helped as he would just go limp and refuse to walk. Saying something along the lines of "Right, mummy is going now, bye!" doesn't work either because he just shouts "Bye Mama!" over his shoulder and carries on running.

The only thing that has worked so far is to say if you don't stay with me and hold my hand then you get back in your pram. He hates being in the pram so usually stays close by!

He is 2.4 now and getting better so fingers crossed your little one does too.

moaningminniewhingesagain · 15/11/2009 22:06

I just use ordinary reins, although she is getting the ladybird backpack for Christmas.

DD is 2.7 and has just started bolting. Luckily it is coinciding with a phase of voicing Every. Single. Thought.

So she says I want to run away!
I being naughty!
I not crying, I whingeing!

She gets the choice of walk nicely, or sit in the pushchair. Gets two warnings then that's it, strapped in. She does that infuriating swinging from the reins [ggrrr]

whomovedmychocolate · 15/11/2009 22:09

Hahhahah - you're doomed then!

Only kidding. This bit only lasts six months or so.

Okay a few more things to try. Hold hands 'to stop mummy getting lost'. Encourage her to stay close with the promise of 'walk nicely to the next street and you shall have a chocolate button' (note works with dogs too) ; get one of those ride of trikes with a parent handle so she is not actually walking and can't leg it easily.

We sold the idea of the backpack to DD with 'well it's so you can carry your own stuff you love, like dolly and ooh look chocolate buttons, but you can only have them while you have it on'

teameric · 15/11/2009 22:09

looks like it I too have a bolter and the backpack is the only thing that reins her in (literally!) she has calmed down a bit (she's 3) but you only have to turn your back for a second and she dissapears, agree it is very fucking annoying!!

preggersplayspop · 15/11/2009 22:10

Oh I have one of those! Legs it out of the supermarket front door, out of the doctors (into the road ). I have to dump whatever I am carrying and race after him, grabbing his hood normally to stop him from going too far.

Not figured out how I am going to be able to do this when DS2 arrives (hopefully in the next few days). Weekends are a godsend because at least DH is there to help chase after him too.

I have tried stern words and explaining its dangerous. He does stop when I tell him not to go into the road outside of our house, so he does know its wrong. Sometimes he gives me a sly little look and then breaks into the run, so he obviously thinks its a game.

So, no advice alas from me! I do have a little life backpack I should dig out again though. Can't wait for him to grow out of it.

UndomesticHousewife · 15/11/2009 22:21

I have a bolter, ds started running as soon as he walked (at 10 months) and he can run really fast!
He screamed at the top of his voice if I put reins on him so now I just don't go anywhere with him except to parks and toddler groups and such like - way too much stress otherwise.
I'm hoping he'll grow out of it at some point quite soon (he's 2 and half)

brimfull · 15/11/2009 22:27

LOL
sorry this thread reminded me of a bloke I saw in waitrose trying to do his shopping with a 2 yr old bolter
I know it's not funny but this kid had the place in stitches and all the staff running after him .

bran · 15/11/2009 22:28

She's old enough now to understand reins or pushchair. Hold up the reins and point to the pushchair with the other hand. If she screams or goes limp with the reins on then she goes straight in the pushchair. If you give in to her tantrum and take the reins off then you're just teaching her that tantrumming works, so she'll do it again.

Ear plugs might help.

DS was a runner and wasn't too keen on reins, but he did quite like wearing his cuddly monkey. It was like these.

cory · 16/11/2009 07:33

agree with bran- dd went in the pushchair if she couldn't walk nicely

had some massive pushchair tantrums which I ignored

PrincessToadstool · 16/11/2009 07:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Caz10 · 16/11/2009 21:54

OK, thanks all, lots to try! I notice a great improvement in her speech/understanding over the past few weeks so hopefully we are getting to a point where I can "negotiate" a bit more easily - the understanding just hasn't been there till now.
moaningminnie she also likes to voice every thought..."dd RUN, dd RUN!"....groan

She has also learned to say "Mummy no TOUCH" with alarming ferociousness whenever I try to grab her hand - instantly makes me feel like a child abuser and I let go through embarrassment...

