advice needed - 3 yr old ds keeps wetting pants

[fififlores]

Hello, I know this is not exactly hold-the-front-page stuff, but he has been using a potty for everything without a problem for months now. He even tells me when he´s going to do a wee/poo. We live in Spain so has been without nappies, except when going out (not much, as have 6mo too).

He has now started school (they start em young here, he turned 3 yesterday), where he is ´´not allowed´´ to wear nappies. So obviously we are in pants. Luckily school is only 1.5hrs for this and next week, so he hasn´t had any accidents there yet, as I make sure he goes right before leaving.

But then when he wears pants at home, he always wets them cos he never asks to go - I take him every couple of hours. We got through three pairs yest afternoon. I am offering stickers, maybe I need to move onto choccie buttons.

Should I be taking him more often? A psychyologist here said to leave him in wet pants. Any other advice would be appreciated as in 10 days´ time he will be doing 5 hours at school, and wet pants will become an issue there, altho mil claims he will soon learn cos will hear other kids askign to go ´´pee pee´´.

I am potty training number 3 now and really feel after speaking to many friends on the subject that if you make an issue of it, it becomes a stress for the child. Just send in spares, and the school will shout if they think it is an issue after a while. My guess though, is once settling into a routine, and knowing where everything is, it won't be an issue anymore anyway.

That is just what i wanted to hear, tonesishere. i have always read not to make an issue, but i was starting to do exactly that. I will hold my tongue now - i lose my rag far too easily with poor ds, as am on my own with 2 dc during week, dh works away mon-fri. thank you for calm advice. deep breaths, thank god for washing machines.

hi please don't worry - my dd did this for a while too. I did get cross a few times but nothing really made any difference! dd was often too busy playing to want to ask, and left it too late. She did grow out of it Don't leave him in wet pants though, just send spares in to school with him - I did this at dd's nursery, they are used to dealing with it.

yes, he´s had a spare set of clothes at school since he started last week, and every time he doesn´t come back with dirty clothes in his little bag, I am really pleased! thanks, paddington, fingers crossed. i think i got fixated cos a friend´s ds, same age, did it overnight - one day she took him every half hour, next day he started asking, and i stupidly thought same thing might happen with my ds, had no idea would take so long (started at nursery in April). Also there´s a book by a certain childcare author called ´´potty training in a week´´, which also made me think it was a quick process. oops!

ah yes, the book.. MIL bought it for me! She meant well I know, but after a month or so it went to the back of the shelf. Then MIL told me that dh had been very lazy at potty training - cue one embarrassed dh

hahaha - mil revealed yest, and dh will not thank her for this - that he still used to wee in his pants at the age of 5!!!!!

3yo is still young for being completely dry. DS still has accidents at 5yo, he just forgets to go or is engrossed in play.

The school will be used to it, don't worry.

We live in Spain too and find that the school day has scheduled class trips to the loo for the younger ones, so they all go one after the other at set times - this will help your DS as he´ll see all the other kids going and will do the same. The problem I find is that at home because there are no set times they get lazy at going by themselves without prompting. Still better to be wet at home than school. To put your mind at rest ask the teacher if there are set times when they all go, I expect there are.

Hi, it's a while since your original post so hope you've got it sorted! I am interested to know how the school is handling this as my 3y 3m old is at school in Spain and since starting in September is wetting himself everyday at school. He refused to use the toilet at nursery for the last month before summer and we were in the UK for 5 months prior to that with very few wetting issues. I am at the end of my tether as they call me very day to go and change him and for the last few days he is also wet when I go to fetch him. I am not allowed to leave a change of clothes there as they will not change him. He is totally dry at home and has been for a long time, still wears pull-ups at night but only has the odd accident if he's having a nap and has drunk lots before. The headmistress collared me today and said they have talked to him, they take him to the toilet, try to encourage him when he is doing his wee-dance, he simply refuses to use the toilet there. She started saying that school was not compulsory for him yet and maybe a week at home would help -don't understand how as the problem is at school not at home? I can count on one hand the number of wees he's done there, and then only a dribble! He said last week it's because he wants me to stay all day so now his teacher has said she is not going to ring me and he is aware he will be left in wet trousers until 2pm when I collect him (he usually wees after snack time at 11am). This feels a bit harsh but I have tried everything else - been angry, upset, disappointed, offered treats, a reward at end of a dry week, nothing works! Any advise would be very welcome.