DS - who, for the most part, I'm not too worried about - has a temper which stumps my disciplining capacity. Once he has blown, he is so full of venom towards me, and thrashes about around the house, and I feel at a loss as to how to handle it.
Specifically, I need some help with what happened this morning:
- DS was up in the night for a while, which tired us both out
- He woke up too late to play/watch TV before school
- DS was furious about this, snarling at me that it was my fault for not getting up
- He called me stupid (a no no as far as I'm concerned)
- I told him, calmly, that a stupid mum can't help him get dressed or get a drink
- I said when he could treat me respectfully, I would help him
- He told me to bugger off, twice
- He spend the rest of the morning (not long by this time!) slamming doors, sulking and snarling
- I tried to keep my distance
- I said I would think today about what I would do about how rude he was this morning
- He sulked his way to school (for which we were late), where I left him
So when he gets home, what do I do about this? Because it was about TV, I'm inclined to say none for the rest of the day - with the message being that, when you try and bully your way into getting something, as he did this morning, well, you just don't get it.
In the moment, I have tried restraining - when he's in wrecking-the-joint mode - and it makes things ten times worse. I have tried redirecting him to expressing his anger healthily - pretty futile. I have told him it's OK to be cross/grumpy but not to take it out on me/the house. I bang on about respect ...
But otherwise, I don't really know what to do. I try to stay calm (which I don't always manage, because the rudeness and lack of respect make my blood boil). I don't want to allow myself to be terrorised. But really, nothing's changing.
Any advice? Thanks.