OP posts:

Original poster

Caz10 · 16/11/2009 21:56

Oh, and re the going back in the buggy - anyone got tips on how to fold a totally rigid toddler in half to get her in there?!

OP posts:

IMoveTheStarsForNoOne · 16/11/2009 21:59

Only thing that works here (23mo too) is 'hold my hand or you're going in the buggy'. again...'hold my hand' him: No no no.

'OK then, buggy it is (lifting him in)'

Noooo... HAND! he screams. 'OK, you can walk if you hold my hanf' (said at eye level, a la supernanny)

Sometimes have to do this 2-3 times, but if you're extra strict with it it should work.

He walked home from town with me yesterday, along busy roads, past the park (!!!), 2 miles in total, holding my hand the whole way (not smug, just proud - first time he's done it after MUCH perseverance)

SazzlesA · 16/11/2009 22:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

IMoveTheStarsForNoOne · 16/11/2009 22:02

Caz - the folding in half thing is easier if you hold them behind the knees and fold from there, IYSWIM - if they can't straighten their legs, it's much harder for them to remain rigid. DS HATES it when I do this though

when is your DD 2? My DS is 2 on the 30th.

Original poster

Caz10 · 16/11/2009 22:06

2 on the 9th - not long!! Well done on the walk home, that sounds like heaven. She has mastered NO HAND NO HAND too at the same volume as NO BAG...I think I might just need to develop a higher tolerance level for public tantrums if I'm going to get anywhere, I tend to chicken out a bit I suppose.

OP posts:

JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 16/11/2009 22:15

How to get a rigid toddler into a buggy? well, mine's not TOO persistant yet, but the trick is to dump them in quickly then grab the crotch strap and pull it up tightly, so when they go to arch their back they can't (so much) then quickly clip them in whilst avoiding flailing limbs.

My ds is 2.3 and he will bolt. I get a bit of a loony vibe off him! lol He's not usually daft at all, but something happens when we get outside, he just wants to GO, and FAST!

I keep making small trips to playgroup/corner shop with him holding my hand and getting LOTS of praise and rewards like a lolly or a cbeebies mag in the hopes that we can slowly build it up til he's not so tempted to run.

pointydogg · 16/11/2009 22:16

attach reins

practise hefting child around under the arm whilst wearing a grimace

only go shopping alone

learn to wrestle without embarrassment

IMoveTheStarsForNoOne · 16/11/2009 22:17

Yeah.. I know what you mean. I did have to tolerate extreme screaming and shouting. Just don't give in.

if she really wants to walk, rather than being in the buggy, she'll learn to hold your hand.

I find that it helps if I let DS walk without holding my hand in areas where it's safe for him to do so, on the understanding that he comes back to me. Any failing to disobey means straight in the buggy. He understands, it just takes a LOT of perseverance.

Don't worry about strangers staring at you

I actually get a smug sense of achievement if I don't give in to a tantrum... not that I'm a stubborn cow or anything

Original poster

Caz10 · 16/11/2009 22:19

pointydog I have point 2 on your list down to a fine art! Need work on the others though (and DH's help on point 2...)

OP posts:

pointydogg · 16/11/2009 22:27

well done. The lift is important.

dd2 didn't grow out of bolting until she was 4.

MoominMymbleandMy · 16/11/2009 22:37

I've got one of those and you have my sympathy.

In public places all conversations with me are very limited because I have one eye on the bolter and I need to be ready to run if he finds an exit.

If he won't walk holding my hand (with animal backpack and rein as back up in case of darts for freedom) he goes in the sling. So actually getting to and from places isn't a problem. The bolting when we get there is.

Sputnik · 16/11/2009 23:02

This made me laugh.
I fid it helps to take them somewhere they can run free for half an hour or so, helps them get it out of their systems.

Flip

1 2