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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

How do you deal with bad language in a toddler?

17 replies

shinyshilling · 15/09/2009 20:16

I opened the curtains in my 3yr old DD's bedroom this morning to find it had been raining through the night. I explained to her that I had left the washing on the line last night and it would probably be all wet this morning. She replied "Oh shit Mammy". I was taken aback to say the least, although it was said in a sense of offering empathy instead of being malicious.

I didn't want to make a big thing of it especially as today was her first day at nursery and certainly didn't want her 'empathising' with the teachers! I just said that perhaps that wasn't the nicest thing to say and that sometimes people say things like that when they feel a bit angry or frustrated, which I understood she may have felt, but maybe it's not the nicest way of explaining your irritation.

What have the rest of you done when your kids have used bad language? I think it's part and parcel of life, that in moderation it's a form of expression, but obvioulsy you can't expect a three yr old to understand what's appropriate. Mmmmm?

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dogonpoints · 15/09/2009 20:18

I stopped swearing in front of them

SecretSlattern · 15/09/2009 20:20

and ignore, ignore, ignore!

llareggub · 15/09/2009 20:21

Where does a 3 year old hear bad language?

generalunrest · 15/09/2009 20:44

I swear like a trooper, but I've managed to only swear once in front of 8 YO DD when we nearly got run over by a car, fraid you're going to have to control the swearing around her somehow.

deaconblue · 15/09/2009 21:11

ds (3) has started yelling "you idiot" at himself and others in frustration. We started by explaining it wasn't a nice thing to say but he says it several times a day at hte moment so we've gone to zero tolerance and he has to sit on the door mat every time he says it. am determined to get rid of it from his vocab

PacificDogwood · 15/09/2009 21:13

Just wait until she starts school....

onepieceoflollipop · 15/09/2009 21:14

We are hearing the word "idiot" a lot from our dd - yr 1, she claims to have heard it from an older boy at school.

shoppingbags we also have started the zero tolerance thing but it is the step rather than the mat in our house.

I'm afraid that when she once said the f word (and a couple of bloody...) that wasn't from school

As others have said, stop swearing near the dcs.

annabelcaramel · 15/09/2009 21:15

Duct tape?

deaconblue · 15/09/2009 21:16

can't get to the bottom of where ds heard it. I think someone must have said it to him (definitely not me or dh)

onepieceoflollipop · 15/09/2009 21:18

We are also getting "poo head" (which caused some amusement on another thread but really irritates me) and "shut up/shurrup" said in a really stroppy tone.

I admit that I used to swear, (but manage to contain myself more post-dcs) but I tend not to call people pooheads or idiots,not even on a very bad day.

scotlass · 15/09/2009 21:19

ignore, ignore, ignore and say something like that's right it's not good the washing was left out and got wet before moving swiftly on and changing the subject. Most kids will try out new words they've heard (and it's not always from you). People forget themselves when they are around kids and say things without thinking. If it's just one offs paying attention to it becomes a game, if its all the time you do need to tackle it

As other posters have said you have to self control, especially in the car. My 10yr old now says "you really wanted to swear there didn't you mum" as I'm flustering looking for another strong word to say that isn't sweary

squeaver · 15/09/2009 21:20

When my dd was almost 2, we went through a "fuck" phase. Said in context i.e. she would drop something on the floor and say "oh fuck".
Usually in a shop or somewhere equally public.

The only thing that works is to ignore, ignore, ignore.

But, boy, is it difficult.

onepieceoflollipop · 15/09/2009 21:22

It doesn't work if you try and pretend you have said another word that happens to rhyme with the "bad" word. i.e. your dc will not believe that you really said duck.

feedthegoat · 15/09/2009 21:27

My ds went through a phase of saying 'bloody' all the time . And yes bad mummy alert it was my fault.

Worst time was when my friend was waiting outside a shop with him which was filled with children and parents from playschool and ds loudly announced 'These kids are doing my bloody head in!'

I stopped swearing in front of him and didn't make a fuss when he did it. I just repeated what he said back to him switching bloody to blooming. Ds now gets 'blooming fed up' alot now but the bloody has pretty much stopped.

crokky · 15/09/2009 21:41

I have a 3.6yo and a 17mo. Both have used swear words. It's mainly my fault, but also my brothers and my parents have said swear words in front of them. It's not desirable, but at the end of the day, we are all human. Swearing is a far less serious "crime" than say, malicious behaviour IMO.

Anyway - if you think you are in a situation where you might be able to fool the toddler into thinking you said something else, then do that. If not, you ignore it. I think you take more direct action if they are a little older.

Anyway...rhyming/similar ones to try and convince toddler you actually said...

"Fuck it" - Bucket
"Oh Fuck" - Bad luck / saw a duck
"Shit" - Sheet (is dirty, shall we put it in the washing machine?)

angelina76 · 22/06/2012 12:45

We don't swear in front of our two but others do - they just can't seem to help it. We made up new swear words and used them around the house, being sure to overplay it when we did. Our 2 year old latched on to that one a treat and now she thinks she is being really offensive when she says "bubblewrap" and "cuttlefish".

smokeandglitter · 22/06/2012 12:50

Not got anything to add, just had to chuckle at bubblewrap and cuttlefish. I always say Fairydust.

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