Does anyone have experience of helping a clumsy, badly co-ordinated child through the early years of school?

[Aranea]

Sorry, I think this is rather long...

My dd1 is 4.10 and in Reception. I suspect she might be slightly dyspraxic - she didn't learn to jump till she was well over 3, and has only recently learned to hop with the help of a physiotherapist. She still can't skip. She has I think some sensory perception issues - hates swings & roundabouts - and won't jump off anything higher than a single step. She runs clumsily and slowly. She also flaps when she is excited.

But she seems to be settling into school well and enjoying herself, much to my relief. I'm trying to get her to do physical activities which will aid her co-ordination and strength, so she is having swimming lessons (slow progress, but progress!) and she has just started ballet.

She has seen a private physio who gave her exercises which helped enormously, but I when we finished that programme of physio and reached the goals (hopping, jumping forwards etc etc) I didn't see much point in forcing her to continue doing exercises every day on top of now having to go to school. The physio suggested that a review might be helpful a month or two after starting school, so I asked the GP to refer to an NHS physio as I'm out of funds now. He did, but when we got there the physiotherapist said she wasn't a paediatric specialist and couldn't really help. She said maybe the paediatric team could help, but when she called them up it turned out that they didn't deal with developmental issues. So I don't know where to go on that front.

She has also seen an OT who did an initial assessment but now seems to have disappeared completely despite having promised to do a home visit and a school visit.

I have seen the school's SENCo, who wants dd1 to have a full assessment at the child development centre so that they can get some kind of diagnosis which will enable the school to put in a programme of therapy.

I suppose what I would like to know is whether this is wise. Obviously what I really want is for dd1 to feel confident and happy, and if she does then it doesn't really matter if she can skip or whatever. On the other hand I know that she feels more confident socially and generally if she feels able to do things physically. But if the school start setting her targets like learning to skip, will that just make her feel she stands out from the other children?

I'm so sorry that this is a big ramble and thank you if you have got to the end of it. I am feeling very uncertain as to whether I should just be pressing on with the 'fun' activities like ballet or whether she will really benefit from a more 'medicalised' approach and hence the school's input.

Thank you for any thoughts.

In our experience it was invaluable getting the school on board, my son is dyspraxic too. The School didn't really pay attention at first and he was falling behind with writing. I pushed to see the special needs teacher and we put together an IEP ( individual education plan) and he started in a small motor skills group which really helped. I know what you mean about not wanting them to stand out or have to do extra but they do stand out a bit anyway and our school really did help.

Thank you WorkInProgress, that's good to hear. I think the thing that's making me nervous is that the school is rather vague about exactly what they could put in place for my dd. I suppose that's fair enough without a formal assessment, but it makes it hard for me to decide what's best.

Once you have spoken to the school they will be able to give you a much better idea of what they can do to help. You won't have to accept anything that you are unhappy with -I very much doubt it will be teaching her specific skills, it will be probably be some motor skills exercises and maybe IT work if this helps her. Good luck

I agree with WorkinProgress - you need to get the school involved. My DS has dyspraxia and all his therapy is done at school. The OTs here are very stretched and only see him once a year, leaving a programme of therapy that the trained LSA's do with him 4 times a week.

I completely understand you don't want your DD to stand out by having to do some of the therapy at school but it isn't really a big deal ime. Children seem to be taken out of class all the time to do work in small groups or individually at my DSs' schools and this would just be another reason for your DD to go out. Children with no obvious disability/learning difficulty get extra time for handwriting if they are struggling so why not your DD? Besides, it is unlikely that there is at least one other children in the class who has some degree of SN so she won't be alone in struggling with certain things and getting extra help.

A mixture of fun activities and structured therapy is always best. We were told horse riding, swimming and maybe martial arts would be good options. Probably dance would be good too although DS1 has shown no interest. Team sports are usually too challenging to begin with.

If it were me I would be pressing the OT for the home and school visits too. Sometimes referrals and appointments go missing - it happened to us once and the OT assumed we didn't want her help any more.

I would also be getting the school to help now. They shouldn't need a dx to help out. My DS's school didn't. He started handwriting practice and was given extra help with PE before he had his DX.

It is a struggle though - nothing is handed to you on a plate usually. Sorry you are having to deal with this too.

Good luck.

Thank you both. I am chasing the OT, physio, everyone I can think of.

Niecie - can I ask what sort of help specifically was given with PE before his dx and at what age? The teacher seems unsure what targets to set, and I'm not aware that any other help is being given. No idea what to expect really.

I worry for her a bit because I know she has been knocked down in the playground by bigger children a couple of times, and at a birthday party recently she had to participate in relay races which she found very confusing and upsetting really.

Aranea - sorry only just got seen this.

DS was dx at 5.3, whilst he was in Yr 1.
The help he got and continues to get is the support of the TA. TBH in Yr R and Yr 1 a lot of that was help getting changed more than anything but the TA is generally there to remind him what he is supposed to do (dyspraxics can't cope with complex instructions plus he can't seem to direct his body to do what he is supposed to be doing without somebody breaking it down for him), to be close by to support him in things he finds difficult and also to lend a hand in balancing or climbing and that kind of thing.

I have never seen what they do obviously but I know that if, for example, he is at the park climbing on the climbing frame, he can't get very far unless I physically guide his foot to where it is supposed to be for the first few attempts. I assume the TA does the same. She also protects him from the roughness of team sports and encourages him since he gives up if it gets too strenuous (he might take after his mother there though ).

Your DD's experience of the relay race reminds of Sports day which is a real trial and I have to stop myself stepping in to help out because he invariably changes lanes or forgets what he is supposed to be doing and it is hard on the team. However, my DS is 9 now (Yr 5) so I have to step back a bit to preserve some of his dignity whilst at the same time getting close enough to help out.

I hope you get some joy from the OT.

Thank you so much for that. It's so helpful to have a clearer picture.

You mention difficulty in following complex instructions, and I am thinking this must have been dd's problem with the relay race. Does this apply in other areas, or just physical? I am wondering whether it will affect her academic achievement and her intellectual development.

Yes it does apply to other areas - maths particularly. Dyspraxic children can have difficulties with following the processes for example.

I have a good book which I will root out later. Would do it now but I have to dash out - sorry.

Have you read anything or seen the Dyspraxia Foundation website (just so I don't try and tell you something your already know!).

Thank you, I hadn't seen the website and am now trawling through it.

I've been reading the website and am now quite scared and depressed. I had actually started another thread because the teacher said she had withdrawn a bit socially, and dd1 tells me she is spending most of her time playing with invisible friends.

I'm wondering if she needs help socially but have no idea what kind of help anyone could give her. Has this been an issue for your ds at all?

Hi Aranea - my ds2 is dyspraxic and it hasn't affected him intellectually at all - he's in the top groups for everything and is G&T in maths

He's just turned 10 and is in Y5 and is miles better than I thought he'd be compared to what he was in reception. He can now ride a bike, play cricket, swim etc - he looks clumsy, but he can do it. He still has problems processing complex instructions so needs things to be broken down into more manageable chunks for him

He still flaps when he runs and his handwriting is awful, but he can now do joined-up handwriting even though we were told in y2 that he'd never be able to manage it.

I know you worry that your dd will stand out if she has extra help, but tbh they stand out anyway and a lot of the children will be being taken out for different groups etc so the other kids won't notice

You do really need the input of the school though

good luck

just to add - he's got better socially - he's lucky in that he has a very stable large group of friends who've all known each other since nursery and they all accept ds - older kids who don't know him can be pretty mean though and I do worry about his transition to secondary

Sorry again Aranea - I am really not doing very well at keeping up with this thread, am I?

The two books that I have that I found to be very useful are this one which is a very practical approach with ideas on what you can do to help. I had forgotten it was so pricey though!

Also this one which isn't too heavy.

WRT to the social side my DS has borderline AS as well (much debate about whether he has AS but that is a whole other thread) so he does have trouble with the social side of things too.

There isn't really much you can do about it but I do think that if he had more confidence in his physical abilities then he would join in more with other children and their games. He is terrible at team sports for example and at the age of 9 this is not good. The only help he has had with the social side of things is to be part of a friendship group at school where he works together with another boy who has similar problems on turn taking and making conversation. Processes again - taking turns requires you to know where you are in relation to another person both physically and socially iyswim.

I agree with mimsum that the transfer to secondary is going to be scary though, especially as all OT support stops at the end of Primary. All the more reason to get as much help as possible before that happens, I feel.

Thanks for that, Niecie.

I have finally managed to track down the OT, who is going to do a school visit and finish off his assessment.

Do you think I would still need to do as the SENCo suggests, and get a fuller assessment than just the OT one? I don't really know what it would entail, or whether the OT assessment is enough to go on.

Because of DS's possible AS we had a referral from the GP to the paed who basically decided what sort of problem he might have and then referred him on to the OT, SALT, psychologist etc. That was DS's full assessment - took a long time - about 18 mths. At the end of it all, all the professionals got together to come up with a dx - well that was the theory anyway. Didn't work out like that in the end but, as I say, another thread entirely. Seeing the OT wasn't enough for us.

You could go down the route of a full assessment but you could wait until you know what the OT has to say. He might well have some concerns about her social difficulties or he might not - there is such an overlap between a lot of conditions that they are aware of more than the dyspraxia and they should be able to see how it fits in with a bigger picture. I think he would refer you on if he had any concerns beyond the dyspraixa.

Or you could just save time and get your DD assessed via the school if they are willing to refer. Chances are you will see the OT before you get the full assessment anyway (try and get to see him on the day he does his observation to chat, don't wait for the full report as this could be ages away). If he finds your DD is OK then nothing lost and if not, then she will get some help sooner rather than later and you will have started the ball rolling.

It is so hard to know what to do isn't it? It is a really steep learning curve when you find that something is not quite right. You have my sympathy.