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Original poster

Have you ever told off your child's friends?

26 replies

Mosschops30 · 02/06/2005 15:01

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suzywong · 02/06/2005 15:02

don't be worried, it's the most basic primal instinct to protect your child from physical attacks and be grateful you have that instinct

madmarchhare · 02/06/2005 15:04

I do it all the time!

beansmum · 02/06/2005 15:05

I try and bite my tongue in most situations but when another child is violent you can't help yourself really!

Kelly1978 · 02/06/2005 15:05

yep, all the time, and also to protect my home as well as my dkids!

flobbleflobble · 02/06/2005 15:18

I think it's a good idea to tell off your dd's friends for poor behaviour - but preferably only in a calm and measured way

PrettyCandles · 02/06/2005 15:20

How did the girl's mother react? If she's not bothered by your telling her daughter off, then neither should you be. If she is, then you need to tell her that you won't allow people to assault your daughter and either she controls her daughter or you will. (But perhaps a little more diplomatically than that.) Either way, I don't think you did anything wrong at all.

Enid · 02/06/2005 15:24

yes

and the little girl burst into tears

webmum · 02/06/2005 15:26

I try not to if the mum's present, unless they something very bad and the mother ignores them (but never been in such a situation!) but if I'm in charge of them I treat them as mine.

Original poster
Mosschops30 · 02/06/2005 15:28

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Enid · 02/06/2005 15:30

just in case you think I am a horrid witch, the little girl in question whispered to dd "I am not going to play with you today and I am going to tell everyone else not to play with you either". So I leant over and said "x that is a horrid thing to say, don't say things like that" then I said to dd1 " dont worry, x was being silly and she didnt mean it"
x promptly burst into floods of tears.

drama queen

Original poster
Mosschops30 · 02/06/2005 15:34

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suzywong · 02/06/2005 15:34

you know I have to say I think us English are the only people who worry about this, every other culture people just get on with it and don't worry about it as long as the behaviour is addressed.

assumedname · 02/06/2005 15:34

I would tell her off for squeezing your dd's neck, same as for hurting her anywhere else.

But, I would also have a talk with her/her mother about how dangerous it could be to hurt certain parts of the body, eg, neck, head.

Original poster
Mosschops30 · 02/06/2005 15:34

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Enid · 02/06/2005 15:35

well thats ok mosschops.

I personally wouldnt have threatened though.

but thast me, a pussycat really

suzy if you read this I am not ignoring you on msn but cant use my pc at home for a week or so (builders)

suzywong · 02/06/2005 15:36

yeah right, you cyber tease enid

Original poster
Mosschops30 · 02/06/2005 15:36

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Enid · 02/06/2005 15:38

wong:

mossy - honestly I wouldnt worry. she sounds poisonous.

mancmum · 02/06/2005 15:48

if my kids were being attacked and their parents' were not doing anything to stop it, hell yes I would tell them off... no one gets away with hurting my kids... I have real problems with parents too pathetic to discipline their kids -- if they can not do it, I am more than happy to do it for them... if they don't like it, then how could you be friends with them in the first place if they are allowing their kids to be so awful? I have to say I have lost a couple of friends since we became parents as I have found it impossible to cope with their attitudes towards their feral kids and no longer enjoy being with them as never relaxed..

madmarchhare · 02/06/2005 16:07

feral kids

vess · 02/06/2005 19:30

Hate telling off other children and won't do it if I can help it... however, there's some potentially dangerous things that just shouldn't be done, and I feel that, if nobody else is doing it, I just have to do it, even if my ds is not involved at all. Squeezing somebody by the neck falls into that cathegory.
Last time I've done it, I had to yell at ds and his friends, who were about to start throwing stones at each other...talk about feral kids!

Twiglett · 02/06/2005 19:34

why should you bite your tongue

you are the adult she is a child and needs correcting especially when exhibiting violent and downright dangerous behaviour

I have no qualms in telling any of DS's friends off and they tend to behave beautifully when I'm around

Furball · 02/06/2005 19:34

not really told off anybody elses kids but I do say to them 'thats not very nice. is it?' if something nasty is going on. Usually the mother then steps in and does the rest.

Twiglett · 02/06/2005 19:37

reminds me of one of my sisters, and not the mad one either who found out that a kid at school had been having a go at her youngest (when he was around 7)

on about the 3rd or 4th report of bullying she cornered said child (son of a friend) in the playground and hissed 'if you ever dare raise a hand to xxx again or even talk nastily to him you will have ME to deal with'

supposedly that was the end of the bullying

Twiglett · 02/06/2005 19:39

Contentious but strongly held viewpoint coming up .....

...

I totally detest all this 'am I allowed to say anything to this child' .. we are adults, they are children, what on earth happened to community parenting?? .. as long as you deal with them in the same way as you would your own children then you are doing a good job. People who do not immediately deal with an issue when it arises are not doing the child any favours at all

... have ranted on that one before, and shall again no doubt