Ok, gimme the lowdown on two-and-a-half year olds, because I need to get a grip quick!

[phdlife]

we've been having a LOT of stress round here and I must've taken my eye off the ball for a second - all of a sudden he's stepped up a rung or six on the development ladder and I don't have much sense of what's going through his head any more.

for instance all of a sudden he cannot follow any simple commands, whereas he used to be helpful and cooperative. In fact he seems utterly unable to hear anything I say any more, no matter how I try to connect first. he's too busy being into EVERYTHING and I can't keep up, sudenly seem to spend the entire day putting things further out of reach, getting him down, stopping him writing on/poking/crushing his baby sister, etc etc.

It's been making me feel like I should consider some family daycare, partly to give me (and 6m-old dd) a break, partly so ds gets the stimulation/guidance that clearly I'm not managing to supply since I have to, y'know, cook dinner and stuff. Or am I just going bonkers now?

I know toddlers are like that, but I

Was literally only just saying the same things aboout DD2.She has gone from being the most mild mannered easy baby to a total tyrant in the last few months.
DD1 (3.9)was quite hard work but since starting reception a month or so ago is quite the little angel nowadays.DD2 (2.3) has taken over the mantel with gusto and I am beginning to wonder what I was complaining about with DD1!

The child doesnt listen and laughs when being told off.No disciplinary tactics have the slightest effect it seems and she does not care to bargain.
She climbs on anything and everything.
She seems to actually try to throw herself into the road at any given opportunity.
She wont go to bed (on average takes an hour to get her down)
She is getting quite cheeky.
She has developed a lovely habit of throwing herself on the ground and bellowing when asked to do anything she doenst want to.
And she Will NOT keep her coat on even when its freezing cold out.In fact she has taken to undressing herself at regular intervals.Right now for example she is wearing a long sleeve top and one sock and that is all she can be persuaded to keep on.Which is fine until we have to go out somewhere then an almighty battle will ensue.

DD1 has taken to shaking her head like a wise sage and saying 'DD2 is having one her of her episodes again' about 12 times a day.Today she added very sadly.'what can we do Mummy?' before going back to her colouring.

Honestly the child will have me on my knees before long.

Ariahrhod-I work 4 days too.I really look forward to my Friday with the girls but inevitably we are all so tired (me from work all week them from nursery and childminder) that none of us are on our best form and someone more often than not ends up in tears.And I include myself in that.

I have tried to make sure we dont try to do anything too taxing on Fridays sad as it seems.I used to take them out to the zoo or farm or whatever as thought it was important to make the most of our day off together but as everyone was knackered it was just lots of stress and not worth it.Now we mostly see friends on Fridays (but only ones we know very well who will not mind too mmuch if there are meltdowns) or else we do quieter things on our own, go to the park or do some baking or painting and what not.Gives us all a day to rest up a bit and avoids me losing it totally.

If I have lots of work to do at home I try to do it after they have gone to bed-can only manage an hour or so at the outside before the girls get fractious in the day time.Cant always be done though if Ive alot on or if DD2 is refusing to actually go to bed it can mean I dont get started till about 9 by which time am ready for bed myself.Its very frustrating sometimes.So difficult to get the right balance.

Thanks MrsB and Boys..., have now done that in the interim until she learns... (still optimistic )

TheGreatScootini have you borrowed my DD1? Pretty much permanently naked and yelling loudly. "spirited" is what my doting mother calls her, possessed maybe, yes...

TheGreatScootini - Unfortunately I actually work 5 days a week, just one of those I'm allowed to work from home. Which means I'm having to look after DD at the same time as trying to do a full day's work .. and it's murder. I don't manage to get much work done, AND DD plays up something chronic. Resulting in the aforementioned tears and grouches (hers and mine).

I suspect if I had the time to dedicate to her alone it would be a heck of a lot smoother, I think a lot of her "naughtiness" is down to boredom and seeking attention ... but since I don't have that time, I am stuck for an answer. Except alcohol perhaps, and I'm told it's bad practice to give that to a 2 year old

Spirited DD1 was described as spirited by a friend of mine once after she very kindly looked after her whilst I was at work for an afternoon.I havent unleashed DD2 on her yet for fear of what might happen.

Actually though I suppose that if DD1 is now ook ish there may also be hope for DD2.I am reckoning on about a year to 18 months more of this with her.Theres a comforting thought

That really is a nightmare.Can she go to preschool soon-think they can start at 2.5?That might give you a few hours of a morning at least?

If not alchohol for her why not for you?I find a gin always eases the situation a bit.

I joke of course.

I drink Vodka.Its undetectable on the breath

She actually moves from nursery to pre-school in January, full-time ... and am I counting the days? Yep ... and feeling even more of a bad mummy for doing so! sigh

Now if only I actually liked alcohol ... wouldn't stop the Wee Terror, but it might make me care less about it ;)

You can learn to like it believe me

I often feel bad for craving a bit of time on my own of a weekend-when all week I miss the girls I feel I should be with them as much as poss whilst I have the chance.

