female genitalia - how do you describe it to a toddler?

[PavlovtheForgetfulCat]

DD aged 3 just opened her labia and pointed to her clitoris and said 'whats this mama' and I said 'its your clitoris' and she said 'clitoris? oh whats that for?' and I was stumped as to what to tell her, being 3 and all, then wondered if I was too 'grown up' in how I described it.

How have you explained this to your toddler in a way that does not confuse them?

But James they don't really go round talking about any bits of their body anyway, poo oh God yes, endless hilarious talk of poo but there (ime) not very much talk of anatomical parts.

I rarely talk of my labia much with my rl friends, they seldom come up in conversation, but if they were to I would be more than comfortable to use the correct terminolgy. If you've got problematic labia there is not much point beating about the bush (oh lol at play on words) with front bottoms is there now?

That's a relief slubber, my ds is three next year and I was anticipating all manner of indiscreet blurting in public! I've been told I was very embarassing as a child, so I figure I'm probably owed one of "those" kids myself as punishment for fraying my poor mother's nerves.

Well he will say it ENDLESSLY if your first reaction is to have a fit of the vapours and have a Victoriana swoon at the first public mentioning of willies.

You need to get the disinterested 'yes dear, and there's a funny man on a bicycle' strategy prepared in good time.

Oh Pavlov I admire you, I hope I do as well as you if my dd asks me this in a couple of years' time!

Hmmm I really like Restrainedrabbit's word 'gina. I might borrow it when the time comes...

Pavlov you are my kindred spirit

shineon I agree - do not expect DD to walk around saying 'mama, i have just had a poo and I need my anus wiped please' but then when she asked a direct question about a specific part of her female body, I felt wrong calling it a 'bobo' or a 'numnum' as that is not its name. Like, her name is xxx, but she is referred to as yyy much of the time instead, she knows that, but she also knows xxx is her 'name'.

Its like I know what all the formal bits are called, but generally refer to it on the whole as my 'lady garden' as a more genteel way of mentioning it, on the rare occasions it has been necessary amongst friends!

I agree Pavlov, if they specifically ask and point (or tug away at it as dd1 did ) I'm not going to give it a made up name.

Have you wiped your bottom and have you washed your bottom are pretty much the only references made in this house to all things nether, but if they had to do a gynae quiz at school I would be confident in my girls getting top marks .

shineon you say your LO knows the correct words - this means you must have taught her them at some point, told her the correct name? I am guessing that would have been when she asked? Or when you felt appropriate? With DD, if she had not asked, I would not have felt compelled to tell her, but she asked. And she loves long and complicated words. She rolls them around her tongue and practices them over and over.

Who honestly thinks that coy references to 'lady bits' and 'front bottom' are a good idea? DD will equate genitalia with vague and confusing euphimisms which signal shame or prurience. Do you call their elbows 'arm-bending bits'? A nice simple answer to a direct question seems the best option. Just because boys have a willy which conveniently deals with urinating, reproduction and sexual sensation is no reason to be silly and untruthful to a little girl who notices that her fanny is not one simple bit of flesh.

My DD came home from Nursery and described it as her Mary and that's what we use. It is a fine line to be truthful, technical and not opening up a can of worms that is not that relevant for a 3/4 yr old. It is not about been embarrassed it is about going into a conversation that could take away the innocence of childhood.

i only have boys but they are fascinated that poor mummy has no willy. In our house we refer to girls vaginas as Foo foos simply because i thought it was a nice word. they are only 2 and 4. Plenty of time for vaginas later on. Interestingly my mother refered to mine as "your roses" which i think now was quite sweet but i didn't grow up actually thinking I had plant life there.....leave it a few more years. You will know when they will understand all the correct terms without fear of practising the words on the bus.

i used to call it my flower when Dc were little

" Its not like telling a boy his penis is called a pork sword."

snort

DDs bits are called her underneath
DSs bits are called their widgie

I leave the proper names for the science lesson

Because I'm really immature I would snort if one of my friends referred to her 'anus' or 'clitoris' in general conversation. I LOVE the slang words that we use for 'our bits' and reckon that eventually we all find the words which are appropriate for whatever situation. This does not mean that I am ashamed of any of the wonderful female anatomy just that I HATE the medical terms - they are so bald and technical and dry.

I will tell my children these 'technical' terms so they recognise them in a biology class/be able to use them at the docs but I refuse to insist that they use them in general parlance - because they are so clinical and dull.

To O/P: I think you did the right thing in that instant and if pressed as to the purpose of the clitoris (as you were) I would just say that it will feel nice when she's older/helps makes babies - whatever seems appropriate.

My dd came home from school when she was younger, and whispered 'mummy, I know the proper name for a willy! It's called a peanut!'
Now I have a ds he calls it his winkle. My dd calls her bits her mini. Don't really know why?!