Today i was a terrible Mum, help with with a terrible 2 please?

[BlueBumedFly]

OK, today I was terrible, dreadful and utterly hideous. However, I so was my toddler.

She is 2.6 and has gone from silent sulks to full on screaming if I:

• do anything to help, like driving the car
• make her food
• put on the wrong dvd
• look the wrong way

etc etc. As for bedtime well for the love of everything holy she is desperately hideous.

Today, after 1.5 hours running round soft play and a tantrum filled visit to the supermarket she decided on no lunchtime nap. Now, this is the child who passes out for 2.5 hours flat on a non-nursery day. On Nursery days 1.5hrs.

So, by 3pm she is beyond tired, won't eat as obviously food would help the situation (she is a dreadful eater) and had hideous tantrums as her playdate dared to sit in the wrong place, stand in the wrong place.... well, you get the idea.

Last weekend we went away on a short break with her grandparents. Since then she has been just horrid. Where is my funny child gone?

She does NOTHING that I ask and now I have run out of patience and I am a horrible shouty Mum.

PLEASE any advice, how do I make myself stay calm, when she throws herself down do I just walk away? Do I ignore the constant 'no' answer to every request or do I try to discipline?

As for getting dressed.........

Please someone give me a good slap, remind me she is a normal toddler and this too shall pass?

you're not an awful mum and she is normal. Thankfully DS has passed through that stage but we're onto new trials and tribulations. I would try to ignore most of the behaviour and when she does something good/what you want act as though she's just won an oscar.

failing that bribery worked well for us.

I have seen a great improvement in my DS since reading How to Talk So Kids will Listen.

I recognise all of the things you mention in your op, I think they are common toddler behaviors, only some children seem to exhibit ALL the behaviors in one day. It is unbelievably wearing.

Although things are a lot better since I read the book, I have had a truly shit day today so I can sympathise. I generally have better days mostly now though.

Thanks guys, just dropped a mobile phone (heavy one) on my toe and cried and cried. My husband was due back tonight but has had to stay away due to the M40 being practically shut and the weather.

I had to go back up to her 4 times after putting her down for bed and she had tears on her face and did not like it.... well stop crying then!!!

HC - will try that book, I know I have it somewhere,... need to make more of an effort to deal with this stage I think

Chou - will try harder to celebrate the good stuff too

bump

I had a very similar day with my DS (2.5). Its NO to everything...I have to chase him around the house to get him dressed, bribe with sweets to get him to leave the house, even watching telly (which he loves and would normally give me 5 mins peace) has become a battle as he insists on requesting programmes I know are not recorded, or even particular episodes of his favourite programme!!! I'm 39 weeks pg at the moment so my patience/energy is rather thin at the moment.

I took him to a soft play this morning to wear him out and he lasted 10 mins and then wanted to wander around outside, have a lolly, look at the builders etc etc. I was watching the other toddlers playing nicely and wondering what I was doing wrong.
He also refused to nap and ended up being over tired and screaming and refusing to put his nappy on for bed (he's flaked out and not even in his PJs - that was one battle too far for me).

His behaviour is normally worse when I know he is hungry or tired but he's not developed enough to tell me that's the case, even though his speech is really good.

Even though its been a shocker of a day, there has also been plenty of laughs from things he has said and done during the course of the day. I just try to concentrate on them and not to dwell on the other stuff.

As long as I can keep the food/sleep on an even keel things are normally more manageable as well I find.

Preggers - bless, we have shared a day!

Retrospectively I know she may have been hungry but as she can never be faffed to eat and it is a power play it exaserbates behaviour for the worse. She must have been hungry as resorted to eating toast in the bath in the end. That an no sleep, well, I should have expected as much.

You are right though, I must focus more on the funny bits.

How do you make yourself stay calm when they are shouting and tantruming?

I don't always manage to stay calm (clearly, as he will often say to me 'How many times do I have to tell you...' or 'Stop being so rude to me mummy', which is obviously gets off me). He told me off in the supermarket today which made the checkout lady laugh.

Most of the time I just walk away into another room until he has calmed down or until I am really to go back to him and try to placate him with a hug and a kiss. Sometimes I tickle.

I must admit to not being good at the whole placating thing today, I had just had enough.

Everything you say sounds like my 2.3 year old who has never actually been a particularly demanding boy. It's just very wearing when they have one tantrum and screaming fit after another some days but then he can go a week or more without a whimper so I can't complain too much.

I do sympathise though. All the chasing around and him not doing as I say is just normal and I just ignore it and grab him when he get's close enough for me to dress him! He is a pretty terrible eater too.... always has been. Not particularly fussy, will try most things but the amount he eats is shockingly small. He just can't be bothered to sit still for long enough to eat more than a few mouthfulls of anything and Lord help me if I try to feed him. He wouldn't even tolerate that when weaning so had to let him feed himself.

It's very tiring having a toddler who says NO all the time and it doesn't matter where we say we are going ds will stand there and say 'NO I DON'T WANT TO GO TO GRANDAD'S/ SWIMMING/ PLAY GROUP' etc etc. I just ignore it as he's just trying to voice an opinion and thankfully doesn't scream about it (yet).

Just try and stay calm and remember that chocolate rasins for her and a glass of wine for you can work wonders! .

Smiley - thank you, I feel much better today knowing everyone else is at it too !!