How would you have dealt with this mortifying cake situation?

[Caligula]

DS sixth birthday party yesterday. All went swimmingly well until it was time to sing Happy Birthday and bring in the cake. At that stage, he decided to burst into tears because while they were all waiting for me to bring it in, they sang songs and the kids chose them. DD hadn't had a song choice and so on her behalf, he decided to get very upset about it and weep and wail (she hadn't even noticed).

My reaction was to carry on singing Happy Birthday in the hope that it would distract him and cheer him up, but he carried on crying and when it was time to blow out the candles, he sort of blew and spat at the same time, making the cake pretty inedible to anyone with any refinement (luckily none of the party guests! ).

But it was just one of those moments where if I were an uptight Bree-type mother, I would call in the child psychiatrists. Should I have done something else? And if so, what? And should I be calling the men in white coats?

aww, he sounds like a sweetie!

one of the boys i used to look after cried when we brought his cake in for his third birthday. He insisted that it was not his birthday and that he was only 2!!!

I think you did the right thing. He sounds like a thoughtful, sensitive little boy... and may just have been overwhelmed by it all!

I wouldn't put Dr Tanya on speed dial quite yet, Caligula

I quite clearly recall ending nearly every birthday party I had in tears, between the age of about 6 and 10. Mum kept them short (2 - 2.5 hours) but the build up itself was so exciting that I would be channelling the spirit of 'brittle 1950's hostess' by the time it came to cake cutting and it would take very little (in fact, nothing) to set me off. This despite the fact that I was quite a relaxed (if shy) and phlegmatic little kid.

Quite funny in retrospect, amazing what adulthood and alcohol can do for one's party morale!

And FWIW, I think you dealt with it perfectly.

It made me want to head for the drinks cabinet, I can tell you! In fact, I can't understand why I only went for a Rochester Ginger yesterday evening, when by rights I should have downed at least a half a bottle of wine! It was just so depressing, the mothers who were there all gave each other knowing looks as if to say "Hmm, yes, he's not quite right, is he?" I didn't know whether to laugh or cry about it - still don't, really!

How does he feel about it? Has he referred to it since?

Not really. After the party, I told him that it wasn't a nice thing to have done, to have spat all over the cake, and that DD hadn't been upset about not having her name called and that there was no need to have got so upset about it. I also explained that when people are singing happy birthday to you, it's polite to try and look as if you're enjoying it! He said that he was upset about DD not having a choice of song because she was the littlest - I think he felt she was being left out and maybe I should just be grateful that he's so protective of his little sister. Didn't feel very grateful yesterday though!

i wouldnt worry too much!

i would have doen the same thing.... carry on regardless!

also surely you could have taken off the icing and ate the cake? (I know i would have!)

oh come now - a bit of spittle never hurt anyone (well, possibly that's not true but I would certainly not have taken the icing off any cake of mine just because of a few speckles - ah the joys of motherhood )
your ds sounds adorable caligula
what is a bree mother btw?

Poor you Caligula, personally I wouldn't invite anyone who wouldn't eat spit cake to a child's birthday party!

I think you handled it perfectly, I would have just kept singing too but perhaps increased the volume to cover the crying .

BTW I would definately identify myself as a Lynette-type mother - this could be a whole other thread!.

Morocco - Bree is the mother in Desperate Housewives who does all her own upholstery, baking, home-making etc. and has perfect standards for her children, home and marriage.

My role model .

Yes, unfortunately I'm more like Lynette as well. But I want to be Gabrielle!