Can anyone shed light/give an opinion as to why by ds gets such a hard time?

[birdbox]

I am starting to think it may be something deeper. I apologise for name changing but I'd rather not share this with RL friends (who also use the board) I don't blame anyone for thinking troll but I would be happy to get some insight and hopefully someone can help?

My ds is not a PFB, he is such a kind, caring, considerate child. He normally thinks of others before himself. He has never shown a greedy/self absorbed streak like my others Compared to my others he is also very academically bright, able to read well and above his age, very capable with numeracy too. His teachers are delighted with him in that respect.

My heart breaks for him because he has no connection with any other children other than his siblings (who are not at the same school as him so no support there)and it's not just at school- other children seem to sense how vulnerable he is and take advantage- it's like they can smell it. he appears to have zero self esteem and I can't understand why.

He is only six but I can't help but compare him to his siblings and his peers- he delights me in the way that he sees the world and the way he talks to other adults but he can't seem to engage other children. This has happened from very early on including nurseries/reception/playdates.

I have had to go to his school on other matters before and I have seen him tearful and on his own on more than one occasion which was addressed by his school but something is bothering me, it feels like something is up.

Any other similar stories or ideas on how one helps with self esteem issues would be very welcomed by a worrying and emotional mum.

INPP helps with APD too, am saving up for some treatment for mine!

APD?

ausitory processing disorder.

My ears hear fine but my brain isn't so good at translating it..........

I can't cope with background noise and writing down directions. I spend evenings out in pubs going pardon and I can't write down words, numbers or directions that are red out to me!

cargirl my DS has just been diagnose with APD (sorry for hijack). Please heeeelllp (sorry I am getting desperate, can you tell?)

Mine is very mild so I managed to get a degree and professional qualifications no problems just don't talk to me in a noisy pub because I can't understand, I also watch TV with subtitles on as there are lots of pitches I struggle with

It's a brain thing and INPP brushing or other techniques can help improve it look at this link www.inpp.org.uk/learning_difficulties/auditory_processing_disorder.php and this one www.soundlearningsystems.co.uk/id13.html these are both "treatments" that can help the brain improve it's auditory processing ability.

It is often heridatory and my youngest dd has had johanssen sound therapy to improve her hearing issues and the difference was amazing in a very short space of time. Not sure if I can help you anymore?

not much to add, but your ds sounds very similar to my ds2 - he has mild asperger's and dyspraxia and finds a lot of social situations incredibly difficult

like you it makes me sad that the outside world really doesn't see the best of ds - the funny, kind, sensitive ds that I know - they see someone who never quite gets interactions right, who overreacts when teased/bullied, which of course makes him even more of a target ...

it has got better gradually (he's 9 now) and he's lucky that he's got a group of boys in his class who've known him since nursery and are very tolerant with his eccentricities, but we've got to start thinking about secondary soon and the thought makes me freeze inside

I'd definitely go to your GP and ask for help - they shouldn't dismiss your concerns, especially if you want to rule out dyspraxia

Mimsum, again lots of similarities and my ds does indeed go over the top when he is being teased, he will cry and scream and go into a rage, this is very entertaining if you have a few little shits at the school, you find those everywhere. I have tried all sorts of strategies but he just doesn't get it and cannot brush it off like other children.

Ok, I am no expert, but you could be describing a ittle boy I worked with in a primary school (my usual job when not SAHM is teaching assistant). He was definitely aspergers and dyspraxic, although with a bit more violence thrown in at times than you describe! His family were very dismissive and refused to acknowledge anything.

Most 6 year old boys (I am not suggesting he should be like most either btw, he sounds lovely!!) would not think to say those lovely things to their martial arts tutor.

Please talk to your GP, there are so many degrees of this.......I also hesistated in writing this to you, as A. I don't want to cause you any extra concern (although you know there is "something" because you have asked for help and B. I am only talking from past experience, albeit, quite a bit!!

I hope his school are a bit more supportive for you and that you find some useful help! I also hope I have come across in the right manner, as so often, when you are giving advice by just typing it can always be taken the wrong way.

Thank you Maxy.

Not in any way.

An eduational psychologist would also be able to help, but I don't know if a GP can refer - we always fo it through school.

Sounds like your DS's school is crap - so sorry they are being unsupportive. Maybe make an appointment to see the Head Teacher or write to the Chair of Governors. They are legally required to respond to your concerns.

With the greatest wish to be supportive and encouraging, I agree with a lot of what Maxy said, especially about what he said to martial arts instructors.

I really suggest you keep pushing for help and answers - you know your DS the best and know that he needs some kind of support and you are really doing the right thing for him on the long run.

Big hugs again to you all xx

Thank you cargirl. You are very kind