But then I guess if I didnt get the odd morning off from work and kids and house I would go completely mental and be no good to anyone at all.Not easy is it?

thank you for this thread
Will be back later to read

Some comfort here for me, was thinking of starting a thread tonight on similar.

DS 2.8 is spirited to the max. I have been in tears today just broken down by his relentlessness. Try all the tactics and end up feeling out of control and ineffectual. As it happens, he finished the day with hugs and lots of snuggles, but by God this wine was needed tonight!

The last month or so have seen his behaviour ramp up from strong willed and charming to devilish! Am hoping it peters out as quickly as it started.

Ah yes, here we are. DD today climbed, naked, onto her wooden play kitchen so she could get the milk out of the fridge herself.

There was about a week when she was big enough and confident enough to be left in a room on her own for a few minutes - she'd play or pretend to read and I'd unload the washing machine. Now that's too dangerous as I'll come back and find her climbing on her windowsill.

She has also started calling me a 'pooey'. (Which is actually hilarious but I feel like I somehow oughtn't to let it slip by.)

She has been with a childminder for 3 days a week, for over a year, wasn't told off more than once in the first year and has been sat down on the time out cushion 3 times in the last 3 weeks since turning 2 in september.

Pooey's a good one. Must teach my DD1 that. We only get 'fat bottom', 'poo poo' and 'monkey piggy'. She is also a climber and was cleaning her window (standing half-naked on her windowsill) with her baby sister's toothbrush and some toothpaste today

God, this thread is brilliant.
My 2.8yo DD has recently become feisty, stubborn, bossy, and entirely unmanageble. Bedtime now takes an extra hour, and she will no longer answer to her name, only to "Moo's Mummy" (Moo=fave soft toy).
It's like living with a very, very small teenager.

Ooh, and the worst thing is, DP will do his very rare looking after her on his own thing, and say she has been an angel, and I should just be a bit firmer.

She is lovely, just on her own terms. Potty use, brushing teeth, going to bed, etc, has to be a game, eg "I bet DD doesn't know how to sit on the potty, I bet she can't do it, what a shame because if she did sit on the potty she could watch some cbeebies" until she cries out "i can! I can do it!" and fights to be allowed to do it. Backfires if she agrees with me though - "no, I can't do it, I'm a tiny little baby"

My dd is 2.11 and has already sighed 'daddy, you just don't understand me'

Don't they call them threenagers?

I do think it hilarious when she throws herself to the floor in despair at some minor thing, it is like some bad soap or something!

"It's like living with a very, very small teenager."

That is so true! DS is 2 1/2 and has suddenly developed a defiant streak a mile wide. Current occupation of choice is throwing things off things. Anything will do - he can clear a bookshelf in about a second and a half and he cost me £30 the other day by throwing and smashing a bottle of our cat's essential and very expensive medicine. He has also taken to throwing handfuls of cat litter at Daddy and flinging himself bodily onto our dog (who is not the sort of dog who likes that sort of thing at all). I don't think he even knew the word 'no' until about a fortnight ago, but now it's virtually all we hear. It doesn't help that DH and I have both had flu for the past fortnight and I've not been able to adopt my usual default strategy of wearing him out on marathon dog-walks. I've never been so exhausted in my entire life. I can live with mess and chaos, but I have to be on my toes all the time to stop dog-related stupidness. I have two days' respite when he's at nursery all morning (where he's an absolute angel, apparently) and then sleeps all afternoon, but the rest of the week he's absolutely non-stop. He's still lovely, though, and I'm trying very hard to see the funny side.

It's 7:30 in the morning and my DD has managed to get naked three times, have two massive tantrums, kick me in the head (by "mistake" apparently. It can happen to anyone) and not quite make it to the potty in time.

Good times.

Mine got up in a perfectly happy mood, I took her for a wee and she sat on the loo just wailing so loudly and not telling me why. Did her wee fine, no probs there. But juist wouldn't stop wailing.

lol Puppy, dontcha just love the random wailings? Keep you on your toes don't they?

And the rest, Bubba

oh this thread is just getting better and better! - thanks for top tips re positive phrasing MrsB et al.

dh is just home from a fortnight away. The Change happened while he was gone, reckon he's in for a shock .

I'll tell you what else is scaring the crap out of me - dd is just 6m, and already they are firm Partners in Crime. Can't feed her while putting ds to bed any more as she's the one squirming and wriggling and giggling to get ds to play with her! NOT that he objects to this agenda

Some fabulous stories here, so glad it's not just me going through this!! But do you guys all get the endless tears and sad faces as well - or is that just me? That breaks my heart more than the naughtiness ... oh, and the fact that she keeps asking to see Daddy (he doesn't live with us, never has as we split up long before she was in the picture). And is as good as gold on the days she does see Daddy. I'm feeling increasingly like the mean horrible one, I know she's only little but it really does seem she prefers her Daddy to me and never plays up for him, only me! Come to that she doesn't play up for DP either

tantrums and bad behaviour are attachment behaviours and therefore will always be directed at the person/people closest to the little ones. at least we know we are the favourites!