Help DS 2 1/2 answering back

[Jobean]

When either myself or DH has to tell our DS off, we get loads of back chat and answering back.

Last night, when DS was asleep my DH and I had a rather heated discussion on how we should handle this.

I say ignore it, make your point and if he tries to argue back then I ignore him, he is only trying to get a reaction (any attention is good attention etc)

DH one on the other hand says he refuses to be bossed around by a 2 1/2 year old and so when DS answers him back DH argues back at him which I think is a BIG mistake. DH feels that ignoring him is a bit wishy washy and that if we don't do something about it now our DS will grow into a monster. His gut feeling is that a smacked bottom and sending to bed will do more good than harm and that's what happened to him (like he remembers being 2 1/2!!)

in the heat of the moment he also blamed me for DS behaviour saying that when he pulls me on something I answer back and this is where DS is getting it from.

aaaarrrrggghhhh - HELP

At 2 ½ this is part of his normal development. He is programmed to constantly test the boundaries.
My DS ? almost 3 now has been like this for the last 6 months or so.
Like you, I take the ?ignore? approach. Any interaction with a misbehaving child is counterproductive IMO. Attention is attention.
The thing that seems to work with my DS is to tell him I?m not happy with him and walk away.
This always stops the immediate problem but hasn?t so far stopped him from doing it again but I think I would be more worried if he was always compliant and NEVER tried to ?push it?.

His latest gem is:
DS: Mummy, please may I can have a (we?re working on the wording here )
Me: No. You?ve just had one ? going to bed ? what ever.
DS: Well I want it and I want it NOW and that?s just TOUGH.
Me: (trying very hard not to laugh) Well your not having it and if your going to talk to me like that and make me unhappy I don?t want to see you < walk away from him>
DS: Sorry Mummy. Plllleeeaaase be happy with me.

End of issue.

Probably not much help here but at least you know that someone agrees with you!!

Jobean,

I tend to agree with you on this one. To a 2 and a half year old things are black and white and they are only just understanding that they say as you do. You cant reason with a child this age so arguing will do nothing.

Because of this a 2 and a half year old will accept that they do as you do. therefore the more you argue with them, the more they take this as an acceptable form of behaviour. The same with smacking. When my DD began to hit I responded with a short slap back. I soon realised that there was no point in doing this as it was not teaching her that hitting was wrong as I was doing it back.

The best form of discipline I have found with DD is to remove her calmly into another room closing the door. For a few seconds only but enough to get a reaction. Then let your son in, sit him down and explain why you have just done that. Once he has gone through that a few times all you will have to do is threaten him with another room and it should have an effect.

It may not work obviously.