Is 23 months to young to understand....

[sally78]

"if you don't have 1 spoon full of dinner you will have NO ice cream/pudding"??

DS won't even touch any 'dinners' he will only eat, bread and butter, sandwiches, snacks, cereal, pouches of Ella veg/fruit.

He totally ignores, stews, roasts, finger foods such as chicken strips/mini potatoes,fish fingers etc etc etc

We are seeing a Speech and langauge therepist who says not to push him to eat anything but 4 months later we have no progress and I'm getting the feeling he is very knowing!

Far too young imo. Most toddlers are picky eaters, I find it's best to go with the flow. Otherwise you're running the risk of it becoming a battle of wills and no adult will beat an almost two year old.

He sounds like your average two year old. Why are you even trying to bribe someone who may understand the language but can't cognitively process the deferred gratification of 'if I do this, that will happen'?

When he's three that will work, when he's two he's just going to have what he fancies. And what you are getting him to feed sounds absolutely fine.

I have battled with DD and food and you know what, I just haven't bothered trying with DS and he eats everything whereas DD is only just starting to learn to try things (she's three) because I put so much effort into trying to coerce her.

Stop worrying. It's annoying when you've cooked them something but it's not harmful. If you are really worried, get some vitamin and iron syrup.

TBH at this age I wouldn't even have the conversation. I certainly wouldn't offer any pudding aprt from fruit. Don't even turn it into a battle.

The best way to encourage him to eat is to eat together, - even if it is just you and he together and you are only having a snack. Offer small portions of easy to eat food, let him feed himself as much as possible. Limit the time to no more than 15 minutes, make sure there are no distractions, then end the meal.

Don't give anything else until the next meal time. Don't comment.

Don't set food up as a battle ground at this age. I also think it's not a brilliant idea to dichotomise food as good/bad ie this is food you have to eat, in order to earn this food you want to eat. Meals are not rewards.

I'm more worried as they keep telling me the less he chews the less his speech will come on? Tonight I put the stew in front of him along with things he will eat. Does this sound ok, or should there only be 1 option? I don't see the point in starving him! Your right its not worth the battles.

There was an excellent thread about eating problems recently, I don't know how to link to it, will try and find the title so you can search for it.

I think the best advice I had from it, was not to offer pudding at all! They won't starve, if they refuse dinner clearly not hungry so no pudding needed!

My DD (27 mths) is a fussy eater, but seems to like things she can easily eat herself with a spoon (cereal, yogurt) or her hands (pasta, bread, fruit, cheese, raw veg). She doesn't like most sorts of mixed up food (stews, soups) or any kind of meat or fish. I find not getting worked up about it very helpful!! (I have to just zen myself during meals). As long as I think of it in terms of carbs/protein/fat/nutrients her diet is fine - it just seems very dull to me!!

BTW what are you seeing a SALT for - does he have other problems that might impact his eating?

Oh that sounds like complete tosh sally. If he's eating fruit he's chewing. Are they saying the lack of use of molars will stop him speaking? Most two year olds don't even have all those teeth

My DS is the same age. He is also getting picky.

He has one option of meal ie just stew.

If he doesnt eaat hes main he doesnt get a yoghurt.

I know he understands but I try not to get into the battle.

If he doesnt eat tea he makes up for it next day at breakfast (the beaker of milk at bedtime hopefully means he doesnt go bed hungry as that would break my heart)

We are seeing a SALT as from a year he really did just stop eating, lost a great deal of weight......all started after an illness.

I get very confussing advice. Dietition says all cals are good, so ice cream is fine as thats what we are all eating for pudding, no such thing as good and bad foods etc. He should get two opportunities to eat something at each meal time.........you then I watch super nanny and its "if you don't want it, thats you lot" type approach. They do seem only though.

He can chew on things like bread, crackers, cereal, fruit, raw veg. My DD hates meat, will always refuse it, and that is the most obvious thing to chew! Maybe he just doesn't like it?

Am surprised a SALT is already worried about speech delay at only 23 mths - and although chewing is important, speech development comes from many other things too (my sister is a SALT so we talk alot about it!).

My DD has never chewed meat and we can't shut her up! (at 27 mths)

whomovedmychocolate I think they mean that often he sucks rather than chews and this means he won't be developing his jaw muscles. Bread for example he will soften with sucking then swallow.....

Oh and I would probably go with your dietician over super nanny, but that's just my opinion. The dietician has presumably actually seen your child, whereas SN advice is just general. She would be at the things in our house, so I just don't read about it anymore!

penona thanks good to know! He babbles all day long!

We are all giving advice from the POV of an average child with no health problems. Now you have told us that there are problems and your ds is under the care of a SALT AND a dietician due to previous illness and weight loss. That is why you are getting confusing advice.

Sorry - to sound critical, but it really is better to give all the info in the beginning, it sounds as if you should discuss this in more depth with the health professionals who are working with your ds.

It must be stressful and worrying for you, but maybe asking for more detailed advice from the dietician would be better?

agree with 3littlefrogs now I know about the weight loss problem. Ignore my post please

I think most 23 month olds would be able to understand that yes; it is up to you if you want to see that as setting food up as a battle. Persoanlly I feel children shouldn't have to eat everything on their plates but they have to eat enough and gentle encouragement isn't so bad.

Stew though is something that most children don't like - they don't like the "mixture" same with casserole I find.

Chompy foods can be fun, what about Sausages (cowboy casserole), flapjacks, raw carrot, apple etc. But make sure there are a few easy things too like pototoes, pasta, bread otherwise it becomes a mamoth task to eat! Also other activities can improve those muscles, like blowing (penny whistle, bubble in water/paint), sucking, making clickling noises with your tongue (like the niose people use to show a horse) etc

I work with children with speech delay (3+) and it's not really chewy your after (IMO) just any sort of muscle movement that isn't suck, so any sort of chomping/yawning/tightening motion is good - not nec hard core chewing IYGWIM?

HTH - I find parents in these situations always get loads of different advice and often get conflicted - I would always say go with your instinct!

Many thanks navyeyelasH that was a really helpful post. Thanks again xx

3littlefrogs sadly I get conflicting advice from the pros too hence I came to mumsnet for the real wisdom!

I know what you mean - it makes me feel ashamed TBH. But FWIW, I think navyeyelasH is spot on.

Hi any updates please