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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Four year old in night nappies - problem, or normal?

33 replies

Smithagain · 06/10/2009 22:05

DD2 was four in August and has just started school. We've just had the School Health Team's questionnaire, prior to doing their standard checks. One of the questions was "Does your child suffer from bed wetting?"

DD2 is still in nappies at night. So I guess she does "suffer from" bed wetting - but it hadn't occured to me that it was a problem. We've had a couple of attempts at night-time training, without success, and have just put it on hold for another couple of months while she settles at school.

So can anyone remind me what is the "normal" age for being dry at night. And is the question appropriate for Reception-aged children or not?!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

CybilLiberty · 06/10/2009 22:07

If your child is waring nappies at night, then its normal for you. Better than constantly changing sheets! FWIW my ds is 6 and wet the bed last week... I don't know of many college age children who are still wet at night so i think you will be fine

popcorn123 · 06/10/2009 22:08

ds1 has just come out of night nappies at 4.8 and has been dry for the last month or so. I haven't asked at school but I think it is reasonably common - only if still wetting at 7 is it classed a "problem"

Rosesinautumn · 06/10/2009 22:13

I don't know what the 'normal' age is but just to reassure you, my DS is four and still in night nappies. He point blank refuses to give them up and I'm in no mood to push him about it right now. If he's still in them by the end of the year I might try and figure out a plan of action, but honestly, I think there are greater things to worry about.

IwishIwasmoreorganised · 06/10/2009 22:16

My ds1 is nearly 4 and still wears pull ups at night.

I asked my friend who is a (good) hv if this is normal or not and she said that they only refer on if children are still wet at night at the age of 7, so in my mind tey have plenty of time yet before we should worry.

MollieO · 06/10/2009 22:22

Ds wore pull ups at night until he was 4.6 and stopped by himself on the day he turned 4.6.

paranoidmother · 06/10/2009 22:23

my DD is in reception and she occasionally wets the bed (last night) however lots of her friends are still in nappies. I would say that they all realise at different times and by the time they move up to secondary school or want to do sleep overs they'll be out of them.

I have a friend with twins and one was dry and the other in nappies at 7 so I wouldn't worry about it.

Fleecy · 06/10/2009 22:24

This has put my mind at rest! Came on here today to ask when it was normal to be dry at night.

DD is only just three but has been dry in the day for a good six months. Her nappies were dry in the morning so I decided to take the plunge and put her to bed with no nappy but potty in her room - first two nights were fine, next three nights she did a wee in the bed, last night she did a poo in bed

We wondered if she was in too deep a sleep to know what she was doing but she told us she woke up but didn't want to get out of bed (lazy like her mum - not that I poo in bed!). She's very offhand about it. Does this mean it's too soon? Should we go back to nappies for a few months?

Sorry for hijack

ReneRusso · 06/10/2009 22:39

I think its a slightly odd question for reception-aged children, and as you can see from the responses you have so far, it is obviously normal.
Fleecy - I would go back to nappies and only try again when the nappies are consistently clean and dry in the morning for several days.

LatinDAISYcal · 06/10/2009 22:45

I think most children are dry by school age, but it's pretty usual for some not to be. My DS is 7 and 5mo and he still needs a pull up at night. We spoke to the doctor just after his seventh birthday and they didn't seem to be in any hurry to refer him anywhere and said that he would get there in his own time.

DS is starting to get wuite bothered by it though.

Talking to other mums at school though, it;s certainly more common than you would think at first.

Fleecy could you try leaving a potty in her room?

Original poster

Smithagain · 07/10/2009 12:52

Thanks everyone. Judging by responses, she is very unlikely to be the only one still using pull-ups at night, which was my main concern really. I don't want to push the night-time training, because I don't think she's ready. But I'm also hoping she won't get picked on for being a "baby" if she lets slip that she still wears them!

And I do think it's an odd question to ask at all, if there is no need to worry for another couple of years, yet!

OP posts:

TwoManyFallsAndYouGetABadScore · 07/10/2009 13:01

I am just about to put DD (3.6) back into night nappies. We have had so many wet beds recently...

how to persaude her to wear them though now she is a "big girl" is a different matter entirely. Any tips??

Original poster

Smithagain · 07/10/2009 13:06

We don't have night nappies, we have "big girls sleeping pants". I'm not sure she's fooled, though!

Last time we gave up with DD2, I made sure I bought a variety that had nauseating princess pictures on them, which helped persuade her to put them on. And she was honest enough to admit that she doesn't like waking up in a freezing cold, soaking wet bed, so it would be a good idea to use the "special pants" for a bit again.

OP posts:

MadameDefarge · 07/10/2009 13:08

My ds wore pull ups at night until his fifth birthday, when we had a ceremonial handing over of baby bottles to a real baby. His nightime bottle was his comfort blanket, and so meant for wet nights. He was dry thereafter. Funnily enough he still talks about his bottle quite wistfully and says it was "comfy'. He is 9!

TwoManyFallsAndYouGetABadScore · 07/10/2009 13:14

I did try calling them that but she said they were like the nappies she used to wear - they are too bright these DCs! I started a thread recently asking for some ideas for real ones - thought they might be sufficently different enough - so will buy some.

