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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

2.6 year age gap - what's it like?

18 replies

Gateau · 08/09/2009 12:43

Have been reading some pretty scary stories on here from Mums with similiarish age gaps.
I'm expecting DC2 in Oct when DS will be 2.6 and although I am of course excited, I'm also very apprehensive about having two, particularly as DS is such a strong-willed little livewire!
Has anyone any positive stories and/or tips that could perhaps make life a little easier?

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skybright · 08/09/2009 12:53

I had around that age gap,it really was not a problem,my fears of DD1 being a nightmare did not appear and she coped really well and actually became better behaved when her little sister was born.

It was a quite a few years ago but this is what sticks out for me...luckily DD2 was a good sleeper so i got both of the girls in the same routine as soon as possible,also a bought a double buggy a nice stress freeish walk was always good.

I bought DD1 a present from DD2 and gave it to her the first time she saw her little sister.

Original poster

Gateau · 08/09/2009 12:56

Thanks sky; that's reassuring. Was your DD1 a livewire too?
I like the present idea; we'll do that too.

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spinspinsugar · 08/09/2009 13:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ceebee74 · 08/09/2009 13:13

I agree - it completely depends on your child.

I have a 2.4 year gap between my 2 boys and the early months were very hard - but I think it was completely down to DS1's personality and how that would cause him to react to the arrival of a new sibling.

Unfortunately there is probably no good predictor as to how your DS will react

skybright · 08/09/2009 13:18

Yeah she was a bit,always pulling the reel out of tapes(i am old) or putting Vaseline in her hair lol,i admit i did cry when i went to hospital in labour saying goodbye to dd1 as i felt such a mixture of guilt and fear,none of it was needed after a while i actually found it easier having two as they had each other to play with.

mumofeve · 08/09/2009 13:24

I presume you may have been reading the support thread for people with a baby and toddler !!!! There are 2yr5mths between my two (currently DD is 3; DS is 5m) and for me it has been hard, BUT saying that I have been incredibly lucky as DS is a dream baby. TBH I think I would have found dealing with DD REALLY hard even if she was an only child (she is very 'spirited'!), so I think it totally depends on the children.
I certainly found it easier to establish a routine the second time round, and felt much more confident about being a mum. You can't afford to be as 'indulgent' with either yourself or the baby as you were with no.1 (e.g. when DS was 2 wks old I was managing to get out of the house by 9am to take DD to playgroup, whereas when DD was 2 wks old it was all I could do to be dressed by the time DH came home from work). I wouldn't worry too much about it as I'm sure you will manage fine when it comes to the crunch - and lets face it, there's not much you can do about it now anyway !!!!!

AnnieLobeseder · 08/09/2009 13:31

There's 2.6 between my two, and I think it's a great gap. DD1 was potty trained so I didn't have to change two sets of nappies, and she was old enough to understand that new baby was coming, and also to fetch me things like muslins while I was stuck bf-ing on the sofa!

They adore each other and now that DD2 is 18mo have started playing together properly.

Maybe a bigger gap would be better initially as the old DC would be able to help more, but otoh the smaller the gap the better the chances of them being good mates.

It's worked out to be a really good gap for us - I don't think I'd do it differently if I had to do it again.

suwoo · 08/09/2009 13:43

I have a 2.7 age gap between mine and a DD who is 7. It is going really well so far, DS1 is very responsive to the baby but not that bothered that he wants to pick him up or anything like that. DS1 only started sleeping through 6 weeks before the baby arrived so I am completely used to broken nights and it is causing me no problems. I am bf DS2 and he is only waking once or twice in the night which is great.

The school run is fun in the morning, getting everyone ready and getting 2 bf in by 8.30 but I manage it.

So far it is going well (DS2 is 6 weeks) but I am not daft, I know it could degenerate at any point

Good luck.

Elk · 08/09/2009 13:44

We had a 2.8 gap between our dd's. It is always going to be hard work for the first few months especially with a toddler around as well. There will be lots of conflicting demands (particularly at bedtime) but somehow it all seems to work and watching the two of them together is great.

DD1 adored her little sister from the start and would have smothered her with love, she also hated it if anyone apart from me held her which was very cute. A number of visitors got told off for touching mummy's baby.

They are 6 and nearly 4 now and love playing together.

ThingOne · 08/09/2009 13:44

2.5 gap here. Now five and three and it's not a bad gap.

mathanxiety · 08/09/2009 15:36

I agree with mumofeve -- you really have to hit the ground running every morning despite possibly being very tired. DC2 was definitely on more of an organised routine than DC1 ever was. I thought I had prepared DC1 for the arrival of DC2, with books, chats about mummy having to take care of the baby quite a bit, and the baby's needs for nursing, nappy changes, cuddling, etc, shopping for the baby things together. When the time came, she was completely surprised that we now had a baby, but she coped quite well . I tried to make some time to do special things together every day, but I felt really wiped out after a few weeks. Coffee was my best friend .
They're a good bit older now (teens) and get along as well as can be expected for different personalities, sharing a bathroom ,etc.

lilysam · 08/09/2009 17:48

I had a 2.6 gap and it was great. DD was out of nappies, quite independent, helped fetch things for me like nappies, wipes etcs and adored her little brother. In the night when he woke we could just tell her to ignore him and go back to sleep. She's never bothered him in his room either.

Next gap will be 2 years between DS and next baby..........not so sure things will be as easy

AnnieLobeseder · 08/09/2009 18:24

In the first few weeks, remember that Cbeebies is your best friend! Then you'll be fine!!

FattipuffsandThinnifers · 08/09/2009 21:36

OP I'm in exactly the same situation - ds will be exactly 2.6 when dc2 arrives at the end of October. Ds is strong-willed [euphamism!] too, and pretty much used to our attention. I'm resigning myself to the fact that it will might be a nightmare to start with!

Interesting thread to read, will keep it on watch!

Will also look out for you in October to see how it's going

elastamum · 08/09/2009 21:47

Hi all,

20 months between my two boys. Was really hard work when they were small but since they both started school it has been wonderful as they get on great and both always have a friend to play with at home. They have different interests but genuinely like each other a lot. As i am now a LP i am soo lucky they are close together.

stickylittlefingers · 08/09/2009 22:07

Just to echo that it can be a really nice gap - small enough to be close in age, but big enough to have the older one understand what's going on.

I was going to leave potty training til nearer 3, but dd1 decided to start when dd2 was 2 weeks old. That was a bit challenging, but all was OK in the end!

They have always got on really well together, despite both being very definite characters - dd1 is a little lion in defence of her sister. It's lovely to see!

Waswondering · 08/09/2009 22:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Gateau · 09/09/2009 09:14

Thanks everyone; very positve, reassuring comments here.
Fattipuffs, would be good to keep in touch since we're both in the same boat. Do you hang out on any particular threads? I haven't really done any of the antenatal club things this time round. I'm sure I'll be on here and Parenting more than anywhere else - IF I get the time!

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