I just cant control my son

[fernie3]

my son is nearly three. He has always been hard to control and has been reffered to some early intervention team after he had his 2 year check because he couldnt do any of the activites. Today there was an event at my daughters school and I had to take him as I dont have any family to look after him. He was awful he shouted, ran around and was out of control. I have never been so humiliated in my life and I really felt this moment of hatred for him which I am ashamed to admit. He just doesnt listen at all, he doesnt understand and he doesnt care what you do to him.

The HV is coming back next month for a different kind of development check but although people say heis doing badly no one has told me why or offered any kind of advice.

The only think thats keeps him still in the house is watching certain dvds, I know he shouldnt but he is so difficult to deal with, he wont sit and play with toys even with full attention from me, he wont draw,paint or do any kind of activity. All he wants to do is run around OR just pull at me - as in pulling on my face,poking my eyes etc
He destryod things, my other two children are always in harms way.
I dread the days because i know I have to spend them with him which is so sad because he is my little boy and I do love him. He also has some lovley little traits - he saus he loves me and always gives me a kiss but he is just so draining.

does anyone have any advice on this?

Personally I would go with the flow and let him watch the dvds. Try not to let other people make you feel uncomfortable and horrible. It sounds like you are doing the best you can. Does he get enough exercise do you think? Does he play with your other children? I think it's probably a phase - but hopefully someone with more experience will come along with some advice.

Good luck

fernie is a pediatrician part of the intervention team you mentioned?

Firstly, I would let him watch a DVD and get himnice and chilled out.

Then I would try some sort of construction game, where you build towers and he knocks them over CRASH.

How do you react when he poke at your eyes?

Icandothat - yes it is at the hospital with a pediatrician.

colditz when he pokes at me etc I hold his hand tell him no and move away, if he keeps doing it he goes and sits on the stairs. I always try not to lose my temper with him because it really does make things alot worse although sometimes it is hard not to lose your temper with someone who is actually hurting you. He doesnt care he gets off the stairs or whatever and does it all over again.

Can you say what the pediatrician has suggested so far?

we havent seen him yet, we are waiting for an appointment but I think there is a long waiting list because we have been waiting 5 months already and havent heard anything.

the HV has said that when she did the first check he was behind in understanding, speech, motor control and his attention was so bad she couldnt do any further activites. His nursery say he is " a handful" BUT that he is not a badly behaved child which I would agree with.
Although as I say he does pull at you it is not in an intentionally violent way, he just forgets what hes doing.

Hope the appointment comes soon ... you cold always check with your GP and ask if they are any wiser on how long it may take. So many things cause behaviour issues. Meanwhile has he also been referred to an audiologist for a hearing test. This was the first assessment my ds had, he was 3 at the time and had speech delay.

If he just wants to run around, how often do you manage to get into a big space and let him run around? Or you run around with him? Is this possible? There is nothing wrong with wanting to run around A Lot aged 2/3.

I realise there may be more to this and you need to hear from the experts, but in the meantime could you let him just run about and play running about sort of games?