My baby cries around other babies - so worried

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Hi

My son is 8 months and always cries around other babies. He is fine with them until they make any noise and then he sobs totally out of control. Has anyone else experienced this? Any advice on what to do. I will need to place him in nursery in a few months and am really nervous to do it as he gets so so upset at even a baby being friendly. Poor little guy.

Thanks xx

does he have much experience around other children and babies?

If not, it's probably just unfamiliarity. I'd join a mother and baby group and try to go several times a week.

Yep, my DD does this but only with one of her little friends she is fine with some babies but when my friend's DD cries she is seemingly terrified and clings on to me. I agree with theyoungvisiter, going to a baby group will get your DS used to being around other babies.

Hi

I'll try and get him mixing more. We do see a few mums with babies once a week but he just breaks his heart as soon as one of them gets any volume going - but I'll persevere. Its hard though as the other mums have started to ignore me and we are starting to not get invited to things. I think they know Thomas will be upset all the time. I hope they don't take it personally as I have said its not their children and its just that he is sensitive.

Thanks
xx

I know it's easy to say don't be worried. My ds was like this (second child - so it wasn't like he wasn't used to other children as dd was always around!).

All I can say is persevere. It may get no better and you will probably find yourself getting frustrated at times (it's hard not to I think!) but I think it's something you have to keep at.

I would also suggest you have an extended period of settling in at the nursery and in your shoes, I'd speak to them now about it.

Thanks. I wonder if he is a bit noise sensitive generally as we are quite quiet at home as my husband is away a lot. He doesn't even like toys that play tunes or sing. But when we play together we make lots of noise and that seems ok - can't quite find the logic. But hopefully it will phase out like you say. Thanks for all your help and advice.

Nikki

My first post so bear with me!
I am also experiencing problems with my little boy around babies. Any kind of noise they make sets him off. It is an uncontrollable sob and he shakes and his heart pounds - it is so hard for me to hear it and is not like any other times he cries. It can be really embarrassing around other Mums that look at me like I am a bad mother as I cannot control my child.
Nothing seems to calm him down for about 10-15mins and as soon as he hears the noise again it starts him off again.
He used to cry at the clinic when I took him for weighing when other babies were crying but a rattle would calm him down.
He is now 15 months old and it's still a problem.
Came on here today looking for advice from others and to check I'm not the only one. Sometimes I feel so down about it I join in the crying as I don't know what else to do.
Think I need to contact my health visitor and have a chat.

My ds was like this until he was about 18 months old. He hated children and babiues getting too close to him and if they squealed or cried he used to sob. I think it's because young children and babies are very loud and unpredicatable which can be unsettling. Keep ressuring him and talking to him, telling him what the other baby is ding and how cute he or che is etc. My ds is 2.4 now and when a baby cries near him he says 'awww lets give you a cuddle... poor baby crying' bless him. He gradually grew out of crying back at them!

Ladies - it's ok. For some babies around 7-8 months upwards the world does become a very scary place. It's nothing you've done, no refelection on you - it's just how they are finding their place within it and they don't like noise beyond their control. They will grow out of it and everybody has something like this - personally I'm the mother of one child who didn't potty train till 3.5, one who refused to discuss the imminent arrival of a sibling but then was lovely when she arrived, one who contradicts everything, two who are TERRIFIED of Santa, one who is scared of dogs etc etc. That's how it goes.

(I don't have 6 children - just 3 - with more than one character trait each!)

My DS used to be like this if another child cried or looked like they might cry/be upset. It carried on until he started nursery at 13 months and he started the same time as about 4 others so they all used to cry and he stopped doing it in the end! He did it when we were in Spain on holiday and this poor Spanish couple thought he was loony as he just burst into tears when their DD started to make whingy noises, we couldn't explain why he suddenly burst into tears!

Sorry I am so late to this but this is EXACTLY what I am going through with my 11 month old. We have done baby groups from 5 months, at first she would cry if another baby cried. If another baby got too close to her or god forbid touched her she would scream. She has just started at nursery and as the others are walking/crawling and she isn’t, she is having real issues with crying and feeling uncomfortable. She has the best time just playing with the nursery staff but it’s the other kids that set her off. Just to add that you aren’t alone!! And it’s nothing you have done, I have done the baby groups and it hasn’t made her any better I don’t think!

Hi @Hja1991, I am now going through this with my little one who is 10 months and has just recently started nursery. It seems that she likes playing with the nursery staff but sobs when any of the other children make any noise. My daughter can't crawl/walk yet.
Did your little one get used to the noise from the other children in the end?

My daughter was often like this as a baby and would cry at new adults too / not let anyone hold her - she's now 2.5 and really happy, sociable and affectionate. She's still a little sensitive, jumpy and easily scared by things but not in a debilitating way. I was also worried about her nursery settling and tbh it did take a little longer than some of her peers to settle in and she still struggles with a new room / new staff member. But she loves nursery and has tonnes of friends. I found the nursery were really good with her, very gentle, they'd take her for quiet time if she needed it and once she developed attachments to a grown up or two she was fine as they could comfort her. Perhaps if you're still worried when he starts you can suggest to them the need for him to have a little quiet time and don't be shy about phoning in throughout the day to see how he's getting on. If he has a comfort object like a teddy or dummy you can send that in too. I'm sure he'll grow out of it and come out of his shell when he's there - they have a way of surprising you! Good luck

@Hja1991 have things got easier for your girl. My boy is like this and I'm worried about what he will be like at nursery! X

@NKffffffffb5aed25bX124884563af have things got easier ? Going through the same with my boy now x

@creativemummy did things get easier for you x

@Alice4417 sorry to bother you but you are the most recent person here. I’m currently going through this with my 9 month old daughter. Did things get better for you? She’s supposed to start nursery in a few months and I’m panicking. Thanks x

Hi yes he's got much better and is very happy playing with kids these days now. In fact he's often loud and makes the other smaller kids cry from being too in their face ! How the tables have turned !!!