the pasta jar method - advice please

[mrshibbins]

I am just about to start doing this, all other carrot and stick methods having failed. But I am not sure of the following:

• how big a jar?

• what type of pasta?

• how many bits of pasta?

• how many get put in for tasks done well?

• how many get taken out for rudeness / naughtiness?

I'm thinking that a full jar will gain her either:

• family crazy golf
• trip to cinema
• trip to macdonalds

what do you give?

advice and anecdotes please!!

I don't know
But if your DC's old enough for them, what about doing marbles and they get to keep the marbles after a certain time?

just one girl 8 1/2 and she's not into marbles ...

bump

We use a pesto/tartare sauce jar and its one in one out - I've got one as well for when I break a house rule (usually no shouting).

So if my ds is really nice to his sister then he gets one and if hes rude to me then one comes out.

When we get to the top (he's nearly there) then theres going to be a ben 10 toy...

oh and its penne...

never take them out

Doing this at the moment to encourage DD not to lie in bed and then wee in the mornings.
jar = jam jar
pasta - mixture of wheels, penne and twirls (in different colours)
two pieces per dry bed
never take any pieces out

Full jar will get her a treat of her choice. Usually take it to children's book shop and 'pay' with it.
So far no wet beds since we started!

health visitor suggested this to me today but said to start with a tiny jar and a small treat to get them used to the idea (mind you my ds is 3 and your dd is 8 so maybe jar could be bigger). Never take them out, it is only a positive praise thing. She said not to use it to bribe them to be "good" but rather to help you notice all the good things they are already doing and in theory the knock on effect will be more good behaviour.

I have a normal size jam jar but this is a bit big (though my ds only 3.5). I tend to give a few bits of pasta at a time to make up for it. Tend to only take away 1 at a time though to keep it more positive than negative IYSWIM.

I let DS choose the treat each timethe jar is emptied.

Oh my goodness - stumbled over this thread, got a colemans jar and some twisty pasta, called it the listening jar and two days on we have nearly a full jar and a much happier situation! Two pieces of pasta if she listens and does first time, one if reminder given. Veterans of this method - How long til we (and I need it as much as dd to remind me to be positive) can do without the jar?

so far so good ... up to a point ... let's see how it goes when the novelty wears off ...