I think I will just "reason" with her about waking up in a wet bed. the worst of it is she ends up weeing all over her bear and she gets mightly upset so that might be the thing that wins her over.....

Original poster

Smithagain · 07/10/2009 14:47

We did resort to a little bit of emotional blackmail, by persuading her to go back into pullups on the night her favourite babysitter was coming. She agreed that it wouldn't be nice for the babysitter to have to change the wet bed. And once she'd worn them once, it wasn't so hard the next time.

OP posts:

hullygully · 07/10/2009 14:49

My Ds wore pull-ups until he was about 9, his bladder simply wasn't up to it. I don't think there's any need to woryy until they're about 15.

USERSRLOSERS · 10/10/2009 00:39

Here's what worked for us (one Doctor we know thought it was the wrong method,as he said let our son wet the bed and he would soon hate lying in it, he was chids toless so what would he know? Other Docs with kids said it was a great idea) Whoever was the last one in bed usually me at midnight gently wakes the child and go get them on the loo, they usually are always v.pliant and will pee with no probs. The key to it working is ensuring they have a pee after the bath before bed too. We did it fo 8 months and then he would wake himself and do his business and go straight back to bed. END OF NAPPIES RESULT!!!

JollyPirate · 10/10/2009 01:12

It's a crap question. I am a HV and am supposed to ask it as part of a pre school assessment. It's dreadful as many children are still wetting at this age and it's entirely normal. It would be a better question to ask at 7 years.

egypt · 10/10/2009 03:56

My daughter is 5 and around a third of the children in her class are still wet at night. (We all know each other very well as class mums - been together as a class for 2 years). They are Year 1.

They will get there in their own time and won't be wetting the bed at 15.

By the way, I heard that once your child is over 4, you can get nappies in the nhs?!

egypt · 10/10/2009 03:56

'on' the nhs!

mummyloveslucy · 10/10/2009 04:01

My daughter is 4.5 and until recently, wore a nappy to bed. It was always wet in the morning. One night we ran out of nappies and she woke up dry. We tried it again and she was dry every night if she knew there was no nappy. I was quite supprised. We use a waterproof sheet now, just in case.
I think bed wetting at this age is very commn. I wouldn't worry about it at all.

pippel · 10/10/2009 07:58

my dd was over 4 when she stopped needing a nappy at night, and by that time she had been dry during the day for over 2 years.

If I tried her with out a nappy she wet the bed within an hour of going to sleep, but once she was ready there where no problems.

4kidsandlovingit · 10/10/2009 11:23

Smithagain

You have nothing to worry about. The question what is the right age is like how long is a piece of string. All children are different and I completely understand your concerns.
I have 4 children of my own. The eldest was clean and dry at 22mths and dry at night not long after. Second was c and d at 2 (I wasnt going to have 3 kids in nappies) and dry at night by 3. Twins have been a whole different ball game. T1 (girl) took ages to get the hang of potty training (2yrs 2mths) but has never looked back since and has been dry at night for ages now. T2 (boy) was great when we started potty training and then lapsed. He got to the point where preschool would phone me by 11.30 and ask me to take more trousers cos he had had 4 accidents in two hours! Then we could go a while without any and then back again to lots. Ive have tried shouting screaming, sticker charts, banning from playstation and nothing worked for him. As for getting him dry at night, not a chance.
Eventually i ended up in tears with my fab health visitor who managed to get him (almost 5 at that time) refered to an Enuretic clinic (I had neverheard of one until then) I had to measure how much urine he was outputting even when bursting. Turns out he had an overactive bladder and can only have coffee, tea blackcurrant, coke, chocolate (anything with caffeine in it) in very small doses as a rare treat. The caffeine irritates the bladder and the urine is released and there is nothing the child can do about it.
T2 will be 6 in January and touch wood has been great during the day for the best part of a year now. But night time forget it. He still wears pull ups which we keep in his drawers and he changes before he goes to bed at night and no one drawes any attention to it. Weve recently tried going without pants for a week. he had two dry nights out of that week Ive had extra washing everyday and he has had to be showered every morning before school. He doesnt wake up at night and lying in a wet bed doesnt wake him up. We are now back to pants its easier all round and prevents any undue presure on him. As my MIL would say how many 21 year olds wet the bed? Its something they all grow out of eventually. The Clinic have told me they wont consider addressing the bed wetting until he has turned 6 so for now we just plod along as we are.
My advice to you is dont worry. The people who knows that pants are being worn to bed are the people who you tell. If you choose not to disclose this to people think how many others are choosing not to disclose this to you. Things will change they just take some time. Best of luck for the future X

purepurple · 10/10/2009 12:55

Doctors don't normally consider bed wetting a problem unless the child is over 7.
Your daughter is normal.
She doesn't suffer from bed wetting, so just answer no.

Ewemoo · 10/10/2009 13:00

I had the same question last year when my dd1 went into reception class. I answered "yes but not considered a problem". Tbh it really annoyed me as why should it be a problem? They're too keen to give dcs labels or issues these days. Btw my dd1 who is now 5.3 is now out of night nappies but about once the week at least she wets the bed even though we keep to her bedtime routine.

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