Anyone heard of explosive child or using Plan B

[helenruth]

DS 6yrs aggressive outbursts since he was 3yrs have become increasingly more aggressive. Have tried behaviour charts, rewards and making sure he gets enough exercise and quality time. Have just started reading a book on the explosive child which describes some children as having a learning disability when it comes to handling frustration and change. Instead of labelling it advices parents to use the Plan B approach which teaches a child how to handle frustration. Wondered if anyone else has used this approach and how effective it was. My son seems so unhappy during these episodes has even said he wants to kill himself which is exptremely upsetting for us all, just want him to be happy!

Did get the book, in desperation at one point! Must admit i havent read it all. BUT the one point i took from it which has been a lifesaver is that inflexible child plus infelxible adult equals explosion. Not saying this is your problem. Just for us keeping this in my head and thinking around the reasons for meltdowns helped a great deal. Especially if your child is experiencing the world and its demands differently than most, and is getting very frustrated trying to be "good" but somehow has a much lower tolerance for frustation than usual.

I also began to note meltdowns and the circumstances they occured in at the end of each day and spotted when they were likely to occur- certain times of day, certain situation etc. This helped a lot with preventative action.

not read the book but very tempted to get it- i feel your pain. DD is now 8 and the last year or two have been much easier - but my god the first 6 years were a...what's that euphemism... ah yes, a challenge

i am pretty flexible so tried to work around her amazing INflexibility, rigid need for control, routines and knowing-what-is-going-to-happen-next. time has been the biggest help - that and a LOT of talking about frustration and the triggers for it. the explosions have been so numerous and so spectacular that i have tried to block most of them out but we have lived through some real fireworks at this end. good luck with your little fireballs!

ps my guru was mary sheedy kurchinka (author of 'the spirited child') - very helpful in understanding your child better - slightly less so in putting together management strategies